Coaches....What can you say?

[Terrapins Fan]

I did 2 girls games this morning. The coach for the 8th grade team, her husband is a varsity coach for a girls team. I did their game Thursday night. This is the first time I have had one of here games since she left high school coaching 2 years ago. We have always gotten along.

Today, I go to her before the game a to break the ice and say " Coach if you are going to complain about my officiating, I am going to complain about your coaching" She jumps on me for calls that I made at her husband's game Thursday night. I called a push on his player in front of his bench. A good call. He complained loudly and several fans did as well. She tells me I called a terrible game and sited several plays, and she says " just as the fans behind the bench, they will tell you" I explained that the fans had no idea of the rules or how to enforce them. She was just angry. BTW, his team won by 42 points and used their subs a lot during the game. It was never close.

I could not believe she would behave like this. She lost this game by 20.

I don't really have a question, but I was thinking why would she want to make me angry at her? They won the game by 42, I had no influence on the game. Why not butter me up for this game? I don't get it. I always wanted the officials on my side before the game.

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by Terrapins Fan

Today, I go to her before the game a to break the ice and say " Coach if you are going to complain about my officiating, I am going to complain about your coaching" She jumps on me for calls that I made at her husband's game Thursday night.

I could not believe she would behave like this.

I don't really have a question, but I was thinking why would she want to make me angry at her? They won the game by 42, I had no influence on the game. Why not butter me up for this game? I don't get it. I always wanted the officials on my side before the game.

Are you serious, Turtle? Do you really expect coaches to butter you up before a game?

NEVER go and schmooze coaches before a game. Or during a game. Or after a game. Sucking around can never lead to anything that will end up being even remotely advantageous from an official's standpoint. As you found out above, it sureashell can lead to confrontation though. If you want to respond to a coach that wants to banter a little bit, fine, but do not ever initiate sessions like that.

You were directly responsible for that confrontation. If you keep away from the coach except for any info that must be passed along, you won't find yourself in situations like that.

Let the conversations come from the coaches...not vice-versa.

[Camron Rust]

Originally Posted by Terrapins Fan

I " Coach if you are going to complain about my officiating, I am going to complain about your coaching"

That is a statement I'd stay well away from....to many explosive possibilities.

[williebfree]

I agree w/ previous responses. Camron's quote of your initial attempt to make small talk explains much of why you had this confrontation and unpleasant game

DO NOT initiate pre-game "banter", even if you think you are familiar acquantences with the coach(es). This does not mean you have to be rude or discourteous, just avoid putting yourself in a position that can (and often times does) become contentious.

Chalk it up to a lesson learned, the hard way.

[JRutledge]

I will also agree that what you said to the coach would not be seen as appropriate in any way, unless you really knew that coach very, very well and they have went out of their way to give you credit for your ability. Other than that, leave those kinds of conversation alone. You are opening yourself (and you did) to the coach to overreact to what you have to say and the conversation might lead to more problems.

Peace

[BillyMac]

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

Never go and schmooze coaches before a game. Or during a game. Or after a game. Sucking around can never lead to anything that will end up being even remotely advantageous from an official's standpoint. If you want to respond to a coach that wants to banter a little bit, fine, but do not ever initiate sessions like that. Let the conversations come from the coaches, not vice-versa.

Rookie officials: Please take serious note of Jurassic Referee's comments.

Now's the time of year when we often see more than two head coaches in the gym, coaches scouting teams, getting ready for conference, or state, tournaments. When I see a coach in the gym, and if he's anywhere near me, I simply extend my hand for a handshake, and say, "Hello coach, nice to see you". Period. End of discussion.

[Terrapins Fan]

I do know her very well. I would say I have done 20 games for her and see her at all of her husbands games and we speak. This was the first time I officiated her game in 2 years.

Live and learn. Remember, I was a coach once also. 8 years as an offical and 11 years as a coach. I talked to all the officials when I coached and I never said a nasty word before the game and rarely ever after a game.

Thanks for the feed back.

[MadCityRef]

Originally Posted by Terrapins Fan

I do know her very well. I would say I have done 20 games for her and see her at all of her husbands games and we speak. This was the first time I officiated her game in 2 years.

Live and learn. Remember, I was a coach once also. 8 years as an offical and 11 years as a coach. I talked to all the officials when I coached and I never said a nasty word before the game and rarely ever after a game.

A coach wanting to chat me up before a game is very different than me initiating the conversation (which I don't.)

What she heard: "Hey 'coach', you and your hubby were a%%&&&&s last night. If you're one today -and I expect that you will-, I'll take GREAT satisfaction in T'ing you up and tossing you out!"

[BillyMac]

Originally Posted by Terrapins Fan

See her at all of her husbands games.

How many does she have ???

[grunewar]

Coaches....What can you say? A lot.

Coaches....What should you say? Very little.

[JugglingReferee]

You cannot misquote silence.

[Kelvin green]

Originally Posted by BillyMac

How many does she have ???

First you spelled the word wrong... it is Mormon,

Second to set the record straight the church banned polygamy in 1896

No difference than over the back, reaching or several other myths debunked on this board

[BillyMac]

Originally Posted by Kelvin green

First you spelled the word wrong... it is Mormon,
Second to set the record straight the church banned polygamy in 1896

The title of my post referred to the famous Broadway singer, Ethel Morman.



Aren't there still some Mormons that practice polygomy, however with multiple wives and one husband, rather than one wife and multiple husbands, as I was referring to in the post?

I believe that there's a Utahref on the NFHS forum? Maybe he, or one of his wives, can settle this debate?

[Kelvin green]

As previously mentioned the church banned polygamy in 1896.

There are splinter/fundamentalist groups that practice but it is illegal.

The Utah Constitution bans polygamy as well. It is a crimnal offense although not heavily prosecuted unless sex abuse of a minor involved..

[BillyMac]

Originally Posted by Kelvin green

As previously mentioned the church banned polygamy in 1896. The Utah Constitution bans polygamy as well. It is a crimnal offense although not heavily prosecuted unless sex abuse of a minor involved.

And it's illegal to travel faster than 65 mph in the State of Connecticut.