Coach refuses to shake hands

[j51969]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

You can be professional and tell a coach "what's up." They just decided to do something much earlier. I would not disrespect a coach, but he certainly would know why I feel the way I do. He would have to apologize, but I would not just not talk to a coach and he not know why. That is the ultimate disrespect to refuse to shake someone's hand and do so publicly. If this was any other profession, I would stop doing business with them or report it to them to the higher ups. I just have to deal with them for at most a couple of hours and then I go home. Coaches need to know their behavior has consequences.
Peace

I made a general statment that wasn't directed at anyone in particular. Why you and Adam took such offense to an opinion, which I am entitled to is beyond me. However, the highlighted words are yours not mine.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by j51969

I made a general statment that wasn't directed at anyone in particular. Why you and Adam took such offense to an opinion, which I am entitled to is beyond me. However, the highlighted words are yours not mine.

I had to go back and reread what I wrote that made you think I took offense to your opinion. Your opinion that I took exception to (I wasn't offended) is below:

1. You think others are taking this sort of thing personally. I disagree. One doesn't have to take it personal to deal with unsporting or childish behavior from a coach.

2. You implicitly accuse others of selling their integrity. I simply find that insinuation to be absurd.

Originally Posted by j51969

FWIW,

I am not treating him any differently than the other coach. I don't take any of this personally even if others may. We are all human, but if I am going to sell my integrity it will be for a HELL of a lot more than a basketball game (at any level). I guess in these situations you will find the left and right limits of your .

[Tio]

Ignore the act of unprofessionalism. Then if it is a HS coach, report him to the appropriate Interscholastic board or utilize proper reporting procedures. Coaches are role models to the student athletes and sportsmanship is paramount in all interscholastic sports (or at least they will all say so).

[j51969]

Originally Posted by Adam

I had to go back and reread what I wrote that made you think I took offense to your opinion. Your opinion that I took exception to (I wasn't offended) is below:

1. You think others are taking this sort of thing personally. I disagree. One doesn't have to take it personal to deal with unsporting or childish behavior from a coach.

2. You implicitly accuse others of selling their integrity. I simply find that insinuation to be absurd.

Agree to disagree,

However, the mere fact my general comment garnered this much attention implies some may be putting way more thought into one simple act than needed. I said I wouldn't sell my integrity over this. I also said I wouldn’t take it personally. Some of the opposing comments seemed to take it personal. There are about a dozen or so who seem to respond to the majority of the post on this site. Many times when someone else disagrees, or is in the minority on an issue the piling on ensues. Previous posts over the years you seem to be a very passionate and competent official. If I may not offer an open opinion without offending you in some way maybe you have lost your perspective and objectivity.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by j51969

I made a general statment that wasn't directed at anyone in particular. Why you and Adam took such offense to an opinion, which I am entitled to is beyond me. However, the highlighted words are yours not mine.

Who said anything about taking it personally? I am just commenting on the situation. It is my opinion. If you wish to do something different than that is OK. Often I do not care what others do anyway because there is more than one way to skin a cat. If what you are doing works for you, that is OK with me.

I feel we have the right to tell coaches the truth. And if he did not shake my hand, he would know why I am not talking to him after that fact. He will learn one way or the other.

Peace

[Adam]

Originally Posted by j51969

Agree to disagree,

However, the mere fact my general comment garnered this much attention implies some may be putting way more thought into one simple act than needed. I said I wouldn't sell my integrity over this. I also said I wouldn’t take it personally. Some of the opposing comments seemed to take it personal. There are about a dozen or so who seem to respond to the majority of the post on this site. Many times when someone else disagrees, or is in the minority on an issue the piling on ensues. Previous posts over the years you seem to be a very passionate and competent official. If I may not offer an open opinion without offending you in some way maybe you have lost your perspective and objectivity.

What did I say that implies I was offended? Can I not disagree with your opinion without you thinking I'm offended by it?
I think the idea that those who would address his disrespect are somehow selling out their integrity is absurd, but I'm not offended by it?

As for taking it personal, this thread was dead for two weeks before you resurrected it. That's why I had to go back and read what I wrote.

[BigCat]

[QUOTE=JRutledge;948135]Often I do not care what others do anyway because there is more than one way to skin a cat.

Please don't skin the cat...😸

[WhistlesAndStripes]

Originally Posted by RefCT

I guess he can't truthfully answer the "we can expect good sportsmanship from everyone" question.

HE can if he answers no.

[BryanV21]

We were recently instructed to handle pre-game stuff differently in one league, apparently due to at least one coach not wanting his/her players to shake hands with the opposing coach.

In any other league we, the officials, will stand in front of the table while players are being announced. Once announced players come out, shakes hands or whatever with their teammates, go over and shake the hand of the opposing coach, then shake hands/fist bump with us officials.

Now, in that one league, players no longer shake hands with the opposing coach nor us after being announced.

The reason for this change was apparently because that one coach didn't want him/her or his/her players to be seen as unsportsmanlike. I don't get it.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by BryanV21

We were recently instructed to handle pre-game stuff differently in one league, apparently due to at least one coach not wanting his/her players to shake hands with the opposing coach.

In any other league we, the officials, will stand in front of the table while players are being announced. Once announced players come out, shakes hands or whatever with their teammates, go over and shake the hand of the opposing coach, then shake hands/fist bump with us officials.

Now, in that one league, players no longer shake hands with the opposing coach nor us after being announced.

The reason for this change was apparently because that one coach didn't want him/her or his/her players to be seen as unsportsmanlike. I don't get it.

Meh, I wouldn't notice either way. There's no need for that pomp and circumstance anyway. Whether the coach has fostered sportsmanship isn't going to change with this pregame ceremony.

[lbornsch]

Stay above the coach who chooses to be a jerk. Avoid letting him know that he has affected you in any way. It may be tough but be professional and businesslike in the way you handle yourself and work the best game you can work.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by BryanV21

We were recently instructed to handle pre-game stuff differently in one league, apparently due to at least one coach not wanting his/her players to shake hands with the opposing coach.

In any other league we, the officials, will stand in front of the table while players are being announced. Once announced players come out, shakes hands or whatever with their teammates, go over and shake the hand of the opposing coach, then shake hands/fist bump with us officials.

Now, in that one league, players no longer shake hands with the opposing coach nor us after being announced.

The reason for this change was apparently because that one coach didn't want him/her or his/her players to be seen as unsportsmanlike. I don't get it.

Pregame handshakes are not allowed here. I'm happy for that.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by lbornsch

Stay above the coach who chooses to be a jerk. Avoid letting him know that he has affected you in any way. It may be tough but be professional and businesslike in the way you handle yourself and work the best game you can work.

Two schools of thought.

This is one.

[BillyMac]

Originally Posted by Rich

Pregame handshakes are not allowed here. I'm happy for that.

Seems kind of contrived, and corny. It started with girls teams about fifteen years ago, and now includes teams of both genders, almost universal.

Fist bump, and a quick, "Have fun". Harmless, but contrived, and corny. I would prefer for it to go away, but I'm not going to lobby against it.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by BillyMac

Seems kind of contrived, and corny. It started with girls teams about fifteen years ago, and now includes teams of both genders, almost universal.

Fist bump, and a quick, "Have fun". Harmless, but contrived, and corny. I would prefer for it to go away, but I'm not going to lobby against it.

Guess we were ahead of our time when I grew up (more than 15 years ago).