Being young...

[rainmaker]

Originally Posted by CLH

Ok guys, I'm getting a bit frustrated. So, I'm 23 and in my 6th season, I'm one of the top officials in my league, I get the good games here, I've been to playoffs and Regionals. But, I feel like I just can't get over the hump of being a good official, to a great one. I can work my butt off in a game, and it always seems like theres one call or one stupid little thing that stands out, to me, my coaches, or my partners that jacks up the whole night. I've been to college camps and I feel the same way, all evaluators think I'm already working college ball and tell me I should be, and yet I'm still in high school. My camp games seem same way, work a great game, but theres that one little thing that screws up the whole thing. Anyone ever feel like this, and if so how did or what did you do to correct it?

CLH

I haven't done any college ball, and haven't even been offered any, so I can't speak from the inside of that angle.

But I do expect that your young age may be a little against you. I'd give it another year or two before you really start fretting. Also, you might think about changing your way of thinking about the game. You're never going to be "there". Don't even try. When you are unwilling to settle for anything but perfection, then it only takes one small dink to ruin everything. The trick is to learn the sort of zen attitude of doing the best you can right now. This is also useful when you're working several levels at once.

"Here I am in a boys 6A varsity play-off. I need to be attentive here, fast here, hold the whistle there, listen to this, say that, and keep my self right here."

"Now I'm helping out a friend doing a 6th grade girls game, I'm walking slowly, signalin this, saying that, coaxing here, encouraging there, ignoring that, calling this, correcting this mis conception, sympathizing with that one, and doing this game right here right now."

I'm definitely not a Zen kinda gal, but I've been finding that this attitude is very much more practical and functional in giving the appearance of confidence and calm control. And that appearance is what always will carry you to the next level. It's not the mistakes that will hold you back, it's the fluster after the mistakes.

At least, that's how it appears to me.

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by rainmaker

When you are unwilling to settle for anything but perfection, then it only takes one small dink to ruin everything.

And Chuck is the small dink that would do that too!!

Gone but not forgotten.....


Chuck Elias

[truerookie]

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

And Chuck is the small dink that would do that too!!

Gone but not forgotten.....


Chuck Elias

JR, What happen to Chuck?

[Dan_ref]

Who's Chuck?

[bigdogrunnin]

"What's up Chuck?" - sorry, couldn't resist.

CLH, BE PATIENT! Your time will come. Something I have heard many times is that "when you are the best at where you are at, then you are ready to move on." Work at being the best at where you are, and your opportunities will present themselves.

I have been officiating for about 8 years now, and for the last 2-3 years I really believed I was one of the best in my Chapter. Then I started going to camps . . . and I was humbled very quickly. I too, received great reviews and critiques, and I have been told I should already be calling college ball, and yet I am not. I don't get discouraged though. The opportunity to call college games is a GOAL. Once that goal is reached, I will set another goal. Until then, I can only control what I have control over.

Where my officiating is concerned, that means, dressing professionally when going to games (I always wear slacks, dress shirt, and a tie, and many times I wear a jacket). It tells coaches and administrators that I want to be taken seriously, and that I take my responsibilities as an official seriously. I always have my uniform in prestine condition. I always hustle during the game. I always communicate with the coaches and players in a professional and courteous way. I always study and re-study the rules. I always ask other officials (more experienced) for their opinions and critiques of my officiating. When I can, I give coaches a blank tape and a SASE to send me a copy of the game film so I can evaluate my performance in that game (self-evaluation). I go to camps. I meet people. I talk with other officials. I hang out with officials that already call college games, and listen to their experiences. (If you want to make millions of dollars you don't hang out with the "fry-guy" at McDonald's to learn how, you hang out with people who make millions of dollars! Same with officials . . . if you want to go to the next level, spend time with people who are already there, not with 15-year veterans who still get a GREAT JH schedule each year.)

What I am saying is that focus on those things that YOU have ultimate control over, and the rest will happen on its own. If you focus on those circumstances and decisions you do not control, you will get more and more frustrated until you eventually get bitter, and maybe even quit!

OH, and HAVE FUN! I left a VG Tournament Championship game yesterday and as I walked out the door I remember thinking that I would have done the game for free. That is how much fun I had! I think it should be that way across the board. But that is just me. Best wishes and stay positive!

[CLH]

So what you guys are telling me is quit worrying! haha. I'm a perfectionist in everything I do, and even more so with officiating. I try to do all the little things others don't, have my uniform fitted, wear coat and tie to games, get films all that. It just drives me nuts when I see some guys getting picked up, and I think what the hell are they doing I'm not. I dropped nearly 50lbs in the last few years because I knew I didn't look athletic. Now I weigh about 155 and try to work out, I look alot better.

Oh, and Aggie, its too late, officiating already runs my life. Ask my friends, I watch NBA games, and they automatically ask me who's calling, sad thing is I usually know within a few seconds.

CLH

[rainmaker]

Originally Posted by CLH

So what you guys are telling me is quit worrying! haha. I'm a perfectionist in everything I do, and even more so with officiating. I try to do all the little things others don't, have my uniform fitted, wear coat and tie to games, get films all that. It just drives me nuts when I see some guys getting picked up, and I think what the hell are they doing I'm not. I dropped nearly 50lbs in the last few years because I knew I didn't look athletic. Now I weigh about 155 and try to work out, I look alot better.

Oh, and Aggie, its too late, officiating already runs my life. Ask my friends, I watch NBA games, and they automatically ask me who's calling, sad thing is I usually know within a few seconds.

CLH

If what you're doing isn't working, try something else. Perhaps relaxing and getting a life would be a good thing to do, and it might actually help your game.

Of course your uniform should fit, but you may not need to "get it fitted". Of course you should dress nicely when you go to games, but coat and tie is overkill for going to a girls' jv game. Unless that's what you wear all day, and it's just fastest and easiest to show up that way.

If officiating really, truly does run your life, you need to deal with that. A lot of refs joke around about that, but we don't really mean that we are literally addicted. If you are, it's not a good thing. Get some help. I'm not saying this to be critical or harsh, just to express the reality that I see. If you really, truly never get picked up for college ball, will you be able to let go and find something else to do with your life? You've got to keep a perspective now, or you'll won't be able to find one later.

[Ref_ Fred]

CLh,

Don't worry, You have time to still make it. What I didn't hear you say in any of your posts is that you are having fun doing this. I'm not saying this is your problem but maybe have a smile. Look like you are enjoying your refereeing. I started 7 years ago and I'm 50 now. I had some looks this year and as soon as they hear my age. They give me that you should be doing some college ball. I can sympathizes with your frusttration, but It will happen one day. Rainmaker made a comment that you are still young. by 25 you will be a made man in the world of officiating. hang in and good luck.. Keep the faith..

[Ref Daddy]

Originally Posted by truerookie

JR, What happen to Chuck?

Chuck took his 8,600 posts and called it a career:
A Fond Farewell

[JRutledge]

I think what most people have said are pretty much right on. I can only add a couple of things that I feel are relevant.

I think you need to ask the people around you directly what you need to do or what you need to improve on. It is one thing to feel you are good, but I am sure other people have an opinion beyond what you are thinking. Not to say you are not good or are not one of the better officials around, but do other officials/assignors feel the same way? You have to have people that feel similar to the way you think your ability is. It is very possible that two things do not match up the way you think they do. No one here realistically knows what you need to work on and what is going to help you advance or hold you back.

Secondly, the amount of focus you take to officiating is very personal. Even though I agree with what Texas Aggie said on many levels, but that might not apply completely to you. If you are not married or do not have kids, your focus can be very different. Not all of us have the same family obligations to consider. I do not have any children and I like to be out of the house as much as possible. I also do not want to officiate every single night either. I admit that I work my regular job to officiate. That might not work for everyone but that is OK. You have to find the balance that works for you. That also does not mean that you already do not have that balance. You might have to take your officiating more seriously than you already are taking it. There is much more to being a good official than showing up and working the games. You might need a mentor at the college level. You might need to attend more meetings or more social events to meet other experienced officials and talk to them. I learn more at social events about how to get assignments and learn new contacts than any other place. I also would suggest that you treat this like a business. I know that you might not hear that from other people, but if you are making money doing something, it does not make a lot of sense to me to treat this only as a hobby. All your expenses, your schedule and how you are perceived are no different than any other business you might be involved in. If you go to a camp you have to convince assignors that they want to use your business. Everything needs to be in order or you will not get hired. You are only 23. You have plenty of time to get it together. By the time you are 30 you will be more than ready for that first opportunity than you are right now.

Peace

[LarryS]

When I add my time contraints during the last few summers to the fact that college ball is not a goal of mine, it adds up to me having never attended a college camp...so forgive me if my thought is taboo.

When you go to a college try-out camp and don't get picked up, do you ask the reason(s) you were not selected?

About a year ago I interviewed a young man for a position in my company. He was a good candidate but seemed a little "high brow" during the interview...and that worried me when I thought about how he would fit in with the company culture. When I offered the position to the other finalist, he called me and we spoke for about 30 minutes. While he was disappointed, he thanked me and said he would keep my thoughts in mind while working for his current employer and in future interviews. Six months later, he called and thanked me again when he was offered a better position with another company.

While it may not be possible to get post-camp feedback from the assignor, there should be someone that can give you insight. It may simply be a case of you looking too young for their personal taste. If so, there is nothing you can do but keep working hard, enjoy the games you are calling and keep saying "Good morning" to people for as many mornings as possible.

Sounds like you are willing to work hard and educate yourself...fine virtues. Patience is another good virtue...

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by rainmaker

And that appearance is what always will carry you to the next level.

Juulie's right. In fact, it's her "appearance" that encourages me to schedule her for 3rd and 4th grade girls games in our rec league.

[Texas Aggie]

I was in the same boat you guys were in more than a decade ago. 23-24, with a few years under my belt and good reviews from camps and college assignors, decent schedule and some college games. I have looked older than I really am for a while, so that helped me a little, but I realize now I had a lot of immaturity. I believe maturity level (and that covers a LOT of things) is the absolute hardest thing humans (particularly men) can be objective at. Believe me, I had immaturities about me in my 30s, so this isn't age specific, and at 23, you've got a long way to go before immaturity is actually a negative for you.

The problem is that you can't learn maturity from anything but experience and years. Once you hit around 35, I think you'll start to see things about yourself that you didn't realize when younger. The best advice I can give you now is to be patient. Work your opportunities, but don't overwork them -- i.e., don't put yourself in a position that's over your head. Try to be as realistic about yourself as possible, and ask others to evaluate you. If you are working high level high school games at 23, you are far ahead of the vast majority of officials out there.

Also realize that the caveat, be careful what you wish for, is absolutely true. I didn't think it was when I was younger. I set all my goals up, not realizing the time and effort it would take to reach them. Not so much from a hard work standpoint, but from a sacrifice standpoint. When I got married, my perspectives and focus changed. Officiating wasn't as important as it had been. I got out of the game for a while, and don't really regret that, though I sort of wish I had gotten back in a few years sooner, but that's OK.

Finally, don't make officiating your entire life. I know sometimes it seems like it is with the time involved, but excel in your professional AND personal life as well. I believe that if you seek excellence in everything, everything else will take care of itself.