"Player-Parent-Coach Relationship" Article

[dacodee]

Hello,

I came across this article and found it to be interesting and very true. What has happened to high school sports? I see parents upset with coaches (not to mention, officials) and they make fools out of themselves when "Little Johnny" sits the bench. I guess this may help explain why parents continue to act like fools when a foul is called against their kid.

http://www.mcall.com/sports/all-s-gr....column?page=1

[JugglingReferee]

The article mentions a few incidents from around the US. Here are some links that discuss those articles:

Dana Wieller and Liberty: http://www.mcall.com/sports/highscho...,7133206.story

Ken Shankweiler Salisbury: http://www.lehighvalleylive.com/beth...640.xml&coll=3 and http://www.lehighvalleylive.com/beth...wn_estima.html

Loved the article! Thanks.

[grunewar]

First, good article. Thanks for sharing. As someone who grew up in the ABE area it was good to see "The Morning Call" again.

I can sympathize with:

"It starts with many parents coaching their own kids as they grow up in youth leagues and on travel teams. The entire industry of youth sports has become big business with parents shelling out hundreds or thousands of dollars to have their kids go to the very best camps and clinics and play in AAU-styled events. Kids no longer play solely on their own community teams in the offseason; they're traveling up and down the East Coast and beyond.

Forget fun-in-the-summer, family vacations. Many parents use their vacation time to watch their children play in these mega events, and it's not just basketball -- it's softball, field hockey, volleyball, you name it."

As a parent, coach and ref, I have seen much of this over the yrs and it isn't going to get better anytime soon. Too much $ involved. With parents, schools and owners willing to coddle to spoiled brats like AI, TO, or Ocho Cinco......and their being little real repercussion for their actions, who knows where this all ends.....if it does.

Many of us probably see this almost every day.

[CMHCoachNRef]

From the article: "When an organization called the Lehigh Valley Coalition on Sports Ethics brought in top-notch speakers and held forums on the parent-coach subject, attendance was poor."

''The other guy has a problem, not me,'' is the thinking most parents have.

To confirm this point, at my annual Parents Meeting (back when I coached), I would ask two questions:
1. How many of you think that at least one player will smoke and/or drink alcohol during the season?
2. How many of you think that it will be your son?

Virtually all parents raised their hands in response to the first question. I rarely ever had a parent raise a hand in response to the second. Of course, these two questions provided a perfect lead in to the topic of drug/alcohol abuse.

Parents feel the same way about "out of line parents" complaining to coaches and ADs (and referees). Their complaining is always reasonable, it the other parents who cross the line.

[Ignats75]

In Ohio, the HS coaches are limited in the off season to 10 days of coaching, and that includes any games!!!! The vaccuum has been filled by the AAU and too many of the AAU coaches are limited in ability and many have hidden agendas. They sell the parents on the possibility of sschollies if little Mary plays in their program and most of these girls have no shot at a one. I know. My daughter was a 2 time all state player and only got an NAIA schollie. I see some of these kids and listen to their parents and just laugh inside. Most have a sliver of my daughter's talent and every time I call a foul the parents act like I am jeopardizing their darling daughter's (or son's) future. The parents spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars on travel basketball and in most cases its a waste of money.

I am using the article as a chance to write a letter to the District governor of the OHSAA about their antiquated rules. I had a 10 mintute conversation this week with the AD at my younger daughter's school and he agreed with everything I said. Its funny that then this came up.

[CMHCoachNRef]

Originally Posted by Ignats75

In Ohio, the HS coaches are limited in the off season to 10 days of coaching, and that includes any games!!!! The vaccuum has been filled by the AAU and too many of the AAU coaches are limited in ability and many have hidden agendas. They sell the parents on the possibility of sschollies if little Mary plays in their program and most of these girls have no shot at a one. I know. My daughter was a 2 time all state player and only got an NAIA schollie. I see some of these kids and listen to their parents and just laugh inside. Most have a sliver of my daughter's talent and every time I call a foul the parents act like I am jeopardizing their darling daughter's (or son's) future. The parents spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars on travel basketball and in most cases its a waste of money.

I am using the article as a chance to write a letter to the District governor of the OHSAA about their antiquated rules. I had a 10 mintute conversation this week with the AD at my younger daughter's school and he agreed with everything I said. Its funny that then this came up.

I agree with you, for the most part. While Ohio's 10-Day Rule may have been a good idea 15 - 20 years ago, it is not anymore. Kids play 50+ soccer game outside the HS season of 20 - 25 games. Kids play baseball for 50+ Legion games in the Summer in addition to the 25 - 30 game HS season. The "real" basketball season starts the week after the HS season ends. Kids then play 7, 8, 9 or 10 tournaments (21 - 50+ games) between March 15th and June 15th. Most kids then return to their coaches for several shootouts in the Summer with their HS coaches.

Some AAU coaches are very good. MANY have their own agendas. Many are in it for the wrong reasons. Unfortunately, the HS coaches are required to be out of the picture all Spring and much of the Summer.

Why? Because the OHSAA does not want to "force" the kids to play in the offseason. The thinking is that if the coach is involved, the kids will feel obligated to play. Once again, the concept was probably reasonable years ago. Now, the top players are playing constantly. I think that letting the players play for HS coaches would make much more sense since many of the players ARE playing almost all year round.

There is no perfect answer, but the bucks being charged for off-season play is getting out of hand.

[Chess Ref]

Originally Posted by CMHCoachNRef

From the article: "When an organization called the Lehigh Valley Coalition on Sports Ethics brought in top-notch speakers and held forums on the parent-coach subject, attendance was poor."

''The other guy has a problem, not me,'' is the thinking most parents have.

To confirm this point, at my annual Parents Meeting (back when I coached), I would ask two questions:
1. How many of you think that at least one player will smoke and/or drink alcohol during the season?
2. How many of you think that it will be your son?

Virtually all parents raised their hands in response to the first question. I rarely ever had a parent raise a hand in response to the second. Of course, these two questions provided a perfect lead in to the topic of drug/alcohol abuse.

Parents feel the same way about "out of line parents" complaining to coaches and ADs (and referees). Their complaining is always reasonable, it the other parents who cross the line.

Denial is such a pretty thing. Or is it just the way humans are.

I'm beginning to see it as theatre of the absurd.