Coach and Player Confrontation

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by Old School

1) Do you have anything to add or do you just always like to shoot the messenger.

2) If I am understanding you correctly, once you reach a certain age or point in your career, you should never ask for advise? Am I understanding you correctly?

1) Translation: No, I do not and never have owned a rule book. And what is this "case book" thingy that I keep hearing so much about?

2) No, Nevada is saying that once you reach a certain age, you should retire. In your particular case, that age was whatever you were yesterday.

[Junker]

Why worry about something that has nothing to do with your part of the game? Why worry about the poor kid being "abused"? It sounds to me like he wasn't being abused, he was being benched, which happens on occasion in the game of basketball. Maybe the kid needed to have his butt chewed. It sounds suspiciously as though the player didn't understand his role. The coach decides who is going to be on the floor. The player plays. On the other hand, maybe the coach was a jerk. He can be a jerk all he wants to his players. If it's that bad maybe mom and dad need to get the kid on a different team or find a new coach. It isn't my business as an official until it is directed at me or my partners. If you're that worried about how a player feels...go coach and do it better than the one you talked about in the OP.

[mick]

Originally Posted by Junker

Why worry about something that has nothing to do with your part of the game? Why worry about the poor kid being "abused"?

I found Old School's scenario interesting. I think it's good food for thought.

And now that I thunk it and wrote about it, if in the realm of Third World plays it happens, I think I am at least a 1/2-step closer to dealing with it.

[M&M Guy]

Originally Posted by mick

I found Old School's scenario interesting. I think it's good food for thought.

And now that I thunk it and wrote about it, if in the realm of Third World plays it happens, I think I am at least a 1/2-step closer to dealing with it.

A 1/2-step which way?

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Junker

Why worry about something that has nothing to do with your part of the game? Why worry about the poor kid being "abused"? It sounds to me like he wasn't being abused, he was being benched, which happens on occasion in the game of basketball. Maybe the kid needed to have his butt chewed.

The problem is everything is not abuse. If you get in someone's face you are being abusive. If you tell someone how you feel, it is abusive. If you use one foul word, it is abusive.

There are several generations that were literally knocked up side the head and they did not go around and shoot up a school.

If anything this just shows the fundamental problem in our society. Parents and adults would rather be friends with children than being the bad guy or gal and disciplining children. If that means you have to raise your voice then do so. My God Alec Baldwin is being roasted for getting upset with his child, who he takes care of BTW. I wish that was the only thing my parents said to me when they got angry and I did a lot less.

I know most will not agree with me, but I could never imagine myself even getting upset over this confrontation. It sounded like a little spoiled brat not being able to play a game and someone not putting up with his crap. We really need to stop treating kids today as if they are so innocent. There are kids his age that have committed capital crimes and we are afraid to hurt their feelings during an extra-curricular activity?

Peace

[Adam]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I know most will not agree with me, but I could never imagine myself even getting upset over this confrontation. It sounded like a little spoiled brat not being able to play a game and someone not putting up with his crap. We really need to stop treating kids today as if they are so innocent. There are kids his age that have committed capital crimes and we are afraid to hurt their feelings during an extra-curricular activity?

I don't think I've ever agreed with you more, Jeff. Well put.

Originally Posted by Snaqwells

I don't think I've ever agreed with you more, Jeff. Well put.

Uhh yeah what that guy said!

[rockyroad]

In the original situation, why not just hit the whistle, turn toward the bench and loudly say "Is there a problem here?" at which point player and coach would both have sheepishly sat down and stfu...if they didn't, then move on to whacking and tossing...it ain't rocket science.

[mick]

Originally Posted by rockyroad

In the original situation, why not just hit the whistle, turn toward the bench and loudly say "Is there a problem here?" at which point player and coach would both have sheepishly sat down and stfu...if they didn't, then move on to whacking and tossing...it ain't rocket science.

See? Like I said. Good post.
If it happens yer ready.

[mick]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

It sounded like a little spoiled brat not being able to play a game and someone not putting up with his crap.

Interesting, Rut.
I got locked in on the Coach who sounded like a spoiled brat, although, a hunert years ago, when my coach yelled or hit us with a clipboard, I don't remember "yelling back" as even being an option.

[M&M Guy]

Rut,

I may not agree with the teams you root for, but I agree with what you said.

You may be older than you let on...

Originally Posted by JRutledge

There are several generations that were literally knocked up side the head and they did not go around and shoot up a school.

If anything this just shows the fundamental problem in our society. Parents and adults would rather be friends with children than being the bad guy or gal and disciplining children.

I know most will not agree with me, but I could never imagine myself even getting upset over this confrontation. It sounded like a little spoiled brat not being able to play a game and someone not putting up with his crap.

I don't know if this problem relates to babies having babies, today's choice of drug(s), the video games or the liberalist. But this generation sure as hell aren't built like we were! I'm a 70s baby & sure there were problem children back then too, but we weren't as horrid as today's generation... were we

[Junker]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

The problem is everything is not abuse. If you get in someone's face you are being abusive. If you tell someone how you feel, it is abusive. If you use one foul word, it is abusive.

There are several generations that were literally knocked up side the head and they did not go around and shoot up a school.

If anything this just shows the fundamental problem in our society. Parents and adults would rather be friends with children than being the bad guy or gal and disciplining children. If that means you have to raise your voice then do so. My God Alec Baldwin is being roasted for getting upset with his child, who he takes care of BTW. I wish that was the only thing my parents said to me when they got angry and I did a lot less.

I know most will not agree with me, but I could never imagine myself even getting upset over this confrontation. It sounded like a little spoiled brat not being able to play a game and someone not putting up with his crap. We really need to stop treating kids today as if they are so innocent. There are kids his age that have committed capital crimes and we are afraid to hurt their feelings during an extra-curricular activity?

Peace

Well said. I actually tried writing a similar post, but would have gone on for 3 pages so I opted for what I wrote.

[Adam]

You have no idea what these kids are going through or how tough they are; their coach is far more qualified to make that judgment than an official who sees them for about an hour. I can tell you the easiest way to become a former official is to start telling a coach how to do his job. Then, suddenly, you're coaching a 5th grade AAU team yelling at the refs and telling them you should know because you used to ref varsity ball.

These coaches are responsible to enough people; we don't need to get involved. If for no other reason, it detracts from our appearance of objectivity. We can't afford that loss.

[mick]

Originally Posted by Snaqwells

These coaches are responsible to enough people; we don't need to get involved. If for no other reason, it detracts from our appearance of objectivity. We can't afford that loss.

Snaqwells,
Somehow singling out and yelling at a kid in front of God and everyone else still doesn't feel like the reponsible direction of an alleged adult.
By ignoring that, are we not condoning the distraction?