Being young sucks

[SMEngmann]

As a young official, I think that everyone on this board given some great advice, but the best piece of advice is to find at least one mentor and get advice from as many senior officials as possible. That truly is the best way to improve your whole game. With regards to appearance, I take it as a matter of pride to be in the best possible shape that I can be in. I truly believe that showing up not only looking athletic but also refereeing like an athlete (great hustle up and down the court, beating the players on a fastbreak, etc) goes a long way toward enhancing your credibility as an official. I think one of the reasons why coaches go after young officials is because they don't see them as athletes, and showing up in great shape dispels that.

The other aspect that has been discussed is game management. Some coaches think they can intimidate new officials and badger them and often they can. In my dealings with coaches, I simply try to be professional and I won't get into confrontations with coaches. I am very open and will listen to questions, but as soon as the tone turns critical, I let the coach have the last word and get out of there. If a T is warranted, I'll call the T and end the discussion there. Some officials will stand and argue a rule interpretation or take offense to comments and continue a discussion, I will not be that guy, no matter what the coach says. The final thing is that you can't be afraid to use the technical foul, there's nothing worse from a personal and game management standpoint than to know you should have called a T or ejected someone, but that you were afraid to do so for whatever justification.

[Nevadaref]

I'm 29 and started officiating NFHS games at 21. I started in MD/DC, did 5 years, and then moved to Nevada.
My perception is that when coaches see a new face, they form an opinion based on appearance.
If the official looks young, they think that he is inexperienced. If the official looks old or overweight, they think he is slow and will be out of position.
Basically, you just have to deal with these first impressions.
After a few years in MD/DC most of the coaches learned to accept me and weren't worried about my youth.
After moving to Nevada, I had to start over with the coach/official relationships. Most coaches thought I was a rookie. For many of them, it only took a couple of calls and a quarter or two of basketball before they accepted me. For some coaches, it took a warning, and for a select few it took a T.
I agree with those who wrote that a lot has to do with how you carry yourself and how you interact with the coach, but mostly it just takes some time and experience working games for that coach. He needs to see you and learn a bit about you before the comfort zone sets in.

Lastly, I think this was a very interesting question, but I have had a harder time because of my age with other officials, not with the coaches.
I think some of it is jealousy. Many of the local veterans had the attitude that I shouldn't be assigned to certain games because I didn't have enough experience. I found one particular case amusing when a 10-year year guy, learned that I had 8 years, just this past season! He kept going around saying that I was a 3rd year official. I guess it is similar with fellow officials until they see you work a few games and get to know you, their early perception based on appearance will be dominant.
Bottom line:
If you work hard and are good, you'll get your shot. Some sooner than others. Don't worry too much.

[Hawks Coach]

Originally posted by Nevadaref
Lastly, I think this was a very interesting question, but I have had a harder time because of my age with other officials, not with the coaches.
I think some of it is jealousy. Many of the local veterans had the attitude that I shouldn't be assigned to certain games because I didn't have enough experience. I found one particular case amusing when a 10-year year guy, learned that I had 8 years, just this past season!

I am not surprised - this happens in every workplace. The young person that advances quickly, or the youthful looking person who has advanced, frequently draew the jealousy of older co-workers, especially those who have ceased advancing. You are a threat.

Again, these are valuable life lessons. Learn how to deal with them on the court and you will be much better equipped for life off the court. Officiating is a hobby, albeit one that pays and one that requires investment of self rather than money. But you can certainly use the lessons in many other situations that can pay quite well.

[ref18]

Originally posted by SMEngmann
The final thing is that you can't be afraid to use the technical foul, there's nothing worse from a personal and game management standpoint than to know you should have called a T or ejected someone, but that you were afraid to do so for whatever justification.

That's the main problem, the thing that's going around is that I'm, giving out too many T's. When I was at a camp last summer, there was a situation where I should've T'd a coach, but I looked the other way. The evaluator from that game gave me some great advice, "If you go home regretting not giving out a technical, you should've given it" I took this advice to heart, and I have no regrets this year.

[JugglingReferee]

Originally posted by ref18
First of all, thanks for all the suggestions, I'm 17 years old, 3 years of reffing behind me. I work a lot of the rep ball in my area. I've only reffed one game with players who are older than grade 8. In the beginning of the season I saw quite a bit of rec-leauge. I think I did just over 200 games this year.

I've invested quite a bit into my appearance, (patent leather shoes, beltless pants, etc).

The main thing that has me looking back on the season negatively is that I hear that my name is flying around the association in a negative way, because of the way I deal with coaches. This has me looking back on all the altercations I've had over the season, and I think that I've handled them all well and according to the rules, but I'm trying to figure out whether I'm calling too much, or the other people aren't calling enough.

Hey J,

I bet this is frustrating. I've been there myself. Does your board have a mentoring program? If it does, I would make good use of it. See if you can get great refs to come out and watch you - Foxy and belcher are excellent examples. Or even to ref with you... a guy like Foxy could easily ref a grade 8 game with you, while observing you as well. We have them here in KW, and call them "Partner Evaluations".

Also, in regards to the negativity, I personally think it is quite immature of these people to toss around your name like they are doing. I'm guessing that they're adults who don't realize that you're only 17. And although you've been reffing for 3 years, and probably an intelligent 17, you'll find that you will mature /alot/ in the upcoming years.

I bet that the years from 19 - 21/22 will be fantastic for you. You'll have had a number of years behind you to perfect and find your style of mechanics. You'll know the rule and case books inside out (or at least I think by then that you should, if you don't already). You should be in a position to be working solely on issues like game mgmt, flow, dealing with coaches, etc.

As better assignments come along, see if you can work with your mentor, or someone you can trust who will not turn around and bash your name behind your back.

[Adam]

Originally posted by ref18
The main thing that has me looking back on the season negatively is that I hear that my name is flying around the association in a negative way, because of the way I deal with coaches. This has me looking back on all the altercations I've had over the season, and I think that I've handled them all well and according to the rules, but I'm trying to figure out whether I'm calling too much, or the other people aren't calling enough.

ref18,
I'm only offering this as something to think about. Not having seen you ref, nor having to deal with coaches like I see mentioned on this board (even AAU coaches here seem rather tame in comparison), my thoughts should be taken as nothing more than a blind suggestion.

Someone else caught on to your use of the word "altercations." In order to have an altercation, you need two participants (at least). In all honesty, there is never a good time to have an altercation with a coach. If a coach has a legitimate question, answer it quickly. If he wants to gripe about a call, let him make his point as long as he doesn't get personal. A simple acknowledgment usually is sufficient to diffuse it; a look or simply, "I hear you coach."
After that, give him the stop sign, verbalized with, "That's enough, coach." If he continues, make sure he is talking to himself. Wack him if he goes too far (that's your line). However, this should not be an altercation. Your conversation will only be with your partner or the table from here on out.

My suggestion is to contact your assignor (if you have one) and ask him/her for honest feedback on this issue. Ask yourself some questions as well. Have you ever done or said anything that could have been considered "baiting" by an observer?

Basically, if a coach wants to escalate a situation beyond the courteous and polite, let him do it alone. Don't show anger, don't defend yourself, and don't get into a battle of wits. If he escalates it himself, it is then obvious to everyone that he went out of his way to get the T.

[SMEngmann]

Ref18, I agree with that advice and it has served me well. I too have gained some noteriety among my peers especially by calling a lot of technicals this year. I'm a member of several local associations and I saw a lot of new coaches this year and by and large after I saw a coach that I called a technical on for the second or third time, the lines of communication were much more open. Calling technicals, in my opinion, is not a bad thing so long as the technical is dignified and you don't get into an exchange with a coach, let him have the last word and move on.

As for the negativity surrounding your name in your association, I think you can put that in a positive light. As a young official myself, I think it's much better to be a topic of conversation in your association, even if the comments are negative, than to just be another body who is ignored. The fact that you've drawn that sort of attention tells me that people think enough of your ability to discuss your game. While many of the comments may be negative, as long as you avoid being standoffish and if you take some of their advice, you can significantly improve, and that improvement will be duly noticed by your fellow officials. It's better that people in your organization know who you are than if they just didn't care.

[rainmaker]

Originally posted by SMEngmann
As for the negativity surrounding your name in your association, I think you can put that in a positive light. As a young official myself, I think it's much better to be a topic of conversation in your association, even if the comments are negative, than to just be another body who is ignored. The fact that you've drawn that sort of attention tells me that people think enough of your ability to discuss your game.

It depends a lot on what KIND of negativity, I think. "That guy is so hopeless!" is a lot different from, "I don't know what he thinks he's accomplishing by ticking off every coach that says a word to him. He'll never get anywhere with an attitude like that." The second one says, "Hey, he's got a good chance to be a great ref except for this one problem." Otherwise, I agree with you about folks talking about your game being a good thing.

Especially if you can surprise them next year with the amount of improvement. THAT's the best thing anyone can do!

[KingTripleJump]

I started doing high school varsity at 18 and have been doing it ever since. (and I'm only 22 now).

Do I think some of the bs I get from coaches is because of my age? - yes. Does it affect me? - not really. I just keep doing my game. If that involves T's, then so be it. But I've actally received a crap load of compliments from coaches.

[footlocker]

Originally posted by ShadowStripes
When coaches cross the line to earn the "T" (and they will), make sure that line is at the end of a distance race, not a sprint.

Great post. I'd like to see you expound on this a little though.

[offball]

First off, let me congratulate you for even taking the time outside of your season to improve your officiating skills. That is not always a gimme, with new (or many other) officials. When I first started (15+ years ago), I had confidence, was loud, knew I was good, and told everyone who would listen. Well, a couple of missed rule interpretations and the ensuing chaos in one of my first "big-for-me" games and the resulting visit with the association's officers, made me re-evaluate things.

1) I was an "okay" official... it was still WAY to early to tell if I could/would go far.

2) My rules knowledge was lacking. Yes, I passed the tests, but I was never the one who was asked about such and such rule, etc. Strive to be the guy who everyone asks for information on ALL the rules. Note: I am not saying this type of person necessarily becomes a great official.

3) Knowledge of the game/officiating was lacking. Yup, I played in HS/College and I repeat... Knowledge was lacking. Watch other officials in and out of your association work. If it is accepted in your pool/association... be present for their pregames, halftimes and postgame. LISTEN to what they talk about, remember you are not there for unsolicited comments. Being present for a few of these meeting, will go a long ways towards (re)building your credibility with your peers.

4) I was deemed "unapproachable".. heck I didn't even fully understand what that meant. After some time, I kind of believed this came from things like.. selling ALL my calls, not taking ANYTHING from coaches (players are different), and probably arrogance. Just do your best with becoming "approachable" by your definition. I am not saying you have to be anyone's best friend out there, work on body language/facial expressions when talking to coaches, etc.

There is a ton of things a person can do while you are learning, a lot of things in this thread apply so I tried not to go over them again. Take it from experience, listen to the old guys, lol, they were in your shoes once too believe it or not.

[ace]

Great post off-ball - even though it was intended for Ref18 it made me think about some things... KingTriple, what chapter are you from?

[rainmaker]

Originally posted by offball
Take it from experience, listen to the old guys, lol, they were in your shoes once too believe it or not.

Not me, I'm an old "guy" (loose interpretation), and I was never in his shoes. I didn't even start until age 43. I'm trying to go the other direction and get younger!

[davidw]

Originally posted by rainmaker

Not me, I'm an old "guy" (loose interpretation), and I was never in his shoes. I didn't even start until age 43. I'm trying to go the other direction and get younger!

Rainmaker, if you discover the secret before I do, will you share? Hey, maybe it's in the rain water!

[belcantor]

I don't post often but I have learned a great deal from monitoring all of your posts. I just wanted to add a general comment to what appears to be a consensus (couldn't resist using that word) among most of you as to what is required of a referee to successfully manage interaction with coaches and players. Add a smile (when appropriate) and you will be seen far more often as a referee (and person)who is approachable and willing to listen! If you are working the same teams on a regular basis, learn names and use them for both coaches and players. It helps establish your presence as a person and not just a rule-enforcing automaton. I don't know if every referee does this in their pregame, but I copied the example set for me by a fellow in my organization who has been at this for more than thirty years; I always introduce myself by name to the speaking captains (as Mr. XXXXX when working with youngsters and by my first and last when working with adults), shake hands, and express my wish for both teams to enjoy a great game. Not a big deal but really sets the tone for anything that might need to be discussed with a player or coach as the game progresses.

Thanks for all of your insight from which I've derived so much benefit!

John