Unapproachable Coach vs. Unapproachable Ref

[Da Official]

I was working a Jr high rec game last Saturday, Team A is a very good team and is winning.

2nd Quarter....Dead ball I'm Trail far side, horn goes off and I see the Sub A running in. Its rec ball so I'll give the kid a break and walk over to him and explain that he isn't to come in the game until we call for him. He says ok.

3rd Quarter....Dead ball I'm table side Trail, sub (same player) runs onto the floor. I blow my whistle, tweet tweet, kid keeps going, tweet tweet tweet tweet, kid doesn't stop.

TWEET...Technical Foul White

Coach walks over "what did he do?" I give the stop sign and say "Hold on coach i'll be right back". I anticipated the coach questioning the call but I wanted to explain to my (young) partner what was going on so he could get the FTs started.

He then yells "u better come back over here and explain to me NOW, Right now!!! (while pointing at the floor). I look at him and look at the table, "TWEET...Technical Foul Unsporting Conduct White Coach.

I turn back around and go to my partner and explain everything to him. I come back to the coach and I tell him the player entered the game without being called in and its a technical. He replies 'Doesn't he get a warning?" I reply "I gave him a warning." He says "well you didn't warn me".

Me: (By this time I had had enough) "Coach I don't have to warn you. Its in the rule book, pick one up, your player has to wait for us to call him in."

Coach: "Well before the game you said to keep communication lines open...but you didn't communicate with me. You didn't keep your word....you didn't keep your word." (Now imagine the coach saying this in an Asian accent....it was sorta funny to me)


While that was the highlight of my evening, what could I have done better here? Mind you I had no trouble with the guy before or after this incident. My thinking for the Technical is its obviously in the rulebook BUT sometimes experience is the best lesson....I'm sure the kid and the coach will wait for the official to call em in next time.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Da Official

While that was the highlight of my evening, what could I have done better here? Mind you I had no trouble with the guy before or after this incident. My thinking for the Technical is its obviously in the rulebook BUT sometimes experience is the best lesson....I'm sure the kid and the coach will wait for the official to call em in next time.

There is nothing you can do with an unreasonable individual. First of all "You better come to me right now and give me an explanation" was the way he felt he should talk to you. Well I am a grown *** man and my father died almost 15 years ago and he did not even talk to me that way.

You even seemed to make a public issue of the kid coming onto the court. And you then enforced the rule. I am not sure what else you could have done, because if you went to the coach he might have told you "Well you are the only official that cares....."

Peace

[Adam]

In a rec game, if the coach had been a peach all game, I might have followed up my T (on the coach) with "Coach, I asked you to hold on a second so I could inform my partner what was going on. In the mean time, you're not my coach or my wife, so you don't get to talk to me like one of your players."
If there was any indication that such a conversation would go sour, I'd do nothing.

[Da Official]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

There is nothing you can do with an unreasonable individual. First of all "You better come to me right now and give me an explanation" was the way he felt he should talk to you. Well I am a grown *** man and my father died almost 15 years ago and he did not even talk to me that way.

You even seemed to make a public issue of the kid coming onto the court. And you then enforced the rule. I am not sure what else you could have done, because if you went to the coach he might have told you "Well you are the only official that cares....."

Peace

Yeah I couldn't believe he said that....it was pretty unexpected...but I'm glad he did --it gave me experience.

Yeah I'm pretty sure I'm one of the few officials that officiate this league that would have made the call but I'm probably 1 of 3 officials that are actually trying to improve and go somewhere so I treat each game as the real thing. Crazy me.

[stripes]

what part of Utah are you from?

[bainsey]

Originally Posted by Da Official

Yeah I'm pretty sure I'm one of the few officials that officiate this league that would have made the call but I'm probably 1 of 3 officials that are actually trying to improve and go somewhere so I treat each game as the real thing. Crazy me.

Don't get discouraged. I had a similar situation this past year in a middle school game.

During a throw-in, a defender clearly reached through the plane, which is rather frequent in a middle school game. I got the whistle, reported the warning to the table, informed the coach, and went back to make sure the kids knew what the infraction was and what it meant.

This particular coach didn't like the call. When I informed the coach, she wouldn't look me in the eye. When I asked if she understood it, her reply was, "Yeah, I understand it. I just don't agree with it. It's a seventh grade game."

After the game, I pondered that comment, and I came up with three reasons that call should be made:

1. It's just a warning (repeated offenses notwithstanding),
2. Breaking the plan puts the thrower-in at a disadvantage, and
3. If we DON'T call it, how will players learn not to do it?

Stick with the facts, and don't let emotions get in the way.

[Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

Well I am a grown *** man and my father died almost 15 years ago and he did not even talk to me that way.

Rut:

It is obvious that you didn't have an Italian for a father, .

MTD, Sr.


P.S. My father passed ten years ago, and I bet our fathers are watching us from upstairs.

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.

Rut:

It is obvious that you didn't have an Italian for a father, .

MTD, Sr.

MTD, I grew up right next to an Italian neighborhood on the south side of Chicago and I had a lot of Italian friends (like Silvio and Silvario). You're right. That's the way their dads yelled, er, I mean talked.

You might get a kick out of this. Silvio had red hair and freckles, far from "typical" Italian looks.. All the guys used to say he looked just like his mailman. We never said it around him, because his brother worked for the mob. We were told his job was doping racehorses. Not kidding.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by Mark T. DeNucci, Sr.

Rut:

It is obvious that you didn't have an Italian for a father, .

MTD, Sr.


P.S. My father passed ten years ago, and I bet our fathers are watching us from upstairs.

Let me let you in on a little secret. My father was not Italian, but my father did not need to say anything to get a point across. I will let you figure out what that means.

Peace

[bainsey]

Originally Posted by Da Official

"u better come back over here and explain to me NOW, Right now!!! (while pointing at the floor)"

Yeah, that will get you into trouble. I have to wonder how much coaching inexperience played a role in that line. (I had an inexperienced coach give me lines this year I won't forget soon.)

Still, in fairness, such issues are few and far between, at least from my perspective. Most coaches know how to communicate, as do most officials, but it's often something you learn as you go.

I estimate that I have coaching issues once every dozen or so games. I find the approachable coaches to far outweigh the unapproachable ones. The truth is, though, the unapproachable ones stick in your memory more often, so it may seem more often than it really is.

We all have to be careful with broad-brush statements. They can drive a big wedge into effective communication.

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by Da Official

Me: "Coach I don't have to warn you. Its in the rule book, pick one up."

"Unfortunately, they don't sell them at the Dollar Store where, apparently, you buy your clothes."

[Adam]

Originally Posted by Mark Padgett

"Unfortunately, they don't sell them at the Dollar Store where, apparently, you buy your clothes."

"Communication is still open, coach. You'll just be talking from, instead of out of, your a$$."

[Nevadaref]

Originally Posted by Snaqwells

shut up

(fixed it)

Originally Posted by Snaqwells

"Communication is still open, coach. You'll just be talking from ???, instead of out of, your a$$."

Perhaps you'll get around to fixing this one too.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by Nevadaref

Perhaps you'll get around to fixing this one too.

It was worded correctly, but I'll word it differently now to help you.

"You'll just be talking from your a$$ rather than out of it."

I can make it more simpler if you need.

[Nevadaref]

Originally Posted by Snaqwells

It was worded correctly, but I'll word it differently now to help you.

"You'll just be talking from your a$$ rather than out of it."

I can make it more simpler if you need.

Oh, it's a seat belt joke. How quaint.