Coach refuses to shake hands

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Rich1

Do nothing different. If he wants to hold a grudge over a basketball game and behave immaturely then its on him. I'll call the game the same either way. Be professional, answer questions, make calls, and interact with him and his team just like you would if you had never met before. I also use this same philosophy when I have a coach or team that is "rumored" to be difficult. I may be more aware but I won't go in looking for problems.

You can be professional and tell a coach "what's up." They just decided to do something much earlier. I would not disrespect a coach, but he certainly would know why I feel the way I do. He would have to apologize, but I would not just not talk to a coach and he not know why. That is the ultimate disrespect to refuse to shake someone's hand and do so publicly. If this was any other profession, I would stop doing business with them or report it to them to the higher ups. I just have to deal with them for at most a couple of hours and then I go home. Coaches need to know their behavior has consequences.

Peace

[BillyMac]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

... report it to the higher ups.

Good idea. Here, in my little corner of Connecticut, the procedure would be to report the situation to our assigner, who would contact the school's athletic director.

[bainsey]

I would do nothing at the time, but keep it in the back of my head that he may become problematic.

[Adam]

The game started with a clean slate. The coach decided to be a prick, and it doesn't matter to me whether he did it at the coach's meeting or after the first foul call against his team. His actions for this game have determined the level of courtesy he will be given, which is pretty much nil. Obviously, it isn't going to affect how I'm going to call the game; but he's made it clear he isn't going to work with me if I need help dealing with a player or his bench. That's fine, I can go straight to the tools provided in the book.

[Ed Maeder]

Is this what officiating is about? Being vindictive. Work the game like any other and keep your emotions aside. We have to be bigger then that. Report and move on.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by Ed Maeder

Is this what officiating is about? Being vindictive. Work the game like any other and keep your emotions aside. We have to be bigger then that. Report and move on.

It's not vindictive. A coach decided he didn't wish to have a professional relationship. That's OK, but that just means I won't go out of my way to communicate with him.

Actually, I would be surprised at such behavior. Never had a coach act this way before a game.

[jTheUmp]

Originally Posted by Rich

It's not vindictive. A coach decided he didn't wish to have a professional relationship. That's OK, but that just means I won't go out of my way to communicate with him.

Actually, I would be surprised at such behavior. Never had a coach act this way before a game.

I've had it happen a couple of times, although it was either a) youth wreck ball (back when I used to work youth wreck ball) or b) a JV game. Never happened at the varsity level.

Of course, in the case of the JV game, that coach had been served T in the two prior games I'd worked for his team (once by me, once by my partner). In the 3rd game, he opened the pregame conference with "Oh, it's you again" in a tone that basically said "I'm gonna get a T in this game also". And he did not disappoint. He also did not return as coach the following season.

[MathReferee]

On a related note, my household has been a cesspool for disease this season so whenever either of my daughters is sick with something I will do an elbow bump, a smile, and lightheartedly say something to the effect of "Trust me, with my household you wouldn't want to shake my hand."

Point being, there may be another reason why a coach may not have shaken your hand. However, I would hope that if they did have a reason that they would try and let you know why as briefly as possible.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by Ed Maeder

Is this what officiating is about? Being vindictive. Work the game like any other and keep your emotions aside. We have to be bigger then that. Report and move on.

That handshake is part of this game. The coach has demonstrated he doesn't want to interact with us. There are many things a coach can do to cause interaction to cease, this is but one of them.

BNR and johnny d, what would you do in a college game?

[Adam]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

That handshake is part of this game. The coach has demonstrated he doesn't want to interact with us. There are many things a coach can do to cause interaction to cease, this is but one of them.

Exactly, I'm not bringing in previous game experience or negative interaction with this coach. He just started this game with a big fat "Eff You." Would be no different than if, in the course of the game, I needed to ask him a question and he responded by turning his back.

Responding to that behavior doesn't require being vindictive. He's just told you he doesn't want to deal with you. How does that play itself out?

Well, now I know that I can't count on him to help me with his players if they start going off the rails with sportsmanship. I'll deal with it myself, and that means I'm much more likely to need to use a technical foul.

I know I can't count on him to be reasonable if I need to remind him to get back into the coaching box.

I know that if a player fouls out, I'm just going to let him know and have timer start immediately rather than wait to see if he hesitates with the sub.

I know that if his bench is acting up, he's not going to be much help in dealing with them, so I'll use the tools I have.

I know that if he's asking stupid questions, he doesn't get the benefit of the doubt as to intent. The questions he'll get answered will be along the lines of "where's the throw in going to be".

He'll get my polite responses, but they'll be completely professional, short, and to the point. If he wants to be a jack-ass, I'm not going to get in his way.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Ed Maeder

Is this what officiating is about? Being vindictive. Work the game like any other and keep your emotions aside. We have to be bigger then that. Report and move on.

Basically you have been disrespectful, so I do not have to show you any courtesy. Talking to any coach is a courtesy. No where is it a requirement or honestly part of a requirement in officiating. Why would any of us want to talk to a guy/gal that cannot shake our hands in a ceremonial fashion that does not even show that you like or respect us in the first place? And it a person cannot shake our hands, they do not need me to say anything to them as that will be seen as another issue when I speak to them. If you wish to talk, that is on you. I have told coaches in the past when they have been disrespectful, "I am not talking you anymore." They need me much more than I need them. They need to know that sometimes.

Peace

[Ed Maeder]

Coaches are disrespectful to officials all the time. Does that mean we lower ourselves to their level.

[j51969]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

You can be professional and tell a coach "what's up." They just decided to do something much earlier. I would not disrespect a coach, but he certainly would know why I feel the way I do. He would have to apologize, but I would not just not talk to a coach and he not know why. That is the ultimate disrespect to refuse to shake someone's hand and do so publicly. If this was any other profession, I would stop doing business with them or report it to them to the higher ups. I just have to deal with them for at most a couple of hours and then I go home. Coaches need to know their behavior has consequences.
Peace

I made a general statment that wasn't directed at anyone in particular. Why you and Adam took such offense to an opinion, which I am entitled to is beyond me. However, the highlighted words are yours not mine.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by j51969

I made a general statment that wasn't directed at anyone in particular. Why you and Adam took such offense to an opinion, which I am entitled to is beyond me. However, the highlighted words are yours not mine.

Who said anything about taking it personally? I am just commenting on the situation. It is my opinion. If you wish to do something different than that is OK. Often I do not care what others do anyway because there is more than one way to skin a cat. If what you are doing works for you, that is OK with me.

I feel we have the right to tell coaches the truth. And if he did not shake my hand, he would know why I am not talking to him after that fact. He will learn one way or the other.

Peace