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  #46 (permalink)  
Old Tue Dec 20, 2011, 02:00pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smitty View Post
Maybe in a junior high game, but never in a high school game. If they don't know which lines matter, we have a lot more problems to worry about...
Yup. Plus these kids know to play the whistle anyway.
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  #47 (permalink)  
Old Tue Dec 20, 2011, 02:04pm
9/11 - Never Forget
 
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Agreed

Quote:
Originally Posted by JRutledge View Post
No child is calling me by my first name. I was not raised that way and I do not even call people that were adults when I was a child by their first name. It is a sign of respect and values IMO.

Peace
When I left the military, my bosses would say, "Now you can call me Karl or Jeff or whatever their name was."

I always responded, "Yes Sir."
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  #48 (permalink)  
Old Tue Dec 20, 2011, 02:08pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JRutledge View Post
Actually this is more cultural. I grew up with a African-American, Southern upbringing. Everyone in my family except for a very small few exceptions were born in the south (Alabama or Florida). And in many cases they went to college in the south as well. So when people referred to my Grandmother as an example they would call her "Miss Ollie" or "Miss Jones" but never Ollie. I will never forget I called someone that was a family friend by his first name and not only did he tell my parents, my mother and father jumped down my throat for doing such.

That to me has nothing to do with where I live now or what others do. I just do not feel kids are in a position to call me by my first name and the way I was always raised. I still value that to this day to the point where my mom is a retired college professor and she will call some of her colleagues who I knew as either kids or when I attended the same university and she will refer to them by their first name and I will not know who she is talking about. Then when she says, "Dr. ......." I then know who she is talking about.

Peace
I agree it's cultural, and I'll add that while we introduce ourselves here by first name, I've never had a player address me by my name. It's always "ref" or "sir." I'm in a military town now, and the religious make-up would make some think we're in the south if it wasn't for the weather and scenery.

I was raised in a conservative small town in Iowa, and I always referred to adults outside of the school by their first name. I didn't respect them less, but that was our culture.

Our kids, however, always use Mr. or Mrs. (normally with a first name, but with some adults it's the last name.) This is something we picked up from our church in Des Moines, and the trend is even stronger here.
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  #49 (permalink)  
Old Tue Dec 20, 2011, 02:22pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cmhjordan23 View Post
What does everybody discuss other than typical sportmanship, court awareness- out of bounds, backboard, and ball retrieval by players away from court.
Little of the above. We are required to say the following in GA: "Coaches are your teams properly equipped and wearing their equipment properly, and we expect good sportsmanship from players, bench personnel, and coaches".....
And that's more than I'd like to say. This is no time for a rules clinic!
  #50 (permalink)  
Old Tue Dec 20, 2011, 02:23pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by refiator View Post
Little of the above. We are required to say the following in GA: "Coaches are your teams properly equipped and wearing their equipment properly, and we expect good sportsmanship from players, bench personnel, and coaches".....
And that's more than I'd like to say. This is no time for a rules clinic!
Yep, and the players get the point pretty quickly that I'm not chasing the ball; when I don't chase the ball.
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  #51 (permalink)  
Old Tue Dec 20, 2011, 02:24pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snaqwells View Post
I agree it's cultural, and I'll add that while we introduce ourselves here by first name, I've never had a player address me by my name. It's always "ref" or "sir." I'm in a military town now, and the religious make-up would make some think we're in the south if it wasn't for the weather and scenery.

I was raised in a conservative small town in Iowa, and I always referred to adults outside of the school by their first name. I didn't respect them less, but that was our culture.

Our kids, however, always use Mr. or Mrs. (normally with a first name, but with some adults it's the last name.) This is something we picked up from our church in Des Moines, and the trend is even stronger here.
And I do get that having grew up in rural Illinois. People are usually very respectful and call people by their last name with Mr or Mrs in front. It is when I got to the suburbs or kids from the suburbs of Chicago you do not hear as much of those references. But even in my church I do not know many kids that do not call the adults the way I do. Then again as an official I cannot think of many that call me by first name. Not even college players do that. And I have gotten to the point where I introduce myself with my first and last name not Mr. But they better not call me Jeff. That is not going to be acceptable. Just like I do not refer to coaches by their first name either. I just feel how you talk to people shows a certain level of respect.

Peace
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  #52 (permalink)  
Old Tue Dec 20, 2011, 02:26pm
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I'd rather have a kid call me by my first name to my face and respect me behind my back than a kid call me Mr. to my face and trash me behind my back.
  #53 (permalink)  
Old Tue Dec 20, 2011, 02:28pm
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Originally Posted by fiasco View Post
I'd rather have a kid call me by my first name to my face and respect me behind my back than a kid call me Mr. to my face and trash me behind my back.
As long as the game goes smoothly, I really couldn't care less.

Outside of the court, I'd rather have a kid respect me to my face than behind my back, if I had to choose.
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  #54 (permalink)  
Old Tue Dec 20, 2011, 02:39pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RichMSN View Post
And when you introduce yourself as "Mr. Rut" I'll say, "and I'm Rich."

My values are different (not better or worse) than yours.
If your values are no better or worse why do you get a kick out of it?
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  #55 (permalink)  
Old Tue Dec 20, 2011, 02:45pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JRutledge View Post
And I do get that having grew up in rural Illinois. People are usually very respectful and call people by their last name with Mr or Mrs in front. It is when I got to the suburbs or kids from the suburbs of Chicago you do not hear as much of those references. But even in my church I do not know many kids that do not call the adults the way I do. Then again as an official I cannot think of many that call me by first name. Not even college players do that. And I have gotten to the point where I introduce myself with my first and last name not Mr. But they better not call me Jeff. That is not going to be acceptable. Just like I do not refer to coaches by their first name either. I just feel how you talk to people shows a certain level of respect.

Peace
There are guys I play pick up ball with (I'm way older than most who I play with) who call me Mr. BNR or Sir when talking to me. It's all about how folks were raised. Somebody introducing themselves as 'John' instead of 'Mr. Doe' doesn't make me think are any nicer or approachable than anybody else I'm come across in life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fiasco View Post
I'd rather have a kid call me by my first name to my face and respect me behind my back than a kid call me Mr. to my face and trash me behind my back.
Is that the only combination of events? What about kids who call you by your last name and respect you behind your back? Or kids who call you by your first name and trash you behind your back?
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Last edited by Raymond; Tue Dec 20, 2011 at 02:55pm.
  #56 (permalink)  
Old Tue Dec 20, 2011, 02:49pm
mj mj is offline
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I like to be referred by my first name as I'm not big on titles. I also refer to coaches by their first name but I may be in the minority on doing that in my area. I even look them up prior to the game if I don't know them.


It's what works for me, do what works for you...
  #57 (permalink)  
Old Tue Dec 20, 2011, 03:29pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BadNewsRef View Post
I don't discuss anything.

Introduce my partners, tell captains to handle their hot-heads before we have to, and sportsmanship is our #1 concern.
+1

The 3 respects are witty and quotable, but is not really useful (for me anyway) once the game starts. We also bring the coaches together, to talk to them briefly before the game. That conversation is very brief as well. I consider all of this my first warning, especially where sportsmanship and teenagers are involved.
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  #58 (permalink)  
Old Tue Dec 20, 2011, 03:52pm
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This generally takes 30 seconds

I'll introduce myself to the coaches.
"Coaches, are your players legally equipped and prepared to play"?
"Coaches, players, you're expected to show good sportsmanship at all times; coaches, we expect for you to be the leaders with this".
"On timeouts, let us know if it's a full of 30, otherwise, we charge you a full, and no discussions about it".
To the players: "Let your teammates know if they don't have the shirttails in, we will not let them into the game".
"Any issues"? (Usually "No").
"Good luck, have a great game".
  #59 (permalink)  
Old Tue Dec 20, 2011, 04:14pm
Do not give a damn!!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BadNewsRef View Post
There are guys I play pick up ball with (I'm way older than most who I play with) who call me Mr. BNR or Sir when talking to me. It's all about how folks were raised. Somebody introducing themselves as 'John' instead of 'Mr. Doe' doesn't make me think are any nicer or approachable than anybody else I'm come across in life.
I agree. I also think a social setting is very different than a formal or professional setting.

Peace
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  #60 (permalink)  
Old Tue Dec 20, 2011, 06:47pm
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Almost As Bad As Mr. What'shisname ...

Quote:
Originally Posted by RichMSN View Post
"I am Mr. So and So".
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hartsy View Post
I've worked with Mr. So and So, too!
So did I. Terrible. Reaches out from his primary coverage area all the time. I have to carry him every game.
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