Dating a relative of a coach.

[johnny d]

Originally Posted by MD Longhorn

someone will perceive that I was not impartial (in one direction or the other ... or both.)

Who is this someone, fans, opposing coach, assignor, players? There is really only one person on this list whose opinion we should even be concerned about and if your assignor doesn't know you well enough or trust your integrity to work the game fairly than you have bigger problems than who your girlfriend is related to.

[SCalScoreKeeper]

I wouldn't take the game. I just completed my first season of volleyball & only blocked 1 team-my best friend happened to be the coach of that team and I was worried about the appearance of impropriety.

[MD Longhorn]

Originally Posted by johnny d

Who is this someone, fans, opposing coach, assignor, players? There is really only one person on this list whose opinion we should even be concerned about and if your assignor doesn't know you well enough or trust your integrity to work the game fairly than you have bigger problems than who your girlfriend is related to.

Any of the above. If you don't see the perceptional issue here, I can't help you see it. It's not about integrity --- perception DOES matter.

Put it this way. We all miss calls, right. What happens if you do a game in this situation - and you happen to miss one in favor of the girlfriend's cousin. And it's caught on video. Or heaven forbid TWO calls - both in favor of the same team.

"How can he miss that - it was obvious! The only explanation is that he didn't call it because of the cousin." And your assignor has no leg to stand on (or worse yet ... begins to question your integrity!)

[BillyMac]

Give the assignment back.

I've been retired from teaching, and coaching, in my hometown school system for about ten years. All three of my children attended my hometown high school, and participated in sports, while in attendance.

After ten years of blocking out all home, and away, games, all levels, boys, and girls, involving this high school, this is the first year that I felt comfortable not blocking it out. But after not blocking it out, I did tell my assigner to do what he thought was appropriate, and best for all involved.

[BEAREF]

Personally I wouldn't worry about it.

There are so many different ways for us to have "conflicts of interest" that if we took them all into account we wouldn't work any games.

[JRutledge]

I will just say this. I am not giving back the assignment. Not happening. This was not a regular season game. This was a shootout-tournament of some kind where the teams were not determined until recently. I am not giving back the assignment. I might change, move around, but I am not giving back the assignment. Not happening!!!

Peace

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I am not giving back the assignment.

Good decision. I know that you are a very experienced official having worked many levels and many different sports, including high school state finals. I think that a man with your reputation should have no problem with this very small conflict of interest. It shouldn't even be a question.

[Scratch85]

Have you considered breaking up with your girlfriend?

[Andy]

I lean toward "avoid the appearance of a conflict" group.

I will relate a personal experience:

Several years ago, my younger sister was the JV Girls basketball coach at a school in the area. She also sat on the bench for Varsity games as an assistant.

I did not block that school because I had NEVER been assigned one of their games. So what happens...I get a Varsity Girls assignment with her school visiting another school. At that point in my career, I wasn't getting many Varsity assignments, so I chose not to turn it back. I told my partner about it, so he was aware of the situation.

I worked the game with no issues, but certainly didn't feel very comfortable doing it and did catch myself worrying about it at times during the game. One of the things that worked in my favor was that my sister's team was so bad, it really wouldn't matter what I did or didn't do.

Looking back at the situation now, I know that I would not hesitate to turn that game back.

[MD Longhorn]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I will just say this. I am not giving back the assignment. Not happening. This was not a regular season game. This was a shootout-tournament of some kind where the teams were not determined until recently. I am not giving back the assignment. I might change, move around, but I am not giving back the assignment. Not happening!!!

Peace

OK.

So why did you ask?

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by MD Longhorn

OK.

So why did you ask?

I was asking for opinions on what people think about the situation. I did not say I would not be willing to change the time or the game I worked, I am just not giving it back on my own. Something even tells me that the assignor is not going to see this as a big deal either. There are other games that day and before or after so something could be done if this is a problem to certain people.

Peace

[just another ref]

It never would have crossed my mind to give a game back for something like this. Like most things, this apparently is viewed differently around here. It's 120 miles from one end of our association to the other, with mostly small rural schools involved. Therefore some consideration is given to travel distance when assigning the games. Last varsity game I called was a mile from my house. The head boys coach is on a short list of people that I've known for almost 50 years. We went all through school together. Most of the other coaches know this by now. If they have a problem with it, it's their problem, not mine, and it's never been mentioned to me. The problem I have is the opposite. The people I know best are the ones who complain the loudest, saying that I overcompensate and call against them.

[bainsey]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I will just say this. I am not giving back the assignment. Not happening. This was not a regular season game. This was a shootout-tournament of some kind where the teams were not determined until recently. I am not giving back the assignment.

So essentially, it's a pre-season game.

Last year, I had a JV-G preseason game at my son's high school, his senior year. My partner lived in town. The varsity crew consisted of a teacher at that school, the assistant principal of that school, and an assistant superintendent of the school district. That's fine, as it's pre-season.

No way that would -- or should -- happen in a regular season or postseason game. And I'd block the team on Arbiter if I had such a relationship as JRut mentions. There are plenty of other schools. You can sacrifice one.

[BillyMac]

Originally Posted by bainsey

So essentially, it's a pre-season game.

I didn't realize this. If it's a preseason game, I would work the game even if my own kids were playing.

[walt]

i would talk it over with your assignor and maybe asked to switch someone else working the tournament. Perception will become your reality so why risk a perceived conflict/favoritism allegation. If they can't switch you, I would give turn it back. You have spent a long time building a rep, why risk it over one game no matter what the level?