Helping the rookie

[DRJ1960]

Worked recently in a 3 man crew where the more experienced referee was all over the rookie in our crew. Very critical in an aggressive and profane manner. I was having flashbacks to my football coaches 40 years ago. No matter how many times I redirected the conversation, found something positive to say etc. the aggressive criticism continued. After the game I walked out of the gym with the rookie. Any wisdom on what I should have said or what to say the next time I see him?
BTW-- this veteran and I are NOT close...talking to him is a waste of time---been there, done that.

[referee99]

... that in this business he will be working with a new partner every night. Have to learn to deal with them. As a newer official he will receive lots of 'feedback' on a nightly basis.
Teach him how to receive 'feedback', take what is relevant and usable and discard the rest.
Reiterate to him that not all officials know how to teach well.
Tell him this is a process that all officials go through.
Tell him he will learn each veteran official that he works with. Some of it will be what to do, and some of it will be what not to do.

[Raymond]

Tell him to focus more on the message, and whether or not to assimilate the info, and not to worry about the messenger.

[grunewar]

We have an official in our association that appears similar. A lot of experience, very book/rules smart, and calls a good game. Issue is, he is very condescending and similar to your story, cuts down junior officials and "picks nits.". I ran into him early in my career and it was very eye opening. I worked with him a few weeks ago - totally different story, as I have much more experience, and knew better how to handle him. It's a shame as he has much to offer junior officials - if it was done in the right way.

Personally, I try to coach and mentor the junior officials, give them some constructive criticism and help them along the way like others helped me.

Everyone was not meant to be a manager, a teacher, a mentor, a leader, etc. and some are rough around the edges. As was stated, listen to the message. Hear what others have to say and take from it what you wish.

Remember, "Even Saddam Husein had value, he could always be used as a bad example." Learn from others, even if it's - when I become a senior official, I don't want to be like him.

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

Tell him to focus more on the message, and whether or not to assimilate the info, and not to worry about the messenger.

Yeah I don't think there is any good that can come from confronting him. Take what works for you and move on.

[Freddy]

Originally Posted by DRJ1960

...Very critical in an aggressive and profane manner...

Feedback goes to the assigner.
Assigner verifies report and decides if it's worth keeping him in his assigning pool.
If multiple reports confirm chosen method of "mentoring", he's confronted by the assigner.
If not willing to rise to civil level of discourse, he's cut out like a cancer.

[BatteryPowered]

All great advice. Close with reminding him that some people are alive simply becasue it is against the law to kill them.

That usually helps with when dealing with a person like that.

[JRutledge]

Pick out the pennies and move on. Some people respond to that kind of stuff, some respond another way. I would just let the rookie know that everyone is not like that and remember how it feels and treat people with more respect in the future.

Peace