Hilarious (to me anyway) post-game exchange
 

6th grade girls travel league playoffs last night at a nearby rec center. Barely room for spectators along the wall. Interesting game. The teams are only permitted to play full-court defense in the 2nd and 4th quarters. The visitors were tall and slow, and the home team was small and quick. So visitors go up 14-4 at end of first, home up 20-18 at the half, visitors back up 26-24 at end of third, and home wins 33-28. Fans were in our ears the whole night, but I never really looked at any of them so I couldn't tell who was supporting which team.

The wife and I were going straight to an HS playoff game afterwards, so I ducked in the locker room for a quick shower and to change. I come out and meet her in the lobby about 10 minutes later, and on the way out some guy says "Nice game, ref!"

I say "Thanks" with a smile on my face and am almost at the door when he says "Uh, sarcasm." :D Apparently he was a supporter of the losing team, and wanted to throw an barb at me but failed miserably. I could just imagine what went through his head in those moments "Crap, I wanted to insult him but now he thinks he really did a good game. How do I fix this??!?!!?!?" :D :D

Your reply: "Coming from a real expert like you, that means a lot."

"No, I really mean it. Thanks."

Had a dad mouth "pathetic" towards me as I was walking off the floor after a freshman girls B game. I pointed back at the court and mouthed back "that was!" He almost dropped his cell phone in amazement. Ahhhhh...the power of scarcasm! :D

VB game last night... had a play OOB where the ball ended up under the feet of a fan. He picks it up and half-heartedly passes it back to me (it made it half way). I take 2 steps, get the ball and hear from the same guy...

"Gotta call the contact out there..."
My reply "sorry, I don't speak 'fan'..."

"I know."

Back in the day when I did alot of weekend tourney ball, I was working in a school where the fans sat up above the courts as the lower bleachers were pushed in so we could have two courts. I'm sure you know the set up. Anyway, I'm going back to position after calling a foul and a "well informed fan" yells out, "HOW DO YOU CALL THAT FOUL?!" The smartass in me took over and I stopped, looked up and replied, "Well sir, first I blew my whistle nice and loud and then I put my fist straight up in the air, indicating that I had a foul. Had my hand been open, it would have meant that I called a violation such as travelling. Thank you for asking, do you have any further questions?"

He was a bit embarassed and didn't say a word the rest of the game. I know I shouldn't have and I wouldn't do it again, but it was REALLY fun at the time.

Excellent. Take a cookie out of petty cash.

"Uh, yea, me too!"

"No, no, you were right the first time."

I had a fan that I saw at several different locations - different teams. He told me coming off the court once that he didn't know "nothin" about basketball but he knew I really sucked. I smiled and said thanks. Next season he's back but as we're going off the court at end of game he asks why I made a particular call. I took the time to explain and he thanked me and held up 3 fingers. Said that's how many I "owed" him. From that night on - I'd walk into a gym and if was there he'd hold up 2 or 3 fingers even before game started. Got along great after that - he was quite a comedian.

I had a somewhat similar situation happen in the first futbol (soccer) game I ever officiated. Now I need to preface my story with the following information, I had a great grandmother on my maternal grandmother's side of my family who was Jewish, my godfather was Jewish and three of my closest teammates (basketball and golf) from high school are Jewish. Okay, now on to the true story.

My first soccer game ever (and the first one I had ever seen in person or on television) officiated was in Fall 1993. I should also state for the record that if one can officiate basketball, then once one learns the rules of soccer, one can officiate soccer easily; but that is fodder for another thread. It was the freshmen game of a boys' H.S. FR-JV-VAR triple-header between two all boys' Catholic high schools. Toledo St. Francis de Sales H.S. (home team) and Cleveland St. Ignatius H.S. (visiting team). For those who have never attended a H.S. soccer game, that fans usually (almost 100% of the time) sit on the side of the fiels opposite the side of the field from the teams. We were using a Dual System of Control (two-whistle, kind of like a two-person basketball officiating crew) and I was on the specator side of the field.

The game was played on a pleasant Saturday morning (game time: 11am) in early September. The St. Ignatius fans were brutal but what do fans know anyway. Two-thirds of the way through the first half a St. Ignatius player went down with an injury. There was no foul involved because it was just a couple of players kicking at the ball, but, none-the-less, the St. Ignatius fans were upset that no foul was called against St. Francis. While the player was being attended to by the medical staff, a father from St. Ignatius stood up and yelled: "Jesus Christ! What a terrible call!" I could not resist responding. Without thinking (since when has not thinking ever stopped me from speaking my mind) about what I wanted to say and I turned to the specators and said in a voice loud enough for all of the spectators to hear: "Sir, I am of the Jewish faith and today is my Sabboth. I am shocked and dismayed that the parent of a student-athlete of such a fine Cathlolic school of secondary education would take his Lord's name in vain." It became very quiet and we never heard a word from the St. Ignatius fans the rest of the game. True story.

MTD, Sr.

I was at a smaller school last season and was getting ready to put the ball in play at the beginning of the second quarter when a guy of about 70 or 80 said something in a crabby-old-guy-voice to get my attention. I thought, "Whoa, boy, here it comes."

He said: "I've seen you here before. You work harder than anyone I've seen and you take charge and do a good job."

You could've knocked me over with a feather.

Here's the nicest thing a fan ever did for me. I'm not posting this to toot my own horn, just to relate the story. Early last rec season, I was entering the MS gym down the street from my house to work my games. We wear our uniforms to these games. An elderly couple was entering at the same time and the man was holding the door open for his wife. I reached to hold the door for him. He looked at my jersey (my jacket was open in front) and said that I should go first because I was "more important" than him. I looked at him and asked him if he was a veteran of the armed forces. He said yes. I then told him he was more important and he should go through first. He smiled and said thank you. I said, "No, thank you."

The following week, he and his wife came to the gym again. I guess they had a grandchild playing. She came up to me with a paper plate full of homemade cookies and insisted I take them. She said it was for making her husband feel so special the previous week. Not wanting to hurt her feelings, I accepted the cookies. I took them home with me after my games and later that day donated them to a shelter for battered women near my house. The executive director there is a friend of mine and I told her the story. She was very appreciative and when I saw the wife a few weeks later, I told her what I did. She was extremely happy and wound up baking a few dozen more cookies for the shelter.

oh, my gosh, Mark, warm fuzzies from you, instead of wicked coach baiting? I suspected, when I saw snow on my lawn this morning, that he!! really was freezing over, but now I'm without a doubt!!