Pre-Game Captains Meeting

[Dad]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

It is also culturally around here around certain people. People in the Midwest are not far off than what is done in the south. The thing I have noticed the generation of adults that wants to be everyone's friend is usually the ones that this is a conflict with their sensibilities. Just an opinion.

Peace

Your perception of reality is distorted.

Call this what it is, because it has absolutely nothing to do with respect.

[BillyMac]

During player, and coach, introductions I always introduce myself as Billy Mac (first and last name, no mister). In thirty five years I've never had a player address me by either Billy, or Mr. Mac. I don't think that any of the hundreds of captains that I've introduced myself to over the years could remember my name thirty seconds after the conference. If I'm ever addressed by a player, captain, or otherwise, it's always Ref.

Coaches usually address me as Billy, or Ref, almost never Mr. Mac.

[Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I do not want any high school kid calling my by my first name. Maybe it is a cultural thing (and it is) but they are not allowed to call me by my first name as I do did not call adults at that age by my first name.

Peace

Jeff:

I agree with you 100%. I am an old geezer (and you are also probably getting old, ) and I was taught that anybody under the age of 18 did not address an adult by his or her first name. Even in Junior's first year of officiating when he was a senior in high school he introduced himself in jr. varsity games as Mr. DeNucci. I do not expect the players to remember my last name but I will respond to: Ref, Mr. Ref, Stripes, and even Blue (it is an umpiring thing), as long as it is done in a sportsmanlike manner.

MTD, Sr.

[Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

Never suggested what you should do either way. I just think there is nothing wrong with have some sense of respect for an adult. That is part of the problem with kids today, they think adults are their equals and often are part of the problem I see we deal with as officials often. It seems like in every game I have a kid talking to me about something even when they are not involved and when I was coming up, that was never allowed by us. Coaches talked to officials, we listened to the coach.

Peace

Originally Posted by JRutledge

No, I feel there is a respect factor. If I am in my 40s and I do not call a person that was an adult (someone that I am not a collegue with) by Mr or Mrs or Miss "Fill in the name" why would I want a kid calling me by my first name?

There are some values that I believe are important and respect for your elders is one of them.

Peace

Originally Posted by JRutledge

This is the cultural thing I am talking. I was raised by people from the south and even when you were to call someone by their first name, you would say, "Miss...." or Mr......" using their first name.

And most of all we are in a professional setting, not a social setting. And even in a social setting, I do not want a kid calling me by their first name unless I have a very personal relationship with them like by best friend's kid or something where I know their parents very well.

Peace

Originally Posted by JRutledge

It is also culturally around here around certain people. People in the Midwest are not far off than what is done in the south. The thing I have noticed the generation of adults that wants to be everyone's friend is usually the ones that this is a conflict with their sensibilities. Just an opinion.

Peace

Originally Posted by JRutledge

Exactly. This is why it is cultural. And I also do not care what others do. If you want a kid calling you by your first name, knock yourself out. I am just not allowing it and that is my right.

Peace

Originally Posted by JRutledge

That is fine and still no kid is calling me by my first name without me correcting them. You do what makes you comfortable and I will do what makes me comfortable. Just like every thing else we talk about here.

Peace

Originally Posted by Dad

Your perception of reality is distorted.

Call this what it is, because it has absolutely nothing to do with respect.

Originally Posted by Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.

Jeff:

I agree with you 100%. I am an old geezer (and you are also probably getting old, ) and I was taught that anybody under the age of 18 did not address an adult by his or her first name. Even in Junior's first year of officiating when he was a senior in high school he introduced himself in jr. varsity games as Mr. DeNucci. I do not expect the players to remember my last name but I will respond to: Ref, Mr. Ref, Stripes, and even Blue (it is an umpiring thing), as long as it is done in a sportsmanlike manner.

MTD, Sr.

Dad:

Once again I agree with Jeff 100% (even though he roots for that team up north, ). I am 64 and nothing fries my tuchus than when I am talking with a customer service representative on the telephone, who is obviously in his or her 20s, and he or she wants to address me by my first name. That is absolutely unprofessional. I am a retired structural engineer and I would never (with apologies to the late J. Dallas Shirely) address a client by his or her first name unless he or she specifically asked me to do so.

And while Jeff is one generation younger than me, we are were brought up to respect our elders. I know that sounds trite and is a cliche, but we have as a society become less and less civil over the last twenty years, and our public discourse is suffering for it.

Heck, Junior addresses me as Dad when we are officiating or umpiring because I am his dad (father) first who just happens to be his teammate on the court or diamond. More often than not, when he wants to get my attention he just yells: "Hey! Old man!" To which I always respond because I have always been "the bald old geezer" to my sons, LOL!

MTD, Sr.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Dad

Your perception of reality is distorted.

Call this what it is, because it has absolutely nothing to do with respect.

OK, if you say so. I do not want kids calling me by my first name and in this arena they will not. It is that simple.

Peace

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.

Ref, Mr. Ref, Stripes, and even Blue (it is an umpiring thing), as long as it is done in a sportsmanlike manner.

MTD, Sr.

I usually tell them, "Wrong sport" and smile and laugh.

Peace

[johnny d]

Originally Posted by Dad

Your perception of reality is distorted.

Call this what it is, because it has absolutely nothing to do with respect.

Doesn't happen often, but I agree with JRut on this one too. I am a few years younger than JRut, but there is no way a teenager is going to address me by my first name. It has everything to do with respect. When that teenager becomes one of my peers, then they can call me by my first name.

[bas2456]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I usually tell them, "Wrong sport" and smile and laugh.

Peace

I've had coaches call me blue before. Usually it's in a travel/AAU setting during the summer when the coach is a parent who also coaches baseball. I've played baseball/slow pitch softball all my life so I'll usually respond with a smile.

"Nothing beats fun at the old ballpark" - Harry Caray...maybe?

[Dad]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

OK, if you say so. I do not want kids calling me by my first name and in this arena they will not. It is that simple.

Peace

That's fine. I'm more addressing the idea of respect from a personal view. If a player calls you by your first name it could very well be out of respect. Ideally this wouldn't happen to you since you introduce yourself as Mr.X. In the event that it does happen, I'd hope you'd show him/her respect when telling them you didn't want them calling you by your first name.

[Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.]

Originally Posted by Dad

That's fine. I'm more addressing the idea of respect from a personal view. If a player calls you by your first name it could very well be out of respect. Ideally this wouldn't happen to you since you introduce yourself as Mr.X. In the event that it does happen, I'd hope you'd show him/her respect when telling them you didn't want them calling you by your first name.

There is not possible way that a player would be able to address me by first name because I do not introduce myself using my first name.

MTD, Sr.

[RedAndWhiteRef]

My first game, my partner (older guy) introduced himself as Mr. [last name] and then pointed to me. I stood there for a second before just saying my first name. I'm not much older than those kids!

My pregame:

"Hello everybody, I'm RedAndWhiteRef, that's [Partner], we'll be your officials today. Sportsmanship is the most important thing, if you have a question please ask us and we'd be happy to answer. Captains, keep your teams in line, everyone play good clean defense and let's have a good game."

30 seconds max.

[Rich]

Had a partner last night who, as U1, mentioned the black line all the way around. I was transported back in time.

[scrounge]

Originally Posted by Rich

Had a partner last night who, as U1, mentioned the black line all the way around. I was transported back in time.

Had that twice already this season!

Two years ago, I was on an 'unofficial' JV crew (paired up with same partners for about 8-10 games) with a dude that drove me crazy when he was R. His captains meeting was pretty much like this:

"Ok, we have a black line all around, as well as a black line here (gesturing prominently) for the center line. We will point to the spot for throw-ins; remember, that spot is only 3 feet wide. Play with your hands, not your feet. We'll try to talk you out of fouls but you have to listen to us. We'll say 'lane' if you're getting close to a 3 seconds call. Hand checks and contact are a point of emphasis this year. White talks to white, talks to . Make sure you hand the ball to an official when it's dead or we'll tee you up (yes, he always said that). Now who is the speaking captain (of course)? Lift up your sweater, let me see your number....ok, you are chosen as captains for your teams, we expect you to set the example and enforce sportsmanship. We'll come to you first if we have any problems (never once did I see him or anyone else actually ask to speak with a captain). Does anyone have any questions (no one ever does)? Ok, let's have a good clean game and have fun. That's why we're here, right? (he would keep saying 'right' till the kids gave a half-hearted 'yeah'). Ok ladies/gentleman, good luck."

I'm pretty sure he once said 'the basketball hoop is ten feet above the floor' but I may be imagining that. I think we all were daydreaming halfway thru that filibuster.

[Mregor]

Originally Posted by scrounge

Play with your hands, not your feet.

Must have had a lot of fouls if they followed his instructions.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Dad

That's fine. I'm more addressing the idea of respect from a personal view. If a player calls you by your first name it could very well be out of respect. Ideally this wouldn't happen to you since you introduce yourself as Mr.X. In the event that it does happen, I'd hope you'd show him/her respect when telling them you didn't want them calling you by your first name.

Actually I introduce my entire name, but thanks for playing. They still better not call me by my first name. And if a kid does not know how it is inappropriate, then they have bigger issues and someone is not teaching them how the world works. There are going to be a lot of situations in their lives where people are going to require them do to things they do not necessarily agree with and certainly when they are a kid. They are not equals with an adult. It is that simple.

Peace