Pre-Game Captains Meeting

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I do not want any high school kid calling my by my first name. Maybe it is a cultural thing (and it is) but they are not allowed to call me by my first name as I do did not call adults at that age by my first name.

So you don't let kids do it now because you couldn't do it when you were their age? Makes sense.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by AremRed

So you don't let kids do it now because you couldn't do it when you were their age? Makes sense.

I don't let kids call me by my first name either. And I don't let my minor children call adults by their first names. Is there a problem with that?

[Eastshire]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

I don't let kids call me by my first name either. And I don't let my minor children call adults by their first names. Is there a problem with that?

There's no problem with it. However, it is no longer the cultural norm.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by Eastshire

There's no problem with it. However, it is no longer the cultural norm.

You don't live in Virginia. People still call each other Sir and Ma'am on a regular basis if they are not personal acquaintances. And everywhere I travel in the South I make to sure to especially address older blacks by Sir or Ma'am in deference to all those years they were addressed disrespectfully as a matter of cultural norms.

[UNIgiantslayers]

Yikes.

[scrounge]

I don't even know we still have captain's meeting, to be honest. Don't do it in other sports like baseball. And I especially don't know why some (a decreasing number but still a sizable minority) of my partners still insist on asking who the 'speaking' captain is. What are they saying? It's not like they're calling the coin toss. And I don't remember their number 5 seconds later and I bet dollars to donuts my partner doesn't either. Never once have I heard a partner say to someone asking a question 'No, you can't ask me, you're not the speaking captain'. Utterly superfluous and useless.

But because we still have to do this charade, I try to keep mine short and simple. "Ok, you know your teammates better than I do, right? You know what they look like when they get mad or frustrated? If you can calm them down, it's so much better for everyone - keep us out of it as best you can. Alright - any questions? Good luck".

And I'm in the 'not on a first name basis with 16 yr olds' camp as well. If I'm not the R and a partner does it, of course I'll mention it. But if I'm the R? Either nothing or Mr. XXX. No one is listening anyway, it doesn't matter.

[Eastshire]

Originally Posted by scrounge

I don't even know we still have captain's meeting, to be honest. Don't do it in other sports like baseball. And I especially don't know why some (a decreasing number but still a sizable minority) of my partners still insist on asking who the 'speaking' captain is. What are they saying? It's not like they're calling the coin toss. And I don't remember their number 5 seconds later and I bet dollars to donuts my partner doesn't either. Never once have I heard a partner say to someone asking a question 'No, you can't ask me, you're not the speaking captain'. Utterly superfluous and useless.

But because we still have to do this charade, I try to keep mine short and simple. "Ok, you know your teammates better than I do, right? You know what they look like when they get mad or frustrated? If you can calm them down, it's so much better for everyone - keep us out of it as best you can. Alright - any questions? Good luck".

And I'm in the 'not on a first name basis with 16 yr olds' camp as well. If I'm not the R and a partner does it, of course I'll mention it. But if I'm the R? Either nothing or Mr. XXX. No one is listening anyway, it doesn't matter.

It's done in sports with coin tosses for obvious reasons.

[Eastshire]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

You don't live in Virginia. People still call each other Sir and Ma'am on a regular basis if they are not personal acquaintances. And everywhere I travel in the South I make to sure to especially address older blacks by Sir or Ma'am in deference to all those years they were addressed disrespectfully as a matter of cultural norms.

That escalated quickly.

[Refhoop]

Originally Posted by Eastshire

There's no problem with it. However, it is no longer the cultural norm.

The court is suppose to be an extension of the classroom... correct?
A few teachers and coaches are beginning to allow their students and athletes to call them by their first name... but this is definitely not the norm in middle and high school.
Hard to image Coach K allowing his athletes to call him Mike, while they're playing for him at Duke...?
Personally, I'd prefer to just be called "hey ref" or just "ref".
On that point; isn't the rule of thumb for officials to call the coaches: "Coach" and not by his first or last name.
So while on the court with minors, its: #3, #10... coach and ref!

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

I don't let kids call me by my first name either. And I don't let my minor children call adults by their first names. Is there a problem with that?

Don't have a problem with you teaching your kids that. Not sure how you can expect/require other people's kids to not call you by your first name though. How exactly do you "not let kids call me by my first name" on the court?

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by AremRed

Don't have a problem with you teaching your kids that. Not sure how you can expect/require other people's kids to not call you by your first name though. How exactly do you "not let kids call me by my first name" on the court?

1) HTF would a kid know my first name on the court?

2) If they did call me by my first name, I would say that's "Mr. ####" to you.

When I go to my kid's school, I don't call his teachers and principals Steve or Johnny, or Whitney. I address them as Mr. or Ms. Such-and-such. If we run into each other at a bar or the mall or where ever outside of a professional environment, then first names are expected.

It's really not that difficult.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

I don't let kids call me by my first name either. And I don't let my minor children call adults by their first names. Is there a problem with that?

Nope. As long as there's nothing wrong with me doing what I wish. To all my 10-year-old's friends, I'm Rich. To the 10U softball team I coach, I'm "Coach Rich".

You're not wrong and I'm not wrong. We're just different. On the court, you'd be Mr. BNR and I'd be Rich.

I've never believed in such formality and I think respect goes much deeper than what one calls another.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by Rich

Nope. As long as there's nothing wrong with me doing what I wish. To all my 10-year-old's friends, I'm Rich. To the 10U softball team I coach, I'm "Coach Rich".

You're not wrong and I'm not wrong. We're just different. On the court, you'd be Mr. BNR and I'd be Rich.

I've never believed in such formality and I think respect goes much deeper than what one calls another.

I never comment when someone says they get called by their first name, I couldn't care less. All the snarky remarks come when someone says they give their name as "Mr. ABCD".

Respect also comes in the form of not ridiculing someone's personal preferences.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

I never comment when someone says they get called by their first name, I couldn't care less. All the snarky remarks come when someone says they give their name as "Mr. ABCD".

I do find it weird, which is probably why I joke about it. I'll stop here, though.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

I don't let kids call me by my first name either. And I don't let my minor children call adults by their first names. Is there a problem with that?

This is the cultural thing I am talking. I was raised by people from the south and even when you were to call someone by their first name, you would say, "Miss...." or Mr......" using their first name.

And most of all we are in a professional setting, not a social setting. And even in a social setting, I do not want a kid calling me by their first name unless I have a very personal relationship with them like by best friend's kid or something where I know their parents very well.

Peace