Pre-Game Captains Meeting

[scrounge]

Originally Posted by Eastshire

It's done in sports with coin tosses for obvious reasons.

Yea, that's kinda my point...ask for a speaking captain when, you know, they actually need to speak. No such need here.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Rich

That's your right. But I also have the right to let people call me whatever I want.

Never suggested what you should do either way. I just think there is nothing wrong with have some sense of respect for an adult. That is part of the problem with kids today, they think adults are their equals and often are part of the problem I see we deal with as officials often. It seems like in every game I have a kid talking to me about something even when they are not involved and when I was coming up, that was never allowed by us. Coaches talked to officials, we listened to the coach.

Peace

[Refhoop]

Originally Posted by Eastshire

There's no problem with it. However, it is no longer the cultural norm.

The court is suppose to be an extension of the classroom... correct?
A few teachers and coaches are beginning to allow their students and athletes to call them by their first name... but this is definitely not the norm in middle and high school.
Hard to image Coach K allowing his athletes to call him Mike, while they're playing for him at Duke...?
Personally, I'd prefer to just be called "hey ref" or just "ref".
On that point; isn't the rule of thumb for officials to call the coaches: "Coach" and not by his first or last name.
So while on the court with minors, its: #3, #10... coach and ref!

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by AremRed

So you don't let kids do it now because you couldn't do it when you were their age? Makes sense.

No, I feel there is a respect factor. If I am in my 40s and I do not call a person that was an adult (someone that I am not a collegue with) by Mr or Mrs or Miss "Fill in the name" why would I want a kid calling me by my first name?

There are some values that I believe are important and respect for your elders is one of them.

Peace

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by Eastshire

That escalated quickly.

What escalated? You said something was a cultural norm, I stated that it is not where I live. And I stated what used to be a cultural norm where I live.

There is a great big world out there, I never assume something that happens where I live is the norm in some other part of the country.

I was also raised by a man who was frequently addressed as "boy" for his first 30 years on this planet, even while serving his country. So one of his "things" was that all of his children were to address adults as Mr., Miss, or Mrs. and that we were always to address his brothers and sisters as Uncle or Aunt.

Sorry if that so offensive to some. I don't know why it should bother anybody else. I'm not telling anybody else how they should be addressed.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

I don't let kids call me by my first name either. And I don't let my minor children call adults by their first names. Is there a problem with that?

This is the cultural thing I am talking. I was raised by people from the south and even when you were to call someone by their first name, you would say, "Miss...." or Mr......" using their first name.

And most of all we are in a professional setting, not a social setting. And even in a social setting, I do not want a kid calling me by their first name unless I have a very personal relationship with them like by best friend's kid or something where I know their parents very well.

Peace

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

This is the cultural thing I am talking. I was raised by people from the south and even when you were to call someone by their first name, you would say, "Miss...." or Mr......" using their first name.


Peace

Mr. or Miss FirstName is still a norm around here. My wife is 41 years old and still uses those terms of address for anybody who is a generation older than she is. My wife and I could not have been raised in more different environments (racially, culturally, and geographically), yet we somehow have that in common.

[bob jenkins]

Originally Posted by scrounge

Yea, that's kinda my point...ask for a speaking captain when, you know, they actually need to speak. No such need here.

More than once this season I've gone to the speaking captain to address a minor point quietly before it became a big point that I needed to be noticed addressing.

I certainly see the value.

And, while saying "sportsmanship" in the pre-game meeting probably has zero effect on that game, saying it 25 times a season might have some effect on the Game.

And, I do introduce myself as "Bob." I don't really care what they call me -- I care about the (real or implied) adjective in front of it.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

I was also raised by a man who was frequently addressed as "boy" for his first 30 years on this planet, even while serving his country. So one of his "things" was that all of his children were to address adults as Mr., Miss, or Mrs. and that we were always to address his brothers and sisters as Uncle or Aunt.

Sorry if that so offensive to some. I don't know why it should bother anybody else. I'm not telling anybody else how they should be addressed.

Exactly. This is why it is cultural. And I also do not care what others do. If you want a kid calling you by your first name, knock yourself out. I am just not allowing it and that is my right.

Peace

[Eastshire]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

What escalated? You said something was a cultural norm, I stated that it is not where I live. And I stated what used to be a cultural norm where I live.

There is a great big world out there, I never assume something that happens where I live is the norm in some other part of the country.

I was also raised by a man who was frequently addressed as "boy" for his first 30 years on this planet, even while serving his country. So one of his "things" was that all of his children were to address adults as Mr., Miss, or Mrs. and that we were always to address his brothers and sisters as Uncle or Aunt.

Sorry if that so offensive to some. I don't know why it should bother anybody else. I'm not telling anybody else how they should be addressed.

Going from how we have players address us to making up for Jim Crow seemed like a very big difference in seriousness and tone to me. I didn't see the connection before but now I do.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

Mr. or Miss FirstName is still a norm around here. My wife is 41 years old and still uses those terms of address for anybody who is a generation older than she is. My wife and I could not have been raised in more different environments (racially, culturally, and geographically), yet we somehow have that in common.

It is also culturally around here around certain people. People in the Midwest are not far off than what is done in the south. The thing I have noticed the generation of adults that wants to be everyone's friend is usually the ones that this is a conflict with their sensibilities. Just an opinion.

Peace

[Rich]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

It is also culturally around here around certain people. People in the Midwest are not far off than what is done in the south. The thing I have noticed the generation of adults that wants to be everyone's friend is usually the ones that this is a conflict with their sensibilities. Just an opinion.

Peace

You couldn't be more wrong. Just another opinion.

[bas2456]

I've introduced myself by my first name every time I've officiated a game, and not once has a player addressed me by it. It's always been ref or sir. Some coaches are good at remembering names, and some coaches I've had several times and have a good enough relationship with to call them by their first name.

If I need to address something with a player, I'm usually able to pick out a player during the course of a game who seems to be the leader. It's not necessarily the captain. I'll tell that player to relay a message for me.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Rich

You couldn't be more wrong. Just another opinion.

That is fine and still no kid is calling me by my first name without me correcting them. You do what makes you comfortable and I will do what makes me comfortable. Just like every thing else we talk about here.

Peace

[Rich]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

That is fine and still no kid is calling me by my first name without me correcting them. You do what makes you comfortable and I will do what makes me comfortable. Just like every thing else we talk about here.

Peace

I find all this quite amusing.

I had a coach a few years ago. First names, as usual, between me and the coach.

One of the coach's assistants said to me, when I said hi to the head coach, "That's Coach XXXXX to you." I completely ignored the assistant - didn't even say hi to him or shake his hand.

For you, I'll make an exception. Please call me Mr. MyLastName. Everyone else can call me Rich.