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As a young official, I think that everyone on this board given some great advice, but the best piece of advice is to find at least one mentor and get advice from as many senior officials as possible. That truly is the best way to improve your whole game. With regards to appearance, I take it as a matter of pride to be in the best possible shape that I can be in. I truly believe that showing up not only looking athletic but also refereeing like an athlete (great hustle up and down the court, beating the players on a fastbreak, etc) goes a long way toward enhancing your credibility as an official. I think one of the reasons why coaches go after young officials is because they don't see them as athletes, and showing up in great shape dispels that.
The other aspect that has been discussed is game management. Some coaches think they can intimidate new officials and badger them and often they can. In my dealings with coaches, I simply try to be professional and I won't get into confrontations with coaches. I am very open and will listen to questions, but as soon as the tone turns critical, I let the coach have the last word and get out of there. If a T is warranted, I'll call the T and end the discussion there. Some officials will stand and argue a rule interpretation or take offense to comments and continue a discussion, I will not be that guy, no matter what the coach says. The final thing is that you can't be afraid to use the technical foul, there's nothing worse from a personal and game management standpoint than to know you should have called a T or ejected someone, but that you were afraid to do so for whatever justification.
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