I let my partner down.

[Welpe]

I can't relive this again. The FB group is going to give me a stroke.

I said a lot on there but I will say this, I passed on a T in a similar circumstance (though it would've been the first) and I've regretted it to this day.

[Rob1968]

What your partner does'nt know will not haunt him/her. Perhaps your feelings of regret are best overcome by resolving to learn from that instance, and adjust your determination to handle such a case differently, in the future. That is the way we go through life -

circumstance -- re-action -- evaluation -- adjustment -- commitment --
new circumstance -- new re-action -- evaluation --

and on it goes. There is great satisfaction in experiencing a more favorable outcome the second time. Don't be so hard on yourself.

A couple years ago someone on this forum told me that the only techs you remember are the ones you regret calling. I took this to heart and called a shit ton of techs that year. I've calmed down somewhat but there are still a couple from this year that are nagging at me.

[Rich]

I've been on the court for 4 head coach technicals this season. I've called one myself. Two of the other ones were called by partners who were in a better position than me to call them, but they were well deserved. The fourth may not have happened if the places on the floor were switched and I was in front of the coach, but the coach pushed a partner's button just the right way and paid for it.

A friend who also officiates simply can't understand that -- he's called one in 15 years. Thinks it's all so unnecessary. Wonders how our games are different than his.

The response from one of my regular partners was just perfect:

"No different than any other game. We just don't put up with bullshit."

(That said, I hadn't called one in 3 years before the one I called earlier this season. I don't run out there looking for them, but I don't miss too many, either.)

[jeremy341a]

Originally Posted by Rob1968

What your partner does'nt know will not haunt him/her. Perhaps your feelings of regret are best overcome by resolving to learn from that instance, and adjust your determination to handle such a case differently, in the future. That is the way we go through life -

circumstance -- re-action -- evaluation -- adjustment -- commitment --
new circumstance -- new re-action -- evaluation --

and on it goes. There is great satisfaction in experiencing a more favorable outcome the second time. Don't be so hard on yourself.

I told him and apologized after the game.

[Rob1968]

Originally Posted by jeremy341a

I told him and apologized after the game.

Well done!

[buffafox]

I had a situation like this where I gave the coach the benefit of the doubt. If i see a coach that I officiated before, I will always say it's nice to see you again and it seems to lighten the mood. However, my partner, who is a really nice guy, was having some difficulty making and defending his calls. Even I was surprised by some of them.

This coach started getting really upset and in order to try and diffuse the situation, I would force switches and worked on calming him down. Well, eventually I had to give him a warning. He was cussing and calling my partner every name in the book. I could have T'd him up right there but I held off.

My partner made another call and this coach walked on the floor. I knew my partner was going to T him up. He called it, and I immediately gave him the ball to administer the technical and I went to this coach and told him I warned him. He was still yelling at me and my partner for the next game said for me to toss him, which I didn't.

I don't regret not calling a technical or tossing him. I was actually praised by my elevator who I didn't know was there in how I handled the situation. I feel bad that i didn't defend my partner more but I made sure I supported him, even if there were some bad calls.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by buffafox

I had a situation like this where I gave the coach the benefit of the doubt. If i see a coach that I officiated before, I will always say it's nice to see you again and it seems to lighten the mood. However, my partner, who is a really nice guy, was having some difficulty making and defending his calls. Even I was surprised by some of them.

This coach started getting really upset and in order to try and diffuse the situation, I would force switches and worked on calming him down. Well, eventually I had to give him a warning. He was cussing and calling my partner every name in the book. I could have T'd him up right there but I held off.

My partner made another call and this coach walked on the floor. I knew my partner was going to T him up. He called it, and I immediately gave him the ball to administer the technical and I went to this coach and told him I warned him. He was still yelling at me and my partner for the next game said for me to toss him, which I didn't.

I don't regret not calling a technical or tossing him. I was actually praised by my elevator who I didn't know was there in how I handled the situation. I feel bad that i didn't defend my partner more but I made sure I supported him, even if there were some bad calls.

The coach was cursing your partner out, in your ear, and you didn't call the T?

OK

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by buffafox

I was actually praised by my elevator

So you knew the right buttons to push?

[VaTerp]

Originally Posted by buffafox

I had a situation like this where I gave the coach the benefit of the doubt. If i see a coach that I officiated before, I will always say it's nice to see you again and it seems to lighten the mood. However, my partner, who is a really nice guy, was having some difficulty making and defending his calls. Even I was surprised by some of them.

This coach started getting really upset and in order to try and diffuse the situation, I would force switches and worked on calming him down. Well, eventually I had to give him a warning. He was cussing and calling my partner every name in the book. I could have T'd him up right there but I held off.

My partner made another call and this coach walked on the floor. I knew my partner was going to T him up. He called it, and I immediately gave him the ball to administer the technical and I went to this coach and told him I warned him. He was still yelling at me and my partner for the next game said for me to toss him, which I didn't.

I don't regret not calling a technical or tossing him. I was actually praised by my elevator who I didn't know was there in how I handled the situation. I feel bad that i didn't defend my partner more but I made sure I supported him, even if there were some bad calls.

I may be in the minority here but a coaches singular comment from the OP of "you and your partner should have worked this by yourselves" would not necessarily be an automatic T for me. Depending on the game/coach/partner I may ignore it or simply say something like, "coach we're not going to do that."

However, if a coach is cursing a partner in your ear and "calling him every name in the book" then I think you really have to address and penalize such behavior.

And I pre-game that when we stick a coach, we all need to get and stay away in that moment. Nothing good comes out of talking to a coach in that situation IMO. If you warned him he already knows that. He also knows he has lost his box. I've seen other officials going to chat with a coach after a partner has stuck him and it further escalate the situation resulting in, IMO, quick avoidable ejections or the appearance that the non calling official is the shoulder to cry/lean on. Again, IMO nothing good comes from going over to talk to a coach after a partner Ts him.

[jeremy341a]

Originally Posted by Welpe

I can't relive this again. The FB group is going to give me a stroke.

There are many conversations on there that amaze me. I bet I've read "he wasn't set" on there 100 times this month.