Reflections on taking some time off

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by fiasco

It's called opportunity cost. Is what you're getting worth more than what you're giving up? It's different for everyone. So evaluating me based off how you feel or view the situation probably isn't very helpful.

I made the decision that the long hours, little pay and poor treatment from my assignor was not worth taking time away from my kids at their young age. I'm not sure what's so "disappointing" about that.



Well, I kind of spelled that out, while acknowledging that I'm not sure either. Sometimes it's cathartic to just get something off your chest to someone else.

I am just commenting on what you stated. If you cannot take the heat of what this entails, then quit. Again this is not for everyone. Everyone does not have the personality to handle these situations and all it involves. You have found other things in your life more important, that is no different than any other decision in our lives. You made this decision public and it is really not my goal to "help you out" or suggest that you should come back. If you want to get out that is your decision and you will have to live with that decision. I know when I hang it up it will be my decision as well. We all have a different threshold of what we will tolerate and you have met that point. I did so with another sport and did not need validation to come to that conclusion. That sport was simply not important enough and I valued other things.

Good luck with your decision.

Peace

[fiasco]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I am just commenting on what you stated. If you cannot take the heat of what this entails, then quit. Again this is not for everyone. Everyone does not have the personality to handle these situations and all it involves. You have found other things in your life more important, that is no different than any other decision in our lives. You made this decision public and it is really not my goal to "help you out" or suggest that you should come back. If you want to get out that is your decision and you will have to live with that decision. I know when I hang it up it will be my decision as well. We all have a different threshold of what we will tolerate and you have met that point. I did so with another sport and did not need validation to come to that conclusion. That sport was simply not important enough and I valued other things.

Good luck with your decision.

Peace

LOL...ok, JRut!

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by fiasco

LOL...ok, JRut!

Do not get mad at me, you put your personal business in the street. None of us would have known anything but I guess that is the thing to do put all your personal business in the street.

Peace

[fiasco]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

Do not get mad at me, you put your personal business in the street. None of us would have known anything but I guess that is the thing to do put all your personal business in the street.

Peace

Oh I'm not mad. Just entertained. You never cease to entertain!

[rsl]

I am sitting out this year as well, and I can relate. Four events last year drove me to it:

1) A school published the wrong time for a game and called at the last moment to tell me I had to be there an hour early. I left a critical work meeting early, got a speeding ticket on the way (which blew my seasons earnings), and had a crappy game.

2) A soccer official was killed here in Utah. I have never felt threatened, but the resulting media attention made me realize how much people hate us.

3) I reffed a sophomore coach I have known for years with a referee in literally his third game. My partner sucked and I had to T my long time friend for complaining about it too much.

4) Health problems (rotator cuff and double hernia) made me a step slower and I realized I was not doing as good a job as I had been doing.

Bottom line is, it was time to walk away for a year or two. It is better for me and better for the kids. My local association president never questions or judges when a ref hangs it up. He knows it is likely better for the game as well. Congrats to fiasco for realizing where he is. It is much better than continuing to ref when you don't enjoy it. Hopefully he (and I) will come back.

[pfan1981]

Let me start off by saying that I have truly enjoyed this post. Not all the back and forth, but rather everyone's situation. It has been one of the best posts I have ever read because everyone's situation and motivation are different.

I am sorry to hear that you had a rough go of it. Every official unfortunately goes through it because there are bad people out there in the world. It is super unfortunate, I wish no one would have to go through it.

What's interesting is all the "why" we do it. Some just love basketball, some like providing a fair contest, some like the workout, some like the $$$ (who doesn't though), and some like a hobby. I pretty much like to do it for all those reasons. At a middle school game last night with about 100 people in the gym. One of the middle schoolers (a fan) yelled, "Hey (visiting team).....YOU SUCK!" As a teacher by trade, this was not acceptable. I calmly walked over and told that section of quality people that if they would like to finish watching the game, then they better not say another negative word. Before I could even finish my pep talk, the principal, who is a great guy, was sitting right in the middle of them. Needless to say, most of them thought it wasn't very fun anymore and left. Sportsmanship is my number one priority, probably to a fault. Last night the visiting team kid was getting into it with the home team. I grabbed his jersey by the shoulder (not hard or anything), walked him over to coach and said, "I think you need a sub coach." Coach replied, "Couldn't agree more." He later said he appreciated that vs. the technical foul, ie preventive officiating.

OK, off my soap box. I wish you well. I hope you officiate again if you want to. I had a game from hell last year and almost hung it up, but am glad I didn't. I also have a 3 and 6 year old. They hug my legs when I go to work a game, but teaching does not pay the greatest (2k take home per month, btw that blows people's minds) and it helps with the holidays and such. I think I will scale it back when they start playing youth and middle school. I think I will attend every HS game, but pick up any varsity contest not on those nights to keep my game sharp.

Again, great post with great ideas,

pfan

[fiasco]

Originally Posted by pfan1981

Let me start off by saying that I have truly enjoyed this post. Not all the back and forth, but rather everyone's situation. It has been one of the best posts I have ever read because everyone's situation and motivation are different.

I am sorry to hear that you had a rough go of it. Every official unfortunately goes through it because there are bad people out there in the world. It is super unfortunate, I wish no one would have to go through it.

What's interesting is all the "why" we do it. Some just love basketball, some like providing a fair contest, some like the workout, some like the $$$ (who doesn't though), and some like a hobby. I pretty much like to do it for all those reasons. At a middle school game last night with about 100 people in the gym. One of the middle schoolers (a fan) yelled, "Hey (visiting team).....YOU SUCK!" As a teacher by trade, this was not acceptable. I calmly walked over and told that section of quality people that if they would like to finish watching the game, then they better not say another negative word. Before I could even finish my pep talk, the principal, who is a great guy, was sitting right in the middle of them. Needless to say, most of them thought it wasn't very fun anymore and left. Sportsmanship is my number one priority, probably to a fault. Last night the visiting team kid was getting into it with the home team. I grabbed his jersey by the shoulder (not hard or anything), walked him over to coach and said, "I think you need a sub coach." Coach replied, "Couldn't agree more." He later said he appreciated that vs. the technical foul, ie preventive officiating.

OK, off my soap box. I wish you well. I hope you officiate again if you want to. I had a game from hell last year and almost hung it up, but am glad I didn't. I also have a 3 and 6 year old. They hug my legs when I go to work a game, but teaching does not pay the greatest (2k take home per month, btw that blows people's minds) and it helps with the holidays and such. I think I will scale it back when they start playing youth and middle school. I think I will attend every HS game, but pick up any varsity contest not on those nights to keep my game sharp.

Again, great post with great ideas,

pfan

Thanks, pfan. Really appreciate your thoughts.

I was actually talking to my wife last night. I think I'm really looking forward to just having this season off, especially now around Christmas time.

Next year, I really think when basketball season comes around I may pick up a Saturday or two or weeknight or two a month and do some Jr. High rec league ball. Just to stay into it and to get some exercise and see how I feel after doing that. Who knows.

[RookieDude]

Originally Posted by pfan1981

I grabbed his jersey by the shoulder (not hard or anything), walked him over to coach and said, "I think you need a sub coach."

I appreciate you sharing with us...

but, "grabbing" a kid's jersey and "walking him" anywhere...

Hmmmmm....

[Rich]

Originally Posted by RookieDude

I appreciate you sharing with us...

but, "grabbing" a kid's jersey and "walking him" anywhere...

Hmmmmm....

I don't touch players. I cringed at reading that one, I'll admit.

[Rich]

Guys, don't make me lock this thread. Cause the lock is coming.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Rich

Guys, don't make me lock this thread. Cause the lock is coming.

Lock it up.

Peace

[fiasco]

Originally Posted by Rich

Guys, don't make me lock this thread. Cause the lock is coming.

Is this like the moderator equivalent of the stop sign?