Dialogue with coaches/players

[NBA2003]

I understand that ideally you want to speak as little as possible to coaches and/or players. But I am interested to hear some good "one-liners" or quick exchanges between officials and players/coaches. Maybe you were in a situation where a coach wouldn't let something die or was posing a question and demanded an answer. Maybe you haven't been involved in such situations, but you saw another official defuse a situation with a couple words. I would love to hear from anyone anything that you found to help yourself or another official deal with players/coaches more effectively.

I will contribute one such story. I was watching an NBA game on television. The TV crew zoomed in on a conversation between an official and player. The player had just been hit with a Technical for swinging elbows after getting the ball. The player asked the ref why he got a Tech. The official responded, "Is that a rule?" The player replied, "I only moved my elbows around."

The official responded, "Is that a rule?" The player said he didn't know to which the official responded, "It is unsportsmanlike conduct." End of dialogue. I really liked how the official took control of the conversation by asking a question. It was so simple, but perfect.

Also, at a camp I attended, some officials told me to have some pre-rehearsed lines to use on a coach.
Examples:
"You've got my ear coach."
"I'm not yelling at you, why are you yelling at me?"
"I hear what you say, but I need you to get control of yourself and we'll go from there."
"I had great position. I'm not giving you that one."


I would love to learn more ways to handle coaches/players. Any situations you faced with very often? I read a thread a couple weeks ago that had various replies for when the coach asks you to "call it both ways." Good stuff. Add some more!

[JRutledge]

I say this to players that like to run their mouths.

"How old are you?" The kid usually will say their age at this time. "Well when you get 18 you can officiate basketball, but until then let me do my job."

I say this to a kid usually during or right before a FT attempt, when everyone is lined up. I say this so that all the players can hear me and usually it somewhat embarrasses the kid and makes the others think before they speak. I do not say this often, but I say it when I get the chance to shut them up before I am about the T them. I also say this very calm and as a matter of fact-like so that the message comes off clear. I came up with this on my own and probably would not work for others.

[BktBallRef]

You don't really need a lot of cute one liners. Just listen to the coach and answer his question if you can do it with a sentence or two. I use a couple but try to stay away from the smart ass remarks.

1- "Coach, are you accusing me of cheating?" This is especially effective when the coah yells that his team has 8 team fouls and the opponent has 2. Their jaw usually hit the floor.

2- "I think we're going to have to disagree on that one coach."

3- "Coach, I can't see what happenedt from here And neither can you."

4- "Coach, what can I say? I missed it."

[BigDave]

Here is one I use when the coach disagrees with a call.

"Coach, if it happened again, I'd call it the same way."

[rainmaker]

I'm new to this obsession, as you are, but I've learned a couple things about talking to coaches. First of all, sarcasm is very dangerous. I don't trust it at all. Second, when a coach is just chipping away, call after call, minute after minute, play after play, I turn to him or her, with my hand up like a cop stopping traffic, and say, "I've heard enough!" Firmly, but with no emotion. They teach this in our first year class here in Portland, and it really works. The other thing I do when a coach is quesioning a call, is quote numbers out of the rule book, like, "Rule 10-6, coach". This has always stopped them dead in their tracks. I think it tells them that I know what I'm doing. If I'm not usre which rule I want to quote, I make up numbers, but then I go home and memorize that situation so I can give the right numbers next time.

The questions I have about talking to coaches are numerous.
1) If my partner has criticized me to the coach, what if anything should I say to defend myself? (This actually happened to me this weekend)

2) When is it ever appropriate to talk to a coach at any length? Are they allowed to claim a full minute of my time if they call a time out?

3) Are there things that I should never explain to a coach, but just button my lip?

4) How do I admit I was wrong, without losing face?

5) sometimes the compliments are worse than the insults -- what do you say to the winning coach when he comes up after the game and says, "Thanks for that last call " This actually happened to me. What should I have said?

[Paul in Seattle]

Still developing how to talk to coaches. The following may not work for you. Indeed--they may not work for me...this is as much to solicit veteran input as to give suggestions. Please tell me what you think.

1) If my partner has criticized me to the coach, what if anything should I say to defend myself? (This actually happened to me this weekend)

"Coach, I'm doing my best to give you a fair game." Then, you'd better believe I'm reporting the partner to our Ethics and Grievances committee. It's completely inexcusable, what your partner did, and I hope you write him/her up.

2) When is it ever appropriate to talk to a coach at any length? Are they allowed to claim a full minute of my time if they call a time out?

I avoid lengthy conversation. When it becomes clear the coach wants an extended conversation, I'll cut it off by saying "I hear you, coach" or "If that's happening, I'll try to catch it."

3) Are there things that I should never explain to a coach, but just button my lip?

Depends on the coach. I can tell if the coach legitimately wants an explanation, I'll give it (I find it effective to start with "You won't like this, coach, but I saw...") If I sense he/she just wants to get on me, I'll avoid conflict.

4) How do I admit I was wrong, without losing face?

You don't lose face by admitting you were wrong--it beats lame excuses or made-up explanations.

5) sometimes the compliments are worse than the insults -- what do you say to the winning coach when he comes up after the game and says, "Thanks for that last call " This actually happened to me. What should I have said?

Gosh, I didn't hear that coach say that! But if "hearing it" is unavoidable, maybe just "That's what I saw."
[/B][/QUOTE]

Comments?

Paul

[NBA2003]

Rainmaker-

Paul is right. Your partner should never criticize you to a coach. That is totally unacceptable. Report this to your assigner or President of your association.

If you make a bad call and want to admit your mistake, here are a couple phrases I've heard or used:
"I didn't like my position on that one and I don't like that call."
"I would like to see that one on film. I think I may have got that one wrong."
--Caution: Use only one in a game. Don't mess up in the first place, but if you do take the advice I got from Ron Garretson (NBA official): 1. Relax and loosen up 2. Concentrate 3. Referee the defense.
--You don't want the coach thinking every call is going to be a bad one. If you make a mistake, don't be afraid to admit it and have the confidence to move on and forget about it.

[Dan_ref]

The questions I have about talking to coaches are numerous.
1) If my partner has criticized me to the coach, what if anything should I say to defend myself? (This actually happened to me this weekend)

***Not much can be done here but I agree with the Paul who
said to file a grievance with your association.

2) When is it ever appropriate to talk to a coach at any length? Are they allowed to claim a full minute of my time if they call a time out?

***My rule of thumb is to let them talk to me as long as
there is a legitimate question. End the conversation
as soon as the coach starts to get abusive or repeats
himself. Once you walk away don't walk back, you're done.
As for him using the entire minute, it's his timeout.
If he would rather shoot the breeze with me than coach his
team that's fine, his team just better be ready when the
second horn goes off.

3) Are there things that I should never explain to a coach, but just button my lip?

***Try not to tell him that you think he's the biggest,
most clueless jerk you have ever met in your life. Other
than that answer any reasonable question. Also remember
to never call anything you can't exlain!

4) How do I admit I was wrong, without losing face?

***As soon as you realize that you've gotten a rule wrong
admit it, fix it if possible within the rules & move
on.

5) sometimes the compliments are worse than the insults -- what do you say to the winning coach when he comes up after the game and says, "Thanks for that last call " This actually happened to me. What should I have said?

***Ignore these clueless jerks.

[rainmaker]

Thanks for all the advice, I am busy memorizing so I can pull the right one out at the proper moment.

About my #5, "Thanks for that last call" this was totally serious and not in the least sarcastic. He meant, "We won the game because of your call, and I appreciate it" Unfortunately, the losing coach was well within ear shot and I felt as though I was being dragged into a conspiracy which I had no intention of ever joining. I couldn't think of any way to explain that I had not tried to make anyone win or lose, just call what I see. Anything I thought of sounded lame. So I just shook his hand and said "Good game, coach," and then turned to the other coach and did the same and then got the hell out of Dodge!

[hoopsrefBC]

Originally posted by rainmaker
Thanks for all the advice, I am busy memorizing so I can pull the right one out at the proper moment.

About my #5, "Thanks for that last call" this was totally serious and not in the least sarcastic. He meant, "We won the game because of your call, and I appreciate it" Unfortunately, the losing coach was well within ear shot and I felt as though I was being dragged into a conspiracy which I had no intention of ever joining. I couldn't think of any way to explain that I had not tried to make anyone win or lose, just call what I see. Anything I thought of sounded lame. So I just shook his hand and said "Good game, coach," and then turned to the other coach and did the same and then got the hell out of Dodge!

My response...if i was to give one..

"Coach, i hope you have the same feelings when that call goes against you" and then thank them.

My question to you is what are you doing around the coaches after the game?, as the horn sound i'm leaving the court almost immediately.

With #4, always go up to your partner(s) and confirm that you have the right conclusion then tell the coach(s), easier to sell the call if it looks like the 'crew' are in agreement.

[Edited by hoopsrefBC on Jan 2nd, 2001 at 02:30 AM]

[JRutledge]

I really think that the discussion of "one liners" and "funny comments" are really tedious at best sometimes. Not because there is information that cannot be shared or learned, but it really is up to you and the situation that is put in front of you.

Coaches are not owed anything, and officials should not feel like we have to give them an explaination for things that they should know. Now, that does not mean that you should never give them explaination, but if they are not respectful, calm or come to you in the right spirit, screw em'. Because if a coach wants to yell at you for everything under the sun and you give them an explaination all the time, tell me now who is in control, you or the coach? Now if a coach waits for the right opportunity and does not try to show you up, nothing is wrong with giving them some of your time, but do not stop play or yell across the court or delay the game just because they do not understand a judgement call or even a rule intepretation. At least in my state coaches have to attend rules meetings, and if they do not understand what is discussed there, then what are you going to tell them that is going to make them understand?

Most coaches, but not all are trying to win, and if they feel they can influence you by pointing out things like the foul difference or what rules "they" think you do not understand, not matter how wrong they will. That is why I do not allow them to tell me about "over the back" and "moving screens" calls. If a coach is too stupid to realize that and look it up themselves, be my guest and report me to the state and my assignors or the AD if it makes you happy. At least I am the one standing on my integrity, while they are trying to get the "hook up."

What I am saying is that do what fits your personality. What I say and how I say it might not make sense if someone else just copies my style. You have to find your own style and what you do and how you do it. If you say what I say you might sound sarcastic and uninterested. If I say the same thing it comes off as common sense, not just because of the words, the body language and tone of voice or anything else that might influence your communication skills. When I officiate my personality comes out and that might not resinate with anyone else trying to copy.

Have a Happy New Year.