Hilarious (to me anyway) post-game exchange

[A Pennsylvania Coach]

6th grade girls travel league playoffs last night at a nearby rec center. Barely room for spectators along the wall. Interesting game. The teams are only permitted to play full-court defense in the 2nd and 4th quarters. The visitors were tall and slow, and the home team was small and quick. So visitors go up 14-4 at end of first, home up 20-18 at the half, visitors back up 26-24 at end of third, and home wins 33-28. Fans were in our ears the whole night, but I never really looked at any of them so I couldn't tell who was supporting which team.

The wife and I were going straight to an HS playoff game afterwards, so I ducked in the locker room for a quick shower and to change. I come out and meet her in the lobby about 10 minutes later, and on the way out some guy says "Nice game, ref!"

I say "Thanks" with a smile on my face and am almost at the door when he says "Uh, sarcasm." Apparently he was a supporter of the losing team, and wanted to throw an barb at me but failed miserably. I could just imagine what went through his head in those moments "Crap, I wanted to insult him but now he thinks he really did a good game. How do I fix this??!?!!?!?"

[Mark Padgett]

Your reply: "Coming from a real expert like you, that means a lot."

[just another ref]

Originally Posted by A Pennsylvania Coach

"Nice game, ref!"

"Thanks"

"Uh, sarcasm."

"No, I really mean it. Thanks."

Had a dad mouth "pathetic" towards me as I was walking off the floor after a freshman girls B game. I pointed back at the court and mouthed back "that was!" He almost dropped his cell phone in amazement. Ahhhhh...the power of scarcasm!

[Ref_in_Alberta]

VB game last night... had a play OOB where the ball ended up under the feet of a fan. He picks it up and half-heartedly passes it back to me (it made it half way). I take 2 steps, get the ball and hear from the same guy...

"Gotta call the contact out there..."
My reply "sorry, I don't speak 'fan'..."

[grunewar]

B13/15 Semi-Final Rec League game last night. Back and forth. 100 spectators. MS sized gym. Very tense, close, emotional game with a lot of lead changes. Nerves being shown by the boys toward the end.....

Early in the 4th qtr Green #10 was at the line shooting the second of two foul shots. The MS gym was church quiet and one of the parents "passed gas" LOUD! It was unreal. Didn't know who exactly the "offending party" was, but as the T on that side, I had my suspicions. The "suspected dad" just sat there without expression.

The gym howled (teenagers and f@rts?, cmon!). The shooter at the line almost fell off the line. In hind-sight, we should have "blown the play dead," retrieved the ball, and started the foul shot over. The shooter "bricked it."

I mean, this was LOUD!

[Cleefy]

One match I'll always remember was midway through last year at a Squad Tournament (rep basketball for local towns, for you Americans).

Spectator is yelling off her nut at my partner and I, and the smartarse in me (as always actually), got the better of me. I turned to her, and said back, quite loudly "Hey, I don't yell at you when you're working at McDonalds". I embarrassed her quite a bit, and she kept it shut for the rest of the match.

Another exchange I had last night in our domestic competition comes to mind here too - father says "C'mon ref, you gotta make a call there" to which I reply "If you want to read the rules and tell me what call should have been made, go for it" he was quick to blurt out "A charge would have been nice"... this is the point where I should have put a lid on it, but I just had to say "No, your not listening to me - I said read the rules first"

I guess I really should start to control myself - its going to get me into trouble; but gosh, when a clueless parent gets going, responding is just so tempting.

[grunewar]

Originally Posted by Cleefy

One match I'll always remember was midway through last year at a Squad Tournament (rep basketball for local towns, for you Americans).

Spectator is yelling off her nut at my partner and I, and the smartarse in me (as always actually), got the better of me. I turned to her, and said back, quite loudly "Hey, I don't yell at you when you're working at McDonalds". I embarrassed her quite a bit, and she kept it shut for the rest of the match.

Another exchange I had last night in our domestic competition comes to mind here too - father says "C'mon ref, you gotta make a call there" to which I reply "If you want to read the rules and tell me what call should have been made, go for it" he was quick to blurt out "A charge would have been nice"... this is the point where I should have put a lid on it, but I just had to say "No, your not listening to me - I said read the rules first"

I guess I really should start to control myself - its going to get me into trouble; but gosh, when a clueless parent gets going, responding is just so tempting.

Wow, great stuff! A Mark Padgett down under!

[jearef]

It's nice to see that I'm not the only official who fires back at the fans from time to time. My most recent was last night. Crew arrives at the gym an hour and 15 minutes prior to game time, only to learn that the J.V. officials had not appeared. Coach pleads with us to work the J.V. game, which is now 30 minutes behind schedule. One partner tells him that his knees won't make it through two games; the other says his back won't make it (both in their mid-50's). I tell coach that I'll do it alone (52 with an artificial hip; I'm the one who REALLY needs the warm-up time). Anyway, I do the J.V. game by myself. No incidents except for a tech on a kid who pushes another kid on a dead ball.

Now go on to the varsity. Visitors are much better, and are up 25 as time is running out in the first half. Home #12 jumps to throw a pass, comes down "funny" on his leg, and twists his knee. Time expires. As we are leaving, elderly fan (#12's grandfather) starts blasting us. I always feel badly when a kid gets hurt, and when grandpa starts to pile on. . .let's just say I had heard enough. I stop, go back toward the bleachers, and look up at him. "I'm sorry, sir, I didn't quite hear that. Is there something you'd like to say?" Silence. "C'mon sir, you can't embarrass yourself more than you already have. Speak up, and give me a reason to have this nice officer escort you to the parking lot." More silence. I swear, I was so angry that if the guy had been standing in front of me, I might have punched him. I wish I could control myself better in those situations.

One day, fans are going to realize that they are going to destroy the game. Officials will tire of the abuse, and there will be no one left to work the games. Just once, I'd love to take my crew and walk off the floor when the fans are going over the line. But that wouldn't be fair to the kids, and the game is about them. I can still dream, however. . . .

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by grunewar

Wow, great stuff! A Mark Padgett down under!

What do Australians use to buy chess sets? A check, mate.

[fullor30]

Originally Posted by Cleefy

One match I'll always remember was midway through last year at a Squad Tournament (rep basketball for local towns, for you Americans).

Spectator is yelling off her nut at my partner and I, and the smartarse in me (as always actually), got the better of me. I turned to her, and said back, quite loudly "Hey, I don't yell at you when you're working at McDonalds". I embarrassed her quite a bit, and she kept it shut for the rest of the match. Another exchange I had last night in our domestic competition comes to mind here too - father says "C'mon ref, you gotta make a call there" to which I reply "If you want to read the rules and tell me what call should have been made, go for it" he was quick to blurt out "A charge would have been nice"... this is the point where I should have put a lid on it, but I just had to say "No, your not listening to me - I said read the rules first"

I guess I really should start to control myself - its going to get me into trouble; but gosh, when a clueless parent gets going, responding is just so tempting.

[Cleefy]

Originally Posted by fullor30

Whats sad about that?

The other spectators had a laugh...

[Adam]

Originally Posted by A Pennsylvania Coach

I say "Thanks" with a smile on my face and am almost at the door when he says "Uh, sarcasm."

"I know."

[doubleringer]

Back in the day when I did alot of weekend tourney ball, I was working in a school where the fans sat up above the courts as the lower bleachers were pushed in so we could have two courts. I'm sure you know the set up. Anyway, I'm going back to position after calling a foul and a "well informed fan" yells out, "HOW DO YOU CALL THAT FOUL?!" The smartass in me took over and I stopped, looked up and replied, "Well sir, first I blew my whistle nice and loud and then I put my fist straight up in the air, indicating that I had a foul. Had my hand been open, it would have meant that I called a violation such as travelling. Thank you for asking, do you have any further questions?"

He was a bit embarassed and didn't say a word the rest of the game. I know I shouldn't have and I wouldn't do it again, but it was REALLY fun at the time.

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by doubleringer

Back in the day when I did alot of weekend tourney ball, I was working in a school where the fans sat up above the courts as the lower bleachers were pushed in so we could have two courts. I'm sure you know the set up. Anyway, I'm going back to position after calling a foul and a "well informed fan" yells out, "HOW DO YOU CALL THAT FOUL?!" The smartass in me took over and I stopped, looked up and replied, "Well sir, first I blew my whistle nice and loud and then I put my fist straight up in the air, indicating that I had a foul. Had my hand been open, it would have meant that I called a violation such as travelling. Thank you for asking, do you have any further questions?"

He was a bit embarassed and didn't say a word the rest of the game. I know I shouldn't have and I wouldn't do it again, but it was REALLY fun at the time.

Excellent. Take a cookie out of petty cash.