Captains meeting

[Adam]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

No child is calling me by my first name. I was not raised that way and I do not even call people that were adults when I was a child by their first name. It is a sign of respect and values IMO.

Peace

Definitely regional. In Iowa, it was like that. Here in CO, it's much less so. My kids, however, are taught to use Mr and Mrs.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Snaqwells

Definitely regional. In Iowa, it was like that. Here in CO, it's much less so. My kids, however, are taught to use Mr and Mrs.

Actually this is more cultural. I grew up with a African-American, Southern upbringing. Everyone in my family except for a very small few exceptions were born in the south (Alabama or Florida). And in many cases they went to college in the south as well. So when people referred to my Grandmother as an example they would call her "Miss Ollie" or "Miss Jones" but never Ollie. I will never forget I called someone that was a family friend by his first name and not only did he tell my parents, my mother and father jumped down my throat for doing such.

That to me has nothing to do with where I live now or what others do. I just do not feel kids are in a position to call me by my first name and the way I was always raised. I still value that to this day to the point where my mom is a retired college professor and she will call some of her colleagues who I knew as either kids or when I attended the same university and she will refer to them by their first name and I will not know who she is talking about. Then when she says, "Dr. ......." I then know who she is talking about.

Peace

[Adam]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

Actually this is more cultural. I grew up with a African-American, Southern upbringing. Everyone in my family except for a very small few exceptions were born in the south (Alabama or Florida). And in many cases they went to college in the south as well. So when people referred to my Grandmother as an example they would call her "Miss Ollie" or "Miss Jones" but never Ollie. I will never forget I called someone that was a family friend by his first name and not only did he tell my parents, my mother and father jumped down my throat for doing such.

That to me has nothing to do with where I live now or what others do. I just do not feel kids are in a position to call me by my first name and the way I was always raised. I still value that to this day to the point where my mom is a retired college professor and she will call some of her colleagues who I knew as either kids or when I attended the same university and she will refer to them by their first name and I will not know who she is talking about. Then when she says, "Dr. ......." I then know who she is talking about.

Peace

I agree it's cultural, and I'll add that while we introduce ourselves here by first name, I've never had a player address me by my name. It's always "ref" or "sir." I'm in a military town now, and the religious make-up would make some think we're in the south if it wasn't for the weather and scenery.

I was raised in a conservative small town in Iowa, and I always referred to adults outside of the school by their first name. I didn't respect them less, but that was our culture.

Our kids, however, always use Mr. or Mrs. (normally with a first name, but with some adults it's the last name.) This is something we picked up from our church in Des Moines, and the trend is even stronger here.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Snaqwells

I agree it's cultural, and I'll add that while we introduce ourselves here by first name, I've never had a player address me by my name. It's always "ref" or "sir." I'm in a military town now, and the religious make-up would make some think we're in the south if it wasn't for the weather and scenery.

I was raised in a conservative small town in Iowa, and I always referred to adults outside of the school by their first name. I didn't respect them less, but that was our culture.

Our kids, however, always use Mr. or Mrs. (normally with a first name, but with some adults it's the last name.) This is something we picked up from our church in Des Moines, and the trend is even stronger here.

And I do get that having grew up in rural Illinois. People are usually very respectful and call people by their last name with Mr or Mrs in front. It is when I got to the suburbs or kids from the suburbs of Chicago you do not hear as much of those references. But even in my church I do not know many kids that do not call the adults the way I do. Then again as an official I cannot think of many that call me by first name. Not even college players do that. And I have gotten to the point where I introduce myself with my first and last name not Mr. But they better not call me Jeff. That is not going to be acceptable. Just like I do not refer to coaches by their first name either. I just feel how you talk to people shows a certain level of respect.

Peace

[fiasco]

I'd rather have a kid call me by my first name to my face and respect me behind my back than a kid call me Mr. to my face and trash me behind my back.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by fiasco

I'd rather have a kid call me by my first name to my face and respect me behind my back than a kid call me Mr. to my face and trash me behind my back.

As long as the game goes smoothly, I really couldn't care less.

Outside of the court, I'd rather have a kid respect me to my face than behind my back, if I had to choose.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

And I do get that having grew up in rural Illinois. People are usually very respectful and call people by their last name with Mr or Mrs in front. It is when I got to the suburbs or kids from the suburbs of Chicago you do not hear as much of those references. But even in my church I do not know many kids that do not call the adults the way I do. Then again as an official I cannot think of many that call me by first name. Not even college players do that. And I have gotten to the point where I introduce myself with my first and last name not Mr. But they better not call me Jeff. That is not going to be acceptable. Just like I do not refer to coaches by their first name either. I just feel how you talk to people shows a certain level of respect.

Peace

There are guys I play pick up ball with (I'm way older than most who I play with) who call me Mr. BNR or Sir when talking to me. It's all about how folks were raised. Somebody introducing themselves as 'John' instead of 'Mr. Doe' doesn't make me think are any nicer or approachable than anybody else I'm come across in life.

Originally Posted by fiasco

I'd rather have a kid call me by my first name to my face and respect me behind my back than a kid call me Mr. to my face and trash me behind my back.

Is that the only combination of events? What about kids who call you by your last name and respect you behind your back? Or kids who call you by your first name and trash you behind your back?

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

There are guys I play pick up ball with (I'm way older than most who I play with) who call me Mr. BNR or Sir when talking to me. It's all about how folks were raised. Somebody introducing themselves as 'John' instead of 'Mr. Doe' doesn't make me think are any nicer or approachable than anybody else I'm come across in life.

I agree. I also think a social setting is very different than a formal or professional setting.

Peace