To Another Player: "You F***ing Suck."

[j51969]

Originally Posted by Rooster

High school club teams. Team A was up by 20 points in the first half and Team B had no chance in this game. They were completely outclassed. According to one of my partners A1 was a dbag in a previous game and got a T. During our game he maintained our attention as a problem child but nothing past the point of just being on our radar. I had called a foul on him earlier and he tried the stare-down thing, which I ignored with a 1000 yard stare in another direction. Fast forward to a play to the basket and A1 makes a layup with a bit of contact, on which I pass. B1 says something chippy and A1, doing a backward skippy kind of trot says to B1, "You ain't nothing. You f***ing suck." as we were going up the court. Tweet, flagrant T. Partners don't like it as a flagrant AT ALL. The bigger dog on the game has college experience and ripped me thusly:
"You don't go with a flagrant there. You try that bulls**t in college and you'll have your games taken away or even get fired. That's just bad." Smaller dog: "A1's team had travelled two hours to be here. They paid to be here. Let him hang himself and we'll run him with his second T."
etc, etc.

Evidently it was a big deal for running a kid for saying what he did. I would like to get a few other opinions about what is and is not a flagrant T.

Background: I am going to my first JC tryout camp this summer. I'm not a young pup but somewhat new to the officiating corps (with five years experience) and have nextlevelitis. I must admit, this shook my confidence in my judgement. I thought it was an easy one because the next steps would have resulted in a fight. I know there are no shortcuts but I'd like to learn the differences between junior college basketball players and coaches and the HS level so I'm not a doormat and then criticized for having no backbone.

Thoughts?

Like others have said the advice you recieved seems sound. However, if Mr. Big dog came at me with this precieved attitude it makes him no better than the a-hole you bounced. A bully is a bully. Opportunities to learn are just that, and if he thinks himself a mentor he loses me immediately.

Originally Posted by j51969

Like others have said the advice you recieved seems sound. However, if Mr. Big dog came at me with this precieved attitude it makes him no better than the a-hole you bounced. A bully is a bully. Opportunities to learn are just that, and if he thinks himself a mentor he loses me immediately.

I had a game this year where one of my partners learned I was interested in working a college league that he used to work 3-4 years ago. He took it upon himself to "correct" several mechanical things that I did after the game. He said "if you want to work this league, you need to do things this way". The whole time I was thinking "who the hell are you to instruct me??" I smiled, said ok, and moved on.

[Camron Rust]

Originally Posted by AremRed

I had a game this year where one of my partners learned I was interested in working a college league that he used to work 3-4 years ago. He took it upon himself to "correct" several mechanical things that I did after the game. He said "if you want to work this league, you need to do things this way". The whole time I was thinking "who the hell are you to instruct me??" I smiled, said ok, and moved on.

Even if he wasn't entirely correct, he may have been well intentioned and ust wanted to see you succeed. If you listen to him, he just might have the one thing that makes the difference in you getting in...or he might not. But considering it is harmless at worst. In my experience, I've seen far more officials lie (overly positive) about how you did than be honest and try to help each other. Why not thank him for the heads up.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by AremRed

I had a game this year where one of my partners learned I was interested in working a college league that he used to work 3-4 years ago. He took it upon himself to "correct" several mechanical things that I did after the game. He said "if you want to work this league, you need to do things this way". The whole time I was thinking "who the hell are you to instruct me??" I smiled, said ok, and moved on.

Officiating is like life, you pick up "pennies." That does not mean that everything he told you was on point, but if you take one or two things away from what he told you, you might have been better for it. But it sounds like your ego was more worried about what he wasn't and you probably missed a slight blessing. This is why attitude is sometimes everything. Take the wrong attitude you miss out on the right help.

Peace

[APG]

Originally Posted by AremRed

I had a game this year where one of my partners learned I was interested in working a college league that he used to work 3-4 years ago. He took it upon himself to "correct" several mechanical things that I did after the game. He said "if you want to work this league, you need to do things this way". The whole time I was thinking "who the hell are you to instruct me??" I smiled, said ok, and moved on.

Unless there's more to the story, I don't see anything malicious here on your partner's part.

Originally Posted by JRutledge

Officiating is like life, you pick up "pennies." That does not mean that everything he told you was on point, but if you take one or two things away from what he told you, you might have been better for it. But it sounds like your ego was more worried about what he wasn't and you probably missed a slight blessing. This is why attitude is sometimes everything. Take the wrong attitude you miss out on the right help.

Originally Posted by APG

Unless there's more to the story, I don't see anything malicious here on your partner's part.

The problem was his superior attitude. I know who to ask for advice, and when I ask I listen. I don't listen very often to unsolicited advice, cuz it's usually crap. And his was.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by AremRed

The problem was his superior attitude. I know who to ask for advice, and when I ask I listen. I don't listen very often to unsolicited advice, cuz it's usually crap. And his was.

Do you now work for the supervisor in question and have found the unsolicited advice to be inaccurate?

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by AremRed

I had a game this year where one of my partners learned I was interested in working a college league that he used to work 3-4 years ago. He took it upon himself to "correct" several mechanical things that I did after the game. He said "if you want to work this league, you need to do things this way". The whole time I was thinking "who the hell are you to instruct me??" I smiled, said ok, and moved on.

"If you want to work this league" doesn't sound "instuctional", sounds "informational"; and it's something you'll hear directly from supervisors also.

I'd rather hear it before I get in front of a supervisor, not after I get in front of a supervisor.


My personal motto: "If I suck, please be candid and tell me. If I'm good, please tell a supervisor"