Coach Conversation middle of game 13 minutes long

[Fuelrider]

VaTerp, It was not originally supposed to be a crutch. It did not matter what I said to my partner who was the R on the game. I tried to get him to stop talking to him and he refused to listen to me. If it were me I would not have had that conversation, I told him we were done tonight but with my partner was making his own choices, and I do not feel like I can control his actions. The warning was supposed to be what it is a warning. Then a T like the usual steps. My partner refused to give him a T or do anything else till he was satisfied with what he either was going to tell the coach, or till the coach was done. I personally felt like I had no control over what happened. What could I personally do differently in that situation? T up the coach since my partner won't? Then take care of the 2 shot foul we had before this situation then the T, and if they still are not done issue the second T? I just had no idea what the hell was going on. I have never in my career seen something so insane to the point of delaying a game like this. What do you do when you have a partner who refuses to continue the game because he is to busy talking to the coach? I cannot just put the ball in play and go without him can I?

[VaTerp]

Originally Posted by Fuelrider

What could I personally do differently in that situation? T up the coach since my partner won't? Then take care of the 2 shot foul we had before this situation then the T, and if they still are not done issue the second T? I just had no idea what the hell was going on. I have never in my career seen something so insane to the point of delaying a game like this. What do you do when you have a partner who refuses to continue the game because he is to busy talking to the coach? I cannot just put the ball in play and go without him can I?

I think others have given you sound advice. At some point, you have to do what you have to do. Either walk over and intervene to say you are putting the ball back in play. Or JUST DO IT!

Bottom line is that the coach's behavior, beginning with his conduct on the JV bench, was way out of line and needed to be addressed much earlier and much more strongly. You are right that you can't control your partners actions but you can control what you are going to allow. I'm honestly sorry that you had such a crappy partner who put you in that situation but I'd view that as an opportunity to step up.

This brings up a 2nd larger point. Deference to partners. Many of us giving you advice here have obtained a certain amount of "status" in our respective officiating associations. We get most of the R assignments, work state finals, have a certain respect, familiarity with most of the coaches, etc. And it doesn't matter who we are working with, we are not going to allow certain things and have no problem taking whatever actions are needed to get that point across.

But that was not always that way. We were all the younger, less experienced official at some point in our careers. And for me, at least, there was a time when I was uncertain if I should "challenge" the R on certain things or defer to them on things I was not entirely comfortable with. And depending on what is the norm/expectation in your area and with your assingor there may be some of that here.

My advice though is that you have to be assertive, sooner rather than later. At the HS level I've seen a few guys whose schedule suffered b/c they rubbed people the wrong way, people thought they were too cocky too early or whatever. But 9 times out of 10, officials who are assertive and, within the rules, address situations and bench decorum appropriately are the ones who see their schedules take off and earn the respect of their peers, assigners, and coaches.

Most of us don't do this for the money. We do it because, on some level, we enjoy it and we want to do this. That said, there is stuff we have to deal with- obnoxious coaches, players, fans, partners, bad games, etc. IMO, life is too short to deal with BS like what your partner and the coach pulled. So DON'T deal with it. Put an end to it as best you can within the rules. If your assignor doesnt support you, then maybe that's an assignor who doesnt need your availability. I don't know what your situation is like where you live but here people have options.

So, long-winded post but I will end by saying that people are often too deferential to the R when in reality that title means little once the ball is tossed. When you know something is not right, like your situation that evening, step up and use the tools you have to manage the game appropriately. If your partner doesnt like it, then that's on them. Any assingor worth $0.02 will support an official curtailing the ridiculous behavior of a coach who delays a game for that period of time, which was about 12 minutes and 45 seconds too long.

[LRZ]

This, from Fuelrider's post #28, is what bewilders me: "My Assigner just laughed it off...."

What kind of response is that? That's one helpful assigner....

[Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.]

I know I am guilty of long posts. And I personally do not have a problem with long posts, but if you have to make a long post, break it down into smaller paragraphs.

JV Game: He may be the HC of the Varsity Team but during the JV game he is an AC. And as such he needs to be reminded, in a professional manner that this is the JV game and he must conduct himself accordingly. Also the JC HC should be reminded in a professional manner that he needs to keep his Bench under control.

When it was obvious that the VAR HC did not want to conduct himself professionally and the JV HC was not going to do his job in controlling Bench then: WHACK the VAR HC. That will get the attention of both Coaches.

VAR Game: I would have WHACKED the VAR HC at the 4:00 mark of the 1st QT. You have to nip that nonsense in the bud. I will talk with a HC during a TO if he wants to ask a question, but as soon as he wants to start to complain about the officiating I instantly shut him down.

I have one other observation and that is your partner was incorrect with regard to the number of TOs that a Team may request in a row. A team can request, and the request must be granted, as many TOs in a row as it wants, with exception of consecutive TOs after the 4th QT or any OT period.

It is past my bed time so I am going to end this post.

MTD, Sr.

[Umpire@1]

Uhh, why in the hell would you allow this to happened. 2 T’s, and he leave the gym, or the game is over!!
Would have never allowed this to happen. Your partner needs to grow a set of balls. What a putz.