Fellow ref riding crew as spectator

[RedAndWhiteRef]

I had a BJV game tonight in which a ref from our association had a kid playing. He was standing near the corner of the baseline and every time on that end I blew the whistle (or didn't, depending on the team), he's just all over me. Yelling loudly enough for the whole gym to hear (and it got pretty loud for a JV game). Nothing inappropriate or profane or personal, he was just being an a$$hole. To his fellow officials from the association.

Most of it was toward me and I did a decent job of tuning him out (I'm 24 but I'm no rookie--this is my fifth year of officiating), but I knew he said something to one of my partners too. This guy is a decently-respected official in our association too, and I've seen him on-court at several big games.

I know it wasn't personal, but it's not okay. I can't really say I've felt more disrespected as an official in my short career. And frankly I don't care if your kid is playing. I don't care about your kid. I'm not in this for the kids. There's no excuse for an official to be acting that way, even if they have a vested interest in the game.

I didn't feel the need to get game management involved, but I did send an email to our association president and asked him to send an email to everybody reminding them that there are certain ways we should act at games. Appropriate response?

[deecee]

If he were a fan, and not a ref, what would you have done?

[RedAndWhiteRef]

Originally Posted by deecee

If he were a fan, and not a ref, what would you have done?

Is that a trick question? Zoned it out like normal. But that's just it. He's representing our association regardless of whether he's in stripes and it's embarrassing to the association IMO. And not to sound too blunt but I really don't appreciate being treated that way by someone I may work with one day.

[SC Official]

I don't let fans stand next to the court and berate me. If there's room in the stands (which I assume there was for a JV game), I'd tell game management to put him in the stands.

And yes, send an email to whoever is in charge in your association. No legitimate association would tolerate that s*it from its members.

[BlueDevilRef]

Since he is a ref, I would have addressed it with him at first chance. A simple statement of "you are one of us and you know better" should solve the problem quickly.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by deecee

If he were a fan, and not a ref, what would you have done?

I hold officials to a higher standard, so your question doesn't matter to me.

In the game, if he's even the slightest distraction, his kid can tell him all about the game later.

As soon as that game is over, I'm sending an email to the assigner and president of the association. This is the most inappropriate behavior imaginable for an official, even if he's not getting obscene. The entire event is unacceptable for a "respected official" and he needs to be corrected.

Frankly, my inclination is to have him escorted out and he and I can have a sit-down with the assigner if need-be.

[BigCat]

Your 24 and I'm assuming he is older and more entrenched as an official so I understand your reluctance to deal with him during the game...but if he's yelling or harassing you every time down you should have dealt with him. "Your a referee, you should know better." If he keeps up. Toss him.

Now it's easy to say that now. What should you do at this point? Notifying assigner is fine and association. At the next meeting I'd make a point to find him and tell him "saw you at game the other night. Surprised the hell out of me the way you, a fellow referee acted. Screaming... I didn't and don't appreciate it. "

You can stop there and see what he says. If he apologizes, up to you to accept or not.?If he's a jerk, tell him "I should have addressed it then I won't make that mistake again."

I wouldn't just leave it up to the association or assigner. He did it to you. He's likely a bully. Let him know politely, but very firmly that you did notice it and it isn't ok.

That's what I'd tell you. Good luck. (Take BNR with you just in case)

[RedAndWhiteRef]

Originally Posted by BigCat

Your 24 and I'm assuming he is older and more entrenched as an official so I understand your reluctance to deal with him during the game...but if he's yelling or harassing you every time down you should have dealt with him. "Your a referee, you should know better." If he keeps up. Toss him.

Now it's easy to say that now. What should you do at this point? Notifying assigner is fine and association. At the next meeting I'd make a point to find him and tell him "saw you at game the other night. Surprised the hell out of me the way you, a fellow referee acted. Screaming... I didn't and don't appreciate it. "

You can stop there and see what he says. If he apologizes, up to you to accept or not.?If he's a jerk, tell him "I should have addressed it then I won't make that mistake again."

I wouldn't just leave it up to the association or assigner. He did it to you. He's likely a bully. Let him know politely, but very firmly that you did notice it and it isn't ok.

That's what I'd tell you. Good luck. (Take BNR with you just in case)

I get the impression that he thought I didn't know who he was so he thought he could just act a fool during the game and no one important (to him) would notice.

[BigCat]

Originally Posted by RedAndWhiteRef

I get the impression that he thought I didn't know who he was so he thought he could just act a fool during the game and no one important (to him) would notice.

Another option is to introduce yourself to him. I refereed a game you were at. Heard somebody screaming at us. Thought it was a crazy fan. Looked over and was surprised it was you, another referee...

See what your assigner or association says they think you should do. Or ask someone more experienced in that association. They know the lay of the land. I would like to see you call him out but that might not be the best thing for you to do.

[zm1283]

I would say something during the game directly to him, especially if it is prolonged and he is in close proximity like the story described.

If he didn't knock it off, I would think real hard about having him removed and would for sure contact the assigner and association board either way.

[Nevadaref]

Just call fouls on his kid.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by Nevadaref

Just call fouls on his kid.

Really?

[Nevadaref]

Originally Posted by Adam

Really?

Really.

[BigCat]

The game has come and gone already. Its what he should do now. If it was during the game i'd stop everything and let every person in gym hear me say not another word from you. Guy needs to be embarrassed. Then tossed.

Im not going to pick on his kid. Most of the time kids are mortified by their parents actions and wish they'd shut the hell up. I would make a point to embarrass the guy in front of everybody there.

[Raymond]

I would have told him "I've seen you officiate, I really don't think you should be talking"

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