Communication Skills to Coaches & Players.

[Official99]

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

1) Initiate conversations? Without a real reason for doing so? Well, if that works for you, good luck to you. Personally, I think that's absolutely terrible advice. Imo, the last thing in the world that the players and coaches want to do out there is form a meaningful relationship with an official. They just want to play the game without someone breaking their concentration with meaningless chit-chat. You can be positive and approachable out there without sucking up to players and coaches, which is what you are basically advocating. Initiating dialogue for game management reasons is fine; being a cheerleader isn't. Just do your job well as an official; that'll get you the acceptance that you're looking for.

2) Well, that's kinda confusing. Of course we only only blow our whistles when someone does something wrong. That's why we're out there, isn't it? Why would we blow our whistles when they do something right? I hate to say it, but I think that you might be wearing the wrong uniform; it sounds like a cheerleader's outfit might be more appropriate. I also hate to tell you, but the first call that you make that someone doesn't agree with, you're gonna be just a regular ol' official azzhole again instead of Doctor Phil.

3) Well........forget it. I don't think that you'd get it anyway, and you sureasheck aren't gonna agree with me. I don't have to work with you anyway, so I don't have to worry about my back.

First of all, I never said I suck up to the players or the coaches.

Second of all, I am not a cheerleader, I am a referee!

Thirdly, I never said we blow our whistles for them doing something right.

Did you read anything I wrote? The benefit of talking to the players during the game (that I have found) is when I do make that call that they may disagree with me on, they don't go overboard in their displeasure. In fact, they usually come up and talk to me - they ask "why did you make that call?" or "why didn't I get that call?" - rather than yelling.

I am not sure what level games you referee, but I have worked my way up from the youth level to college with the same philosophy. I have traveled as far away as Las Vegas for games (from NH that is a long ways). I have done games in front of Lute Olson among many other great coaches. My philosophy works and that's all that matters. Thanks for disagreeing with me.

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by Official99

First of all, I never said I suck up to the players or the coaches.

Second of all, I am not a cheerleader, I am a referee!

Thirdly, I never said we blow our whistles for them doing something right.

Did you read anything I wrote? The benefit of talking to the players during the game (that I have found) is when I do make that call that they may disagree with me on, they don't go overboard in their displeasure. In fact, they usually come up and talk to me - they ask "why did you make that call?" or "why didn't I get that call?" - rather than yelling.

I am not sure what level games you referee, but I have worked my way up from the youth level to college with the same philosophy. I have traveled as far away as Las Vegas for games (from NH that is a long ways). I have done games in front of Lute Olson among many other great coaches. My philosophy works and that's all that matters. Thanks for disagreeing with me.

The level of games that I work or haven't worked isn't relevant as far as I'm concerned. What I post here is. Just take it fwiw; you don't have to agree with it. I don't believe in posting my resume, and I certainly don't expect everyone to agree with me. Apparently you do believe in posting your resume, thinking that it might mean something. Sorry. Unfortunately, your resume doesn't really mean much to me at at all.

Iow, I didn't expect you to agree with me anyway, right from the git-go

Btw, since you did post your resume, when you said you're working "college", you do mean at the D1 level, don't you? What D1 conferences are you currently working in? Just wondering...

Hey, if you think being Mr. Nice Guy means that you ain't gonna get crap from players, then you're living in a dream world imo. But, hey, if it works for you, great. Again imo though, any official is only as good as his last call...and if that last call went against a team, right or wrong, then all the sucking around and cheerleading in the world ain't gonna help you.

It is too bad though that you don't show the same concern for your partners that you do for the players/coaches.

Again, jmo, like it or not.

[M&M Guy]

Originally Posted by Official99

...rather than just attacking like most other people on this site. Thankfully, half of these guys I will never meet, nor do I ever want to meet.

Let me apologize for attacking you. I thought I was just giving my opinion on communication between partners.

Originally Posted by Official99

First of all, I never said I suck up to the players or the coaches.

Second of all, I am not a cheerleader, I am a referee!

I'm 100% sure you feel this way. But here's something to consider: how does it appear to other people? Are other people, who aren't involved in your conversation, 100% sure you aren't sucking up to the players or coaches? How do you know the players really don't think you are sucking up to them? After all, other refs don't talk to them that often. How do you know A1 isn't thinking you're a complete jerk for not commenting on his dunk, when you said, "Nice move" to B2 earlier? Perception may not always be what you think it is.

Talking to players and coaches is an art; not everyone has the ability to pull it off effectively. As you can even see just on this forum, it is difficult to get your point across without someone jumping on it, even though you might actually agree in principle. Sometimes talking to players does help. But I've also seen it backfire many times. So, unless you know for sure your way prevents more problems than it causes, it's best to err on the side of not talking as much. It has been mentioned many times around here that no one can quote silence.

There was a women that went into a specialty shop and was looking at a bag of imported walnuts. The young male clerk came up and asked if he could help. She said, "No thanks, I'm just looking at your nuts." Innocent response, but not exactly what she intended. Just be careful the same thing doesn't happen on the court by talking too much.

[Official99]

I think you guys are misunderstanding what I mean by "talking to the players".

I don't speak directly to an individual player unless I am answering a question or warning them and at that time I am doing just that. When I said I like talking to the players, I like talking to them as a group. For example, when I am the lead and administering a free throw, I will tell the players "good hustle gentlemen" or when I breaking up a loose ball dive, I will say something like "strong work boys." I very rarely say something to an individual player or team, I try and keep my encouragement comments to all the players on the court. And if the post play is getting rough I will say something like "fella's keep in legal."

So, hopefully you understand, I am not kissing up or sucking up to any players.

[Nate1224hoops]

Originally Posted by Official99

First of all, I never said I suck up to the players or the coaches.

Second of all, I am not a cheerleader, I am a referee!

Thirdly, I never said we blow our whistles for them doing something right.

Did you read anything I wrote? The benefit of talking to the players during the game (that I have found) is when I do make that call that they may disagree with me on, they don't go overboard in their displeasure. In fact, they usually come up and talk to me - they ask "why did you make that call?" or "why didn't I get that call?" - rather than yelling.

I am not sure what level games you referee, but I have worked my way up from the youth level to college with the same philosophy. I have traveled as far away as Las Vegas for games (from NH that is a long ways). I have done games in front of Lute Olson among many other great coaches. My philosophy works and that's all that matters. Thanks for disagreeing with me.

Official99, this is a great message board. Nearly everyone in here will lend a helping line or two. Most here will tell you when you do/did something wrong and tell you how to improve. Some, not mentioning names (juraassic), will only tell you how stupid you are and NOT fail to mention their perfect ways. Some peoples screenname will give it away...JURASSSSic Ref...that tells you all you need to know right there.
Keep your head up. This is a great place to share your ideas.

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by Nate1224hoops

Official99, this is a great message board. Nearly everyone in here will lend a helping line or two. Most here will tell you when you do/did something wrong and tell you how to improve. Some, not mentioning names (juraassic), will only tell you how stupid you are and NOT fail to mention their perfect ways. Some peoples screenname will give it away...JURASSSSic Ref...that tells you all you need to know right there.
Keep your head up. This is a great place to share your ideas.

Again, good luck coaching, Nate. Wise choice. Seriously.

[Nate1224hoops]

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

Again, good luck coaching, Nate. Wise choice. Seriously.

Thanks a lot Juraaassssic. I think it was a great opportunity also. Seriously, cut the new guys a break. Present you thoughtful, objective material in a nicer way. Kindness really does go a long way. And good luck with your upcoming season as well. As I am sure you will drive many partners, coaches, players, and fans nuts with you JURASSIC OFFICIATING.