Did I bait the coach...?

[jTheUmp]

Methinks you should've whacked him immediately after the "You're a bad ref" comment.

If you think that's what he said but you aren't 100% sure, give him a quiet "Do you want to repeat that, Coach?". If he repeats himself, then he's definitely earned the T. If he doesn't repeat himself, you've given him a chance to get out of the situation.

Similar to what I do when a player drops an F-bomb in frustration at himself that's quiet enough that nobody else heard it except me. "You said 'truck', right? Because if you said something else I might have to issue a technical foul"

[VaTerp]

Originally Posted by rockyroad

I really don't understand the whole "what did you say?" thing...if you heard the coach or player say something that warrants a T, then call the T...the whole making them repeat it and then calling the T just makes us look like jerks and opens the door to criticism that - as the OP title suggest - we baited the coach or player.

+1

Originally Posted by jTheUmp

Methinks you should've whacked him immediately after the "You're a bad ref" comment.

If you think that's what he said but you aren't 100% sure, give him a quiet "Do you want to repeat that, Coach?". If he repeats himself, then he's definitely earned the T. If he doesn't repeat himself, you've given him a chance to get out of the situation.

Similar to what I do when a player drops an F-bomb in frustration at himself that's quiet enough that nobody else heard it except me. "You said 'truck', right? Because if you said something else I might have to issue a technical foul"

Agree with the immediate whack but I don't really like either of the other approaches you suggest. If you hear it you either address it or choose to ignore it. You address it with a T or a warning.

Asking people what they said, to repeat themselves, or manipulating what they said has a lot of downside and very little upside.

You end up in an exchange that can quickly go downhill and then you have to issue a T that's going to look terrible on tape or subject yourself to further unsporting comments on behalf of the coach and swallow your whistle. Sure, sometimes it can work to diffuse a situation but IMO there are much better ways that have much less downside.

[scrounge]

Originally Posted by VaTerp

+1



Agree with the immediate whack but I don't really like either of the other approaches you suggest. If you hear it you either address it or choose to ignore it. You address it with a T or a warning.

Asking people what they said, to repeat themselves, or manipulating what they said has a lot of downside and very little upside.

You end up in an exchange that can quickly go downhill and then you have to issue a T that's going to look terrible on tape or subject yourself to further unsporting comments on behalf of the coach and swallow your whistle. Sure, sometimes it can work to diffuse a situation but IMO there are much better ways that have much less downside.

Yep. I'd say there's a place for very limited use of "what was that", but NEVER if it's directed at you. If a coach/player says, not too loudly but loud enough to hear, an expletive or something like WTF, and it's more frustration than personal, then maybe it's ok to give them a chance to walk it back while letting them know they're on the edge of going over the cliff. But if it's "you" or directly personal - no repeat or warning needed.

[JRutledge]

I do not think you baited him, I think you just allowed more conversation to take place that was unneeded. Either address the comment or whack him. You do not need him to repeat anything if you heard the comment clearly.

Peace

[BigT]

Almost like I need to be more aware and when I know the coach makes a personal comment skip the warning and go for the T in this situation. Been working on my personality and better handling issues with Coaches. And it is all very challenging. I enjoy email referees and truly appreciate the insight I gain and the responses I get here from you guys.

[JetMetFan]

Originally Posted by BigT

Almost like I need to be more aware and when I know the coach makes a personal comment skip the warning and go for the T in this situation. Been working on my personality and better handling issues with Coaches. And it is all very challenging. I enjoy email referees and truly appreciate the insight I gain and the responses I get here from you guys.

Hey, it's all about learning.

One thing about asking him that question: in addition to engaging him too long, it gives him a chance to say something even worse, which could cause the whole thing to escalate. Either T him or go "deaf." It sounds as though you really didn't want to T him in the first place.

[RookieDude]

Originally Posted by BigT

Almost like I need to be more aware and when I know the coach makes a personal comment skip the warning and go for the T in this situation. Been working on my personality and better handling issues with Coaches. And it is all very challenging. I enjoy email referees and truly appreciate the insight I gain and the responses I get here from you guys.

That's great you want to learn and get better...one thing I was told long ago, was to NOT HAVE RABBIT EARS.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by RookieDude

That's great you want to learn and get better...one thing I was told long ago, was to NOT HAVE RABBIT EARS.

Doesn't apply here. The coach was talking TO the official and got personal.

If you ignore this, you are ignoring EVERYTHING. JMO.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

I do not think you baited him, I think you just allowed more conversation to take place that was unneeded. Either address the comment or whack him. You do not need him to repeat anything if you heard the comment clearly.

Peace

Just like my T from another thread. I rightfully T'd the coach but I should have done it immediately instead of engaging him in conversation.

[ref3808]

Coach, I prefer to be referred to as on official.