To Another Player: "You F***ing Suck."

[Rooster]

High school club teams. Team A was up by 20 points in the first half and Team B had no chance in this game. They were completely outclassed. According to one of my partners A1 was a dbag in a previous game and got a T. During our game he maintained our attention as a problem child but nothing past the point of just being on our radar. I had called a foul on him earlier and he tried the stare-down thing, which I ignored with a 1000 yard stare in another direction. Fast forward to a play to the basket and A1 makes a layup with a bit of contact, on which I pass. B1 says something chippy and A1, doing a backward skippy kind of trot says to B1, "You ain't nothing. You f***ing suck." as we were going up the court. Tweet, flagrant T. Partners don't like it as a flagrant AT ALL. The bigger dog on the game has college experience and ripped me thusly:
"You don't go with a flagrant there. You try that bulls**t in college and you'll have your games taken away or even get fired. That's just bad."
Smaller dog: "A1's team had travelled two hours to be here. They paid to be here. Let him hang himself and we'll run him with his second T."
etc, etc.

Evidently it was a big deal for running a kid for saying what he did. I would like to get a few other opinions about what is and is not a flagrant T.

Background: I am going to my first JC tryout camp this summer. I'm not a young pup but somewhat new to the officiating corps (with five years experience) and have nextlevelitis. I must admit, this shook my confidence in my judgement. I thought it was an easy one because the next steps would have resulted in a fight. I know there are no shortcuts but I'd like to learn the differences between junior college basketball players and coaches and the HS level so I'm not a doormat and then criticized for having no backbone.

Thoughts?