Talking to coaches...

[w_sohl]

How does one go about talking to the coaches during the game? What I mean is, a coach is obviously upset about a call and I know that if I explain it to him/her that they will cool down. I know I can't do this every time or I would just need to take a seat next to the coach and call the game from the bench, but I find myself pretending to not hear the coach all of the time and I want to be more interactive at the right times. Is this something that you eventually just get a feel for? Is it something that happens once you have done certain leagues for a while and the coaches start to get to know you? Just curious.

[BktBallRef]

When they yell things like "3 seconds," "over the back," or "he traveled," I usually ignore them. There's no reason to have to explain every call or no call that they disagree with. Also, most of the time, they know it's not 3 seconds, a foul, or traveling. But if they can bait you into calling it, they're way ahead.

There are several things you can do when the coach is unhappy and really wants an explanation:

1- Acknowledge the coach. Don't ignore him.
2- If you can give him a quick answer during a live ball, then do so.
3- If he asks to speak to you during a dead ball, oblige him.
4- Don't stand directly in front of him. Stand beside him, either facing him or facing the same way. It's less confrontational.
5- Don't put an arm around him or touch him.
6- Allow him to speak his piece, as long as he's not out of line.
7- Either cross your arms or put them behind you. This will keep you from talking with your hands when you reply to him. Talking with your hands is more confrontational.

You must be approachable but the coach needs to speak to you like he would expect to be spoken to. Smart remarks are fun but they usually just add fuel to the fire. As a young official, stay away from them.

Hope this helps!

[JRutledge]

I agree with Tony on almost everything he said. But the one thing I do not do is run from them. If I am by them, so be it. I might respond if they ask nicely, but if they have the balls to get very confrontational with me standing right next to them, then at least I will know what the problem is. I think officials spend more time running than being able to stand next to the problem. And if that coach can only yell across the court all night about fouls, then I really tune them out. But if they have the courage or the tact to ask me what they need to when I am right in front of them, I will show them more respect and listen and answer questions when I can.

I think we cause more problems when we are always trying to get away from irate coaches. I have found if you are able to stand up to them, they back down or tone down their reatorhic. And I would at least like to know what they say so when they earn a T instead of being somewhere else and having to guess.

And considering that this is my 5th full year of varsity basketball, I have not averaged a T a year during for coach for conduct during that same time. So what I have done has worked well for me.

Peace

[crew]

Originally posted by BktBallRef
When they yell things like "3 seconds," "over the back," or "he traveled," I usually ignore them. There's no reason to have to explain every call or no call that they disagree with. Also, most of the time, they know it's not 3 seconds, a foul, or traveling. But if they can bait you into calling it, they're way ahead.

There are several things you can do when the coach is unhappy and really wants an explanation:

1- Acknowledge the coach. Don't ignore him.
2- If you can give him a quick answer during a live ball, then do so.
3- If he asks to speak to you during a dead ball, oblige him.
4- Don't stand directly in front of him. Stand beside him, either facing him or facing the same way. It's less confrontational.
5- Don't put an arm around him or touch him.
6- Allow him to speak his piece, as long as he's not out of line.
7- Either cross your arms or put them behind you. This will keep you from talking with your hands when you reply to him. Talking with your hands is more confrontational.

You must be approachable but the coach needs to speak to you like he would expect to be spoken to. Smart remarks are fun but they usually just add fuel to the fire. As a young official, stay away from them.

Hope this helps!

this is well spoken advice. i am in complete compliance with these guidelines of address. these are good vices to difuse a situation. 2-9 skills are very important to the progress of an official.

[ChuckElias]

Originally posted by w_sohl
How does one go about talking to the coaches during the game?

I think TH gave some very good advice. This has also been something that has been difficult for me to get used to. In rec leagues, when I first started, I almost completely ignored the coaches. Mostly b/c I had no idea how to deal with them without it becoming a confrontation. Over the last 10 years, tho, I've gotten a little better feel for it. I pick my spots for talking and I only initiate the "discussion" if I feel I can keep it short and sweet.

Last week, I worked a game in which the visiting coach was vocal, but not completely insane. I had ignored him for much of the game, b/c his comments were of your basic "howler monkey" variety, for lack of a better term.

However, in the second half, I felt like if I continued to ignore him, he would just get more frustrated. So while my partner put the ball in play in the backcourt, I took a position in the frontcourt, at the foul line extended, right in front of his bench. I didn't say anything, but I stood right next to him, facing the court. I felt like I was giving him the opportunity to talk to me if he wanted to. And if it was not appropriate, I had the "out" of running to my proper position on the baseline. In this particular case, he didn't say anything to me; which I took to be a good thing. I gave him a chance to say whatever he wanted, and he didn't want to. I don't always do this, but it worked ok this time.

Is this something that you eventually just get a feel for?

In my case, the answer is yes. It's not easy for me, but I've gotten a little better at it, I think.

Is it something that happens once you have done certain leagues for a while and the coaches start to get to know you? Just curious.

Again, in my case, it has helped A LOT to know some of the coaches. They know me by name now and when they say "Chuck!! Chuck!! That was a clean block?", I feel like they actually are addressing me and not just venting at me. I may be wrong about that, of course, but that feeling allows me to respond to them without feeling like I'm being abused. So maybe it's actually better b/c I know them and not the other way around.

As you can probably tell, this is still not a very easy area for me . But I think I'm improving bit by bit.

One question for TH. Why is talking with your hands considered more confrontational than folding them in front of your chest? I've always thought that folding your arms in front of your chest made a person look like he was trying to be superior or judgmental.

Chuck

[Dan_ref]

I think the posts in this thread are incredibly valuable
and cover all of "Handling Coaches 101". Like Chuck
suggests I find that positioning myself next to a
complaining coach after a "big" call does a lot to let him
vent and gives me an opportunity to say a few words myself
if I feel the need. Once you're done just move away.

[mick]

Good advice here from the Big Boys.

On the run, past a coach that is trying to talk to me, I have often put up my index finger and quickly say, I'll get back to you. Then during a lull, I go over to listen or explain, whichever he choses.
mick

[mick]

Originally posted by Dan_ref
I think the posts in this thread are incredibly valuable
and cover all of "Handling Coaches 101". Like Chuck
suggests I find that positioning myself next to a
complaining coach after a "big" call does a lot to let him
vent and gives me an opportunity to say a few words myself
if I feel the need. Once you're done just move away.

I do this a lot also.
And when they do say something, it usually isn't yellin'.
Asst. Coaches even are able to talk to me civily when I am over there.
mick

[Hawks Coach]

Originally posted by ChuckElias
[QUOTEOne question for TH. Why is talking with your hands considered more confrontational than folding them in front of your chest? I've always thought that folding your arms in front of your chest made a person look like he was trying to be superior or judgmental.

What I have always been taught in communication is that folding your arms in front of your chest is a non-verbal act that physically closes off the body and, more importantly, signifies to the other person that you have a closed mind and will will engage only in one directional communication. And large gestures are also hostile, especially in potentially volatile situations, but subtle movement is not so hostile. But the caution on gesturing is that when you are engaging in a potentially hostile conversation, your gestures may easily reach the point that they look big and threatening rather than subtle. this can happen without your being conscious of it and thus the caution on using any sort of gesture. If you gestue, it should be conscious, small and very controlled if you do not wish to appear hostile.

If you are going over to the coach to show that you will listen to what they have to say, the arms behind the back while listening, or relaxed at your sides if you can stnd that way, is better than folding them. This would also hold true if you are giving your first explanation and may entertain a further question or response from the coach. If you have heard all you want to hear and you are going to tell them where you are coming from, folding the arms is may help signal that you are done listening and now you are in the one-directional communication mode - a subtle stop sign to the coach. Not necessarily a bad message to send once you have given the coach his/her time.

Bottom line though is that you must be comfortable and confident in commnicating in a potentially hostile interchange and display this confidence, knowing that you control when the conversation starts and stops. You must not allowing a coach's hostility to become your hostility. If you can maintain emotional control when communicating, this will come across in many non-verbal ways and benfit you in many ways beyond the basketball court.

[Doug]

that is good advice hawks coach

[BktBallRef]

Originally posted by ChuckElias
One question for TH. Why is talking with your hands considered more confrontational than folding them in front of your chest? I've always thought that folding your arms in front of your chest made a person look like he was trying to be superior or judgmental.

I think using the hands probably appears more confrontational to those who can't hear what is being said, not necessarily to the coach. But as the coach said, it's easy for things to become volatile if you start gesturing.

As far as folding the arms across the chest, If I were standing directly in front of him, arms crossed and head held high, I agree that this would appear confrontational. However, when I'm in this position, I'm leaning toward him with with my head down, so that the coach can speak to me without yelling. Also, as I said, I'm not directly in front of him. I'm beside him, either facing the same way or facing the opposite way. In either position, my body language is that he has my ear. But at the same time, the arms tell him that I'm not going to stand there all day. Say what you have to say and let's play ball.

It's worked for me.

[Mark Padgett]

About two years ago, I had a coach want me to explain a rule interpretation during play. As I went past him, I told him I would explain it at the next break. A minute later, I went past him going the other way and he said that both he and his assistant wanted me to explain it right now - and that I should because there were two of them who wanted me to!

I yelled back at him, "Apparently, you are under the misconception that this is a democracy."

They ticked me off so much, I never did explain it (it was an over and back).

Similarly, I had a coach earlier this year not like a PC foul call I made and had the gall to ask my partner if he agreed. My partner, Blake, told the coach, "It's not up to a vote, dude."

And yes, he actually said "dude".

[rainmaker]

This has been a weakness for me, too. Here are some sentences that I have memorized that have helped some:

Coach, it's rule 4.43 (or whatever number-- the ones to memorize are travelling, 3-seconds, and PC. The numbers can change every year, so always double check when you get your new books).

She had (or didn't have) legal guarding position.

He was pushing, coach. C: But he was boxing out! Me: Boxing out is legal as long as it's not a push.

High School Rules, Coach (I use this out-loud, when I am thinking, "This isn't the NBA!")

When they quit fouling, I'll quit calling it!

The smart-aleck remarks that you may read on this board should be used sparingly if at all, until you have enough experience to know that you aren't adding gasoline to a fire. It can help your attitude to think them, and smile slightly to yourself. A little smug superiority feels good now and then.

[Mark Dexter]

Originally posted by rainmaker
"This isn't the NBA!"

I just tend to use this one straight!

[rainmaker]

Originally posted by Mark Dexter

I just tend to use this one straight!

I've had trouble with it. Coaches seem to think I'm being a wise-acre, although my intent really is to explain. So I've switched over to High School Rules. That gets the point across without the danger of being mis-understood. I mean, without it being my problem if they misunderstand.