Quote:
Originally posted by ref18
The main thing that has me looking back on the season negatively is that I hear that my name is flying around the association in a negative way, because of the way I deal with coaches. This has me looking back on all the altercations I've had over the season, and I think that I've handled them all well and according to the rules, but I'm trying to figure out whether I'm calling too much, or the other people aren't calling enough.
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ref18,
I'm only offering this as something to think about. Not having seen you ref, nor having to deal with coaches like I see mentioned on this board (even AAU coaches here seem rather tame in comparison), my thoughts should be taken as nothing more than a blind suggestion.
Someone else caught on to your use of the word "altercations." In order to have an altercation, you need two participants (at least). In all honesty, there is never a good time to have an altercation with a coach. If a coach has a legitimate question, answer it quickly. If he wants to gripe about a call, let him make his point as long as he doesn't get personal. A simple acknowledgment usually is sufficient to diffuse it; a look or simply, "I hear you coach."
After that, give him the stop sign, verbalized with, "That's enough, coach." If he continues, make sure he is talking to himself. Wack him if he goes too far (that's your line). However, this should not be an altercation. Your conversation will only be with your partner or the table from here on out.
My suggestion is to contact your assignor (if you have one) and ask him/her for honest feedback on this issue. Ask yourself some questions as well. Have you ever done or said anything that could have been considered "baiting" by an observer?
Basically, if a coach wants to escalate a situation beyond the courteous and polite, let him do it alone. Don't show anger, don't defend yourself, and don't get into a battle of wits. If he escalates it himself, it is then obvious to everyone that he went out of his way to get the T.