Dating a relative of a coach.

[zm1283]

Beards are not officially banned around here but it is an unwritten rule that they will hurt you more than help you. Just how it is. I shave every day anyway.

[Rooster]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

With all due respect that was not about a conflict of interest or having a relative attending one of the schools.

Peace

I got that, but I was just making reference to the idea of perception that johnny d brought up. I disagree with him that perception does not matter. I think it does matter and I think that the Ed Rush situation illustrates that. What he was actually saying in a meeting was different than what the public perceived. It cost him his job. Whether or not he should have said what he did is not the issue. And in fact what he said isn't the issue. The result of the perception is.

Originally Posted by johnny d

Who is this someone, fans, opposing coach, assignor, players? There is really only one person on this list whose opinion we should even be concerned about and if your assignor doesn't know you well enough or trust your integrity to work the game fairly than you have bigger problems than who your girlfriend is related to.

I do agree with johnny d that fans are going to perceive that we're trying to screw their team, regardless. But why throw gasoline on their fire?

Originally Posted by johnny d

Perception does not matter. Fans are going to think they got screwed regardless. Their only point of view is through their team-colored glasses. They don't need a reason or excuse to think you cheated them. Their opinion or perception has no meaning whatsoever.

[BillyMac]

Originally Posted by zm1283

Beards are not officially banned around here but it is an unwritten rule that they will hurt you more than help you. Just how it is. I shave every day anyway.

Around these parts, neatly trimmed facial hair (beards, and mustaches) are neither encouraged, nor are they discouraged (no joke, kind of like black belts).

Note that I said "neatly trimmed".

I worked a scrimmage with a young official this past weekend, a transfer from another state. He did an great job, judgment, and mechanics, were excellent. He was fit, and wore his uniform professionally. But he worked the scrimmage with two, or three, days stubble on his face. I don't believe that he was being lazy, I believe that this is the "look" that he was going for. My son, not an official, does the same thing, not shaving for a few day to achieve that "look".

Luckily, we don't evaluate officials in scrimmages, because I wouldn't know how to evaluate him under the evaluation heading, "overall appearance is neat, clean and well kept", that we use as part of our overall peer evaluations.

Comments?

[just another ref]

Originally Posted by just another ref

Last varsity game I called was a mile from my house. The head boys coach is on a short list of people that I've known for almost 50 years. We went all through school together. Most of the other coaches know this by now. If they have a problem with it, it's their problem, not mine, and it's never been mentioned to me. The problem I have is the opposite. The people I know best are the ones who complain the loudest, saying that I overcompensate and call against them.

Ran into the visiting coach from that game tonight at a tournament. We talked for a bit. I asked if he was aware that I went to school with the local coach, and if he considered it an issue. He said no and no.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Rooster

I got that, but I was just making reference to the idea of perception that johnny d brought up. I disagree with him that perception does not matter. I think it does matter and I think that the Ed Rush situation illustrates that. What he was actually saying in a meeting was different than what the public perceived. It cost him his job. Whether or not he should have said what he did is not the issue. And in fact what he said isn't the issue. The result of the perception is.

Perception matters in some things, but not everything. And it certainly does not matter if the powers that be do not care what fans or others uneducated believe. The situation with Ed Rush was a private situation made public. And how many times do we say things in private knowing darn well that if made public it would cause a problem? We are not talking about that here. If someone knows that you are related to someone, that does not mean their concerns are valid. I have first cousins that I am not at all close to and would not do anything to cause a problem for myself professionally.

Peace

[JRutledge]

As I stated before I already knew what I was going to do about this situation, I just wanted to start a conversation about these kinds of issues and wanted to see how far people think you should go to avoid conflicts.

Well I told the tournament director as I was already going to tell him. Actually we had a conversation about this earlier before the schedule for the teams was final and he agreed to move me to an earlier game. I swapped with another official and it was confirmed a day or so after the original conversation.

I also only did this because my girlfriend and this cousin are close. They talk often and do things family related. And for a few of you that are my FB friend, he is all over my page with family photos and comments because of his closeness with my girlfriend. That is the only reason I thought about making this an issue. If they were just cousins and probably did not talk that much it might have been uncomfortable. Not for me, but for those that could have tried to make an issue of of this connection. And I would have been OK if there could be no accommodation, but I did not want anyone to suggest I was favoring him or my talking to him had any association with our relationship. He is a good guy and he did not think it was a big deal, but I had to do what I had to do.

So in the end everything should go smoothly. I just have to get up earlier after a holiday.

Peace

[walt]

i would talk it over with your assignor and maybe asked to switch someone else working the tournament. Perception will become your reality so why risk a perceived conflict/favoritism allegation. If they can't switch you, I would give turn it back. You have spent a long time building a rep, why risk it over one game no matter what the level?