I Stink At Handling coaches

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally posted by cloverdale
a goal of mine this season is to try and have better communicatios with the coachs...they too put in alot of effort to teach our kids...if I have a coach that has been complaining about calls,not all calls all the time, at half I go over and allow him my "ear" ... most of the time I have found that it is usally one thing that has their concern...if it is justified I tell him I will look at it during the 2nd half...but I also allow the other coach his say...if it turns into a complaining session i'm gone. My partners tell me that i'm opening myself up to potential problems and have run into a buzzsaw once. I dont do this often but most coachs will calmly let you know thier concern...our association has given this a priority to better communicate with the coachs which forces us to improve our people skills and make us better officals.

I agree wholeheartedly with your partners.

Bad move. You're gonna pay for it some time.

[SeanFitzRef]

I've been at this for @ five years, and I've been told I do a pretty good job of dealing with coaches. My 'recipe for success', if you will:

1) Come in with a 'Have Fun' attitude. Not saying I come in clowning around, but that I enjoy being around basketball. This is a fun game, so let's keep it that way.

2) Solid pregame with partner(s) and coach/captains. Both of these meetings go a long way, because you can establish some form of communication with the coaches and show them that you aren't there to give them a hard time. One quick joke in the pregame can go a long way in the game in terms of approachability.

3) Hustle and flow. If I'm hustling to get to my spots, and the game is flowing smoothly, there is less time for coaches to complain because they need to coach their respective teams. If the game gets too physical, do what needs to be done to clean it up. The players determine the flow of the game, but they will adjust to the officials if the game is tight.

4) Don't be afraid to talk to the coaches. There was a philosophy that you shouldn't ever talk to coaches, but I am a former coach and I can understand the thought process of some coaches and what they are looking for in the game. Some coaches have NO thought process at all, so leave them alone.

5) Kill 'em with kindness. Be extra polite, stay as relaxed as possible, and address their concern, but don't give them more than 10-15 seconds. Anything more than that is asking for trouble. Visit the topic once, and only once. Only answer questions, not the complaining and whining.

6) Ignore 'em. Almost contradictory, but it's not. When they start to 'sideline ref': 3 Seconds!, traveling!, And one!!, that's a foul!, etc. Just ignore them like you ignore the fans. They are only looking for an advantage for their team, while my job is to manage the game.

7) Don't overexplain! This is the Golden Rule, to me. If you think you spent too much time discussing a situation, you did. Don't try and explain advantage/disadvantage, how you choose to call 3 seconds, why this play is a handcheck but that one isn't, because they won't understand. Their player #15 might have given 3 kids concussions, but s/he is just 'playing hard', but if opponent #23 is within 3 feet of their players, you hear "Get 'em off!"

[Junker]

I used to occasionally tell a coach something before they would ask. It was a bad habit that I have broken. A good tip is to not initiate conversations with a coach. Let them come to you. I agreed with the partners in a previous post. Don't go looking for trouble.

[mcdanrd]

[b[One quick joke in the pregame can go a long way in the game in terms of approachability[/b]

Do you have a standard list of jokes that you use and have found to work? An officiating buddy likes to tell the girls in the pregame "if you dunk the ball don't hang on the rim." I tried that in my last game and it went over real well. The season following 9/11 I explained that I was not Osama Bin Laden so i was not the enemy. The next season changed from Osama to Sadaam Hussein. Those seemed to work too.

[Ref Daddy]

Had a partner last week as the captains " So you've all read the rules books cover to cover I'm sure - right?"

Good laugh ensued

[bgtg19]

There is a lot of valuable advice in this thread. Here are some observations, many of which reinforce previous observations:

1 - Handling coaches is *really* important to becoming an excellent official. The fact that this question was asked, and that so many are reading and contributing, is a good thing.

2 - As a general rule, varsity coaches are easier to deal with than Fresh/JV coaches. I say that as a way to encourage newer officials who are dealing with difficult sub-varsity coaches. Not only will you get better, but the people you deal with will often be less frustrating. There is hope! (By the way, varsity coaches also tend to know the rules much better than sub-varsity coaches. By "easier," I do NOT mean to suggest that you can snow varsity coaches. They expect and demand competence ... as they should.)

3 - I agree that your level of visible confidence and competence plays a role here. Each of us needs to continue to get better, and we need to exude professional competence and confidence. That makes dealing with coaches easier.

4 - Never think that you'll win a coach over through reason (during a game). I made this mistake early in my career. A coach questioned my call. I thought that by explaining fully my point of view, and by connecting my point of view with the text of the rules, a coach would be brought to the point of saying: "Ah, yes. You are a wise and good official. Now that I have had that explained to me, I can continue in this game with confidence in your expertise." It never happened. It never will. Provide a brief/sound bite explanation/comment/answer and then be gone.

5 - A technical foul is an important and valuable tool for dealing with coaches. As a young official, I rarely, rarely called a T. I was of the mindset that virtually nothing anyone said bothered me, so just ignore it. What I perceived as my tough skin was perceived by assignors, athletic directors and some coaches as weakness. I have converted to the view that a T is just like any other foul/infraction. I do not view a traveling violation as a personal affront -- I just call it when and if I see it. Why view the technical foul on the coach a different way? When and if I see behavior that crosses the line, I simply call it. That's my job. People now view me as a stronger, more assertive official. It is a "perception," as I simply see myself as a better and more consistent official.

6 - I wholeheartedly agree with others that we each have to find methods that are genuine to our distinct personality.

7 - Because people are so different, and none of us is perfect, the art of handling coaches is one for which all of us can and should be attempting to getter better.

Best wishes to all!