Should I have been the hard-***?

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by icallfouls

The officiating community is small and some of my best best friends are officials. In time, you might need this official to be an advocate for you, and all that person will remember is what a jerk you were about some off season game that didn't matter or will ever be remembered by anyone.

I doubt very seriously an official who carries himself in the manner described in the OP will be somebody you'll want or need as an advocate. It's best to choose your advocates very wisely.

I agree that confronting such a ref will probably not generate any positive results. Unless it is someone I am mentoring I don't see it as my place to try to correct or address another officials behavior directly.

But I see nothing wrong with apprising the assignor of the situation if you feel strongly enough that it is a problem that needs to be addressed. We all have the right to address to our bosses (so to speak) workplace environments that make us uncomfortable. The assignor might think it's no big deal or the assignor may address the issue or the assignor might take a few minutes one game to observe the situation for him/herself.