Dating a relative of a coach.

[MD Longhorn]

I would explain to your scheduler - and unless no other option was available, I'd not work the game. I KNOW I can be impartial. However, I also know that even if I am impartial - if it's known that I am dating a coach's cousin - no matter how that game goes, someone will perceive that I was not impartial (in one direction or the other ... or both.)

[johnny d]

Originally Posted by MD Longhorn

someone will perceive that I was not impartial (in one direction or the other ... or both.)

Who is this someone, fans, opposing coach, assignor, players? There is really only one person on this list whose opinion we should even be concerned about and if your assignor doesn't know you well enough or trust your integrity to work the game fairly than you have bigger problems than who your girlfriend is related to.

[SCalScoreKeeper]

I wouldn't take the game. I just completed my first season of volleyball & only blocked 1 team-my best friend happened to be the coach of that team and I was worried about the appearance of impropriety.

[MD Longhorn]

Originally Posted by johnny d

Who is this someone, fans, opposing coach, assignor, players? There is really only one person on this list whose opinion we should even be concerned about and if your assignor doesn't know you well enough or trust your integrity to work the game fairly than you have bigger problems than who your girlfriend is related to.

Any of the above. If you don't see the perceptional issue here, I can't help you see it. It's not about integrity --- perception DOES matter.

Put it this way. We all miss calls, right. What happens if you do a game in this situation - and you happen to miss one in favor of the girlfriend's cousin. And it's caught on video. Or heaven forbid TWO calls - both in favor of the same team.

"How can he miss that - it was obvious! The only explanation is that he didn't call it because of the cousin." And your assignor has no leg to stand on (or worse yet ... begins to question your integrity!)

[BillyMac]

Give the assignment back.

I've been retired from teaching, and coaching, in my hometown school system for about ten years. All three of my children attended my hometown high school, and participated in sports, while in attendance.

After ten years of blocking out all home, and away, games, all levels, boys, and girls, involving this high school, this is the first year that I felt comfortable not blocking it out. But after not blocking it out, I did tell my assigner to do what he thought was appropriate, and best for all involved.

[BEAREF]

Personally I wouldn't worry about it.

There are so many different ways for us to have "conflicts of interest" that if we took them all into account we wouldn't work any games.

[JRutledge]

I will just say this. I am not giving back the assignment. Not happening. This was not a regular season game. This was a shootout-tournament of some kind where the teams were not determined until recently. I am not giving back the assignment. I might change, move around, but I am not giving back the assignment. Not happening!!!

Peace

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I am not giving back the assignment.

Good decision. I know that you are a very experienced official having worked many levels and many different sports, including high school state finals. I think that a man with your reputation should have no problem with this very small conflict of interest. It shouldn't even be a question.

[Scratch85]

Have you considered breaking up with your girlfriend?

[MD Longhorn]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I will just say this. I am not giving back the assignment. Not happening. This was not a regular season game. This was a shootout-tournament of some kind where the teams were not determined until recently. I am not giving back the assignment. I might change, move around, but I am not giving back the assignment. Not happening!!!

Peace

OK.

So why did you ask?

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by MD Longhorn

OK.

So why did you ask?

I was asking for opinions on what people think about the situation. I did not say I would not be willing to change the time or the game I worked, I am just not giving it back on my own. Something even tells me that the assignor is not going to see this as a big deal either. There are other games that day and before or after so something could be done if this is a problem to certain people.

Peace

[bainsey]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I will just say this. I am not giving back the assignment. Not happening. This was not a regular season game. This was a shootout-tournament of some kind where the teams were not determined until recently. I am not giving back the assignment.

So essentially, it's a pre-season game.

Last year, I had a JV-G preseason game at my son's high school, his senior year. My partner lived in town. The varsity crew consisted of a teacher at that school, the assistant principal of that school, and an assistant superintendent of the school district. That's fine, as it's pre-season.

No way that would -- or should -- happen in a regular season or postseason game. And I'd block the team on Arbiter if I had such a relationship as JRut mentions. There are plenty of other schools. You can sacrifice one.

[BillyMac]

Originally Posted by bainsey

So essentially, it's a pre-season game.

I didn't realize this. If it's a preseason game, I would work the game even if my own kids were playing.

[Freddy]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I will just say this. I am not giving back the assignment. Not happening. This was not a regular season game. This was a shootout-tournament of some kind where the teams were not determined until recently. I am not giving back the assignment. I might change, move around, but I am not giving back the assignment. Not happening!!!

Peace

Thank you for the sincerity of seeking our input.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Freddy

Thank you for the sincerity of seeking our input.

I was really trying to see if others were in a similar situation. That does not mean I needed input to make a final decision.

Peace