|
Handling coaches has been one of my weakest areas, but I"m getting better. Here are some things that have worked for me.
1. Let the coach know you hear her. It's hard to believe, but a simple "I hear you caoch" can make a big difference.
2. Give a reasonable answer to a reasonable question.
3. Don't "threaten" a coach. "If you do that one more time..." "Not one more word..." are both absolutely not manageable.
4. I've developed a sort of a-b-c-d process in my own mind.
a. I hear you
b. Coach, I"m watching it
c. I've heard enough
d. whack!!
5. Don't argue. If the coach is mis-quoting a rule, you can say, "No the rule is legal guarding position." or "she pushed from behind which is illegal." If the coach contradicts that, you can sometimes say, "Coach, hand-checking is rule 10-6." or "Read the travelling section of Rule 4." You might also say, "I'll watch next time."
6. Sometimes unexpectedly agreeing with a coach helps a lot. "Ref, she was moving!!" "Yes, coach, she was." He's baffled because you've said he was right, yet you're not giving him what he wants. If he doesn't get the message in the bigger picture, move on to point b above.
7. Never lose your temper. This is where I fall down. Once you're angry, you've lost control. If you start to feel this, take a second to talk yourself through it.
8. Don't use sassy comebacks unless you're absolutely sure you can get away with it. If in doubt, err on the side of don't.
9. Try to stay pro-active.
A good pre-game conference with the coaches helps.
Try to talk them down. "Coach, please remember the box." "We're gonna call that one all night long."
If that doesn't work, warn well before you lose your temper. "Coach I've heard enough."
Do a great job.
10. admit it you're wrong. If you really blew it, say so.
11. Sometimes, you can "win" by "losing". I do this in this way. If the coach wants to argue about a rule, and I"m sure I'm right, I say, "Coach, I have my weaknesses as a ref, but rules are my greatest strength." He's still thinking about me admitting to weaknesses while I'm going on with the game.
12. Keep learning. Each coach is a different person. Each one will need slightly different treatment. Learn to be flexible and to adjust to each one. That way you're also giving respect and dignity to the caoch, and that's always a good thing.
|