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I've introduced myself by my first name every time I've officiated a game, and not once has a player addressed me by it. It's always been ref or sir. Some coaches are good at remembering names, and some coaches I've had several times and have a good enough relationship with to call them by their first name.
If I need to address something with a player, I'm usually able to pick out a player during the course of a game who seems to be the leader. It's not necessarily the captain. I'll tell that player to relay a message for me.
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