Dating a relative of a coach.

[JRutledge]

I will just say this. I am not giving back the assignment. Not happening. This was not a regular season game. This was a shootout-tournament of some kind where the teams were not determined until recently. I am not giving back the assignment. I might change, move around, but I am not giving back the assignment. Not happening!!!

Peace

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I am not giving back the assignment.

Good decision. I know that you are a very experienced official having worked many levels and many different sports, including high school state finals. I think that a man with your reputation should have no problem with this very small conflict of interest. It shouldn't even be a question.

[Scratch85]

Have you considered breaking up with your girlfriend?

[Andy]

I lean toward "avoid the appearance of a conflict" group.

I will relate a personal experience:

Several years ago, my younger sister was the JV Girls basketball coach at a school in the area. She also sat on the bench for Varsity games as an assistant.

I did not block that school because I had NEVER been assigned one of their games. So what happens...I get a Varsity Girls assignment with her school visiting another school. At that point in my career, I wasn't getting many Varsity assignments, so I chose not to turn it back. I told my partner about it, so he was aware of the situation.

I worked the game with no issues, but certainly didn't feel very comfortable doing it and did catch myself worrying about it at times during the game. One of the things that worked in my favor was that my sister's team was so bad, it really wouldn't matter what I did or didn't do.

Looking back at the situation now, I know that I would not hesitate to turn that game back.

[MD Longhorn]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I will just say this. I am not giving back the assignment. Not happening. This was not a regular season game. This was a shootout-tournament of some kind where the teams were not determined until recently. I am not giving back the assignment. I might change, move around, but I am not giving back the assignment. Not happening!!!

Peace

OK.

So why did you ask?

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by MD Longhorn

OK.

So why did you ask?

I was asking for opinions on what people think about the situation. I did not say I would not be willing to change the time or the game I worked, I am just not giving it back on my own. Something even tells me that the assignor is not going to see this as a big deal either. There are other games that day and before or after so something could be done if this is a problem to certain people.

Peace

[just another ref]

It never would have crossed my mind to give a game back for something like this. Like most things, this apparently is viewed differently around here. It's 120 miles from one end of our association to the other, with mostly small rural schools involved. Therefore some consideration is given to travel distance when assigning the games. Last varsity game I called was a mile from my house. The head boys coach is on a short list of people that I've known for almost 50 years. We went all through school together. Most of the other coaches know this by now. If they have a problem with it, it's their problem, not mine, and it's never been mentioned to me. The problem I have is the opposite. The people I know best are the ones who complain the loudest, saying that I overcompensate and call against them.

[frezer11]

I don't think its an issue in this situation, but I do know one thing: You better not cheat on her between now and the game!!

[just another ref]

Originally Posted by just another ref

Last varsity game I called was a mile from my house. The head boys coach is on a short list of people that I've known for almost 50 years. We went all through school together. Most of the other coaches know this by now. If they have a problem with it, it's their problem, not mine, and it's never been mentioned to me. The problem I have is the opposite. The people I know best are the ones who complain the loudest, saying that I overcompensate and call against them.

Ran into the visiting coach from that game tonight at a tournament. We talked for a bit. I asked if he was aware that I went to school with the local coach, and if he considered it an issue. He said no and no.

[bainsey]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I will just say this. I am not giving back the assignment. Not happening. This was not a regular season game. This was a shootout-tournament of some kind where the teams were not determined until recently. I am not giving back the assignment.

So essentially, it's a pre-season game.

Last year, I had a JV-G preseason game at my son's high school, his senior year. My partner lived in town. The varsity crew consisted of a teacher at that school, the assistant principal of that school, and an assistant superintendent of the school district. That's fine, as it's pre-season.

No way that would -- or should -- happen in a regular season or postseason game. And I'd block the team on Arbiter if I had such a relationship as JRut mentions. There are plenty of other schools. You can sacrifice one.

[BillyMac]

Originally Posted by bainsey

So essentially, it's a pre-season game.

I didn't realize this. If it's a preseason game, I would work the game even if my own kids were playing.

[walt]

i would talk it over with your assignor and maybe asked to switch someone else working the tournament. Perception will become your reality so why risk a perceived conflict/favoritism allegation. If they can't switch you, I would give turn it back. You have spent a long time building a rep, why risk it over one game no matter what the level?

[Freddy]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I will just say this. I am not giving back the assignment. Not happening. This was not a regular season game. This was a shootout-tournament of some kind where the teams were not determined until recently. I am not giving back the assignment. I might change, move around, but I am not giving back the assignment. Not happening!!!

Peace

Thank you for the sincerity of seeking our input.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Freddy

Thank you for the sincerity of seeking our input.

I was really trying to see if others were in a similar situation. That does not mean I needed input to make a final decision.

Peace

[Camron Rust]

Originally Posted by bainsey

So essentially, it's a pre-season game.

Last year, I had a JV-G preseason game at my son's high school, his senior year. My partner lived in town. The varsity crew consisted of a teacher at that school, the assistant principal of that school, and an assistant superintendent of the school district. That's fine, as it's pre-season.

No way that would -- or should -- happen in a regular season or postseason game. And I'd block the team on Arbiter if I had such a relationship as JRut mentions. There are plenty of other schools. You can sacrifice one.

I doubt Jeff's game is really a preseason game. That term, along with "not regular season" is often misused. Most, if not all, states have started their regular seasons. Tournaments that occur in the middle of the season are still part of the regular season, they're just an out-of-conference game. My guess is that any team that loses in that tournament but wins the rest of their games wouldn't be considered undefeated at the end of the season by any legitimate standings/rankings.

Your game does sound like preseason, however, as it sounds like it was before the real games started and probably didn't count.

The question I ask....does it go on their records and does it affect their rankings in any polls? If so, the game matters. It may be non-conference or pre-conference, but not pre-season no matter how frequently people use the term.

Take the NFL or NBA for example....preseason games don't get counted in anything....but non-conference games do.

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I was really trying to see if others were in a similar situation. That does not mean I needed input to make a final decision.

Peace

I don't think it would be a big deal to keep this game...the relationship is not close enough for it to matter in my opinion. In most towns, many officials could probably find a close friend who had a cousin on staff at some some school.

That said, your approach to the question here is more than puzzling.