Hilarious (to me anyway) post-game exchange

[grunewar]

Originally Posted by Cleefy

One match I'll always remember was midway through last year at a Squad Tournament (rep basketball for local towns, for you Americans).

Spectator is yelling off her nut at my partner and I, and the smartarse in me (as always actually), got the better of me. I turned to her, and said back, quite loudly "Hey, I don't yell at you when you're working at McDonalds". I embarrassed her quite a bit, and she kept it shut for the rest of the match.

Another exchange I had last night in our domestic competition comes to mind here too - father says "C'mon ref, you gotta make a call there" to which I reply "If you want to read the rules and tell me what call should have been made, go for it" he was quick to blurt out "A charge would have been nice"... this is the point where I should have put a lid on it, but I just had to say "No, your not listening to me - I said read the rules first"

I guess I really should start to control myself - its going to get me into trouble; but gosh, when a clueless parent gets going, responding is just so tempting.

Wow, great stuff! A Mark Padgett down under!

[jearef]

It's nice to see that I'm not the only official who fires back at the fans from time to time. My most recent was last night. Crew arrives at the gym an hour and 15 minutes prior to game time, only to learn that the J.V. officials had not appeared. Coach pleads with us to work the J.V. game, which is now 30 minutes behind schedule. One partner tells him that his knees won't make it through two games; the other says his back won't make it (both in their mid-50's). I tell coach that I'll do it alone (52 with an artificial hip; I'm the one who REALLY needs the warm-up time). Anyway, I do the J.V. game by myself. No incidents except for a tech on a kid who pushes another kid on a dead ball.

Now go on to the varsity. Visitors are much better, and are up 25 as time is running out in the first half. Home #12 jumps to throw a pass, comes down "funny" on his leg, and twists his knee. Time expires. As we are leaving, elderly fan (#12's grandfather) starts blasting us. I always feel badly when a kid gets hurt, and when grandpa starts to pile on. . .let's just say I had heard enough. I stop, go back toward the bleachers, and look up at him. "I'm sorry, sir, I didn't quite hear that. Is there something you'd like to say?" Silence. "C'mon sir, you can't embarrass yourself more than you already have. Speak up, and give me a reason to have this nice officer escort you to the parking lot." More silence. I swear, I was so angry that if the guy had been standing in front of me, I might have punched him. I wish I could control myself better in those situations.

One day, fans are going to realize that they are going to destroy the game. Officials will tire of the abuse, and there will be no one left to work the games. Just once, I'd love to take my crew and walk off the floor when the fans are going over the line. But that wouldn't be fair to the kids, and the game is about them. I can still dream, however. . . .

[grunewar]

Jearef - you woulda punched a grandpa? Yikes!

PS - kudos for stepping up and working the JV game alone!

[jearef]

Originally Posted by grunewar

Jearef - you woulda punched a grandpa? Yikes!

I'd have dropped him like a bad habit. Not your proverbial grandpa, as in grey hair, no teeth, a cane, etc. This guy was late 50's, early 60's. No question it would have been the absolute wrong thing to do, and likely would have ruined my officiating career. I just can't remember the last time I was that angry.

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by jearef

Not your proverbial grandpa, as in grey hair, no teeth, a cane, etc.

Hey - you've been looking at my picture again.

[26 Year Gap]

Originally Posted by grunewar

Jearef - you woulda punched a grandpa? Yikes!

PS - kudos for stepping up and working the JV game alone!

I am 52 and have been a grandpa for a few years.

And if the partners couldn't do 2 3 man games, maybe it is time to really lighten up the schedule.

[fullor30]

Originally Posted by jearef

It's nice to see that I'm not the only official who fires back at the fans from time to time. My most recent was last night. Crew arrives at the gym an hour and 15 minutes prior to game time, only to learn that the J.V. officials had not appeared. Coach pleads with us to work the J.V. game, which is now 30 minutes behind schedule. One partner tells him that his knees won't make it through two games; the other says his back won't make it (both in their mid-50's). I tell coach that I'll do it alone (52 with an artificial hip; I'm the one who REALLY needs the warm-up time). Anyway, I do the J.V. game by myself. No incidents except for a tech on a kid who pushes another kid on a dead ball.

Now go on to the varsity. Visitors are much better, and are up 25 as time is running out in the first half. Home #12 jumps to throw a pass, comes down "funny" on his leg, and twists his knee. Time expires. As we are leaving, elderly fan (#12's grandfather) starts blasting us. I always feel badly when a kid gets hurt, and when grandpa starts to pile on. . .let's just say I had heard enough. I stop, go back toward the bleachers, and look up at him. "I'm sorry, sir, I didn't quite hear that. Is there something you'd like to say?" Silence. "C'mon sir, you can't embarrass yourself more than you already have. Speak up, and give me a reason to have this nice officer escort you to the parking lot." More silence. I swear, I was so angry that if the guy had been standing in front of me, I might have punched him. I wish I could control myself better in those situations.

One day, fans are going to realize that they are going to destroy the game. Officials will tire of the abuse, and there will be no one left to work the games. Just once, I'd love to take my crew and walk off the floor when the fans are going over the line. But that wouldn't be fair to the kids, and the game is about them. I can still dream, however. . . .

Just me, I can't believe your partners didn't jump in.

[Rita C]

Originally Posted by fullor30

Just me, I can't believe your partners didn't jump in.

I agree. They should be fit enough to do two three man games.

Rita

[Rich]

Originally Posted by Rita C

I agree. They should be fit enough to do two three man games.

Rita

Really. If I was the athletic director, I would be placing a few calls.

I got a phone call last season from an AD who was short one official for the 6PM JV game before my varsity game. In WI, you CANNOT start any level with one official, so there were two choices -- find an official or cancel the game. I went and worked the double, JV/V boys, 2-person in both games. Only subvarsity I've worked in 4 years, but it never even occurred to me to turn it down.

Originally Posted by RichMSN

Really. If I was the athletic director, I would be placing a few calls.

I got a phone call last season from an AD who was short one official for the 6PM JV game before my varsity game. In WI, you CANNOT start any level with one official, so there were two choices -- find an official or cancel the game. I went and worked the double, JV/V boys, 2-person in both games. Only subvarsity I've worked in 4 years, but it never even occurred to me to turn it down.

Had this happen once this year. A couple days before heading to a small town nearby to work a boys/girls V double, the AD calls one of my partners (the one who scheduled the games) and asked if we didn't mind coming down earlier to work the girls JV game in addition to the two we already had. We said sure, no problem. Come to find out, the two officials doing the junior high girls game had only the type of certification that allowed them to work JH games, but not JV games. The AD did ask a couple of guys from another town close to us (same driving distance) to come down and do the JV game (they have the same certifications we had for JH all the way to V), but they didn't want to make the drive for the money they were going to get for it. Really, it was the same amount we get here in the metro area for some of the subvarsity stuff anyway, and it wasn't that long of a drive!

Also had one sitch where the assignor called me an hour before the tipoff time, and asked if I had my bag with me. Lo and behold, I did. The game was about a 30 minute drive, so he told me to get there as quickly as I could, and he called the AD to let him know I was on the way. I was actually on the court in time for the 15 minute jurisdiction time. The AD was too impressed, and said he was going to call the assignor and make sure I got some more games at the school.

[Juulie Downs]

Originally Posted by jearef

I swear, I was so angry that if the guy had been standing in front of me, I might have punched him. I wish I could control myself better in those situations.

One day, fans are going to realize that they are going to destroy the game. .

Sounds like you need to work on some anger issues. And if you had punched that grandpa, it wouldn't be the fans who destroyed that game...

[jearef]

Originally Posted by Juulie Downs

Sounds like you need to work on some anger issues. And if you had punched that grandpa, it wouldn't be the fans who destroyed that game...

C'mon, Juulie. With all due respect, if you're looking for a reason to chastize, at least read ALL of the posts I put up about the issue. Particularly the one that says "it would absolutely have been the wrong thing to do", "it would have ruined my career", etc. I recognize that initiating a physical confrontation with a fan is never acceptable; I was simply trying to convey the extreme level of anger I was feeling at the moment. Anger control is not the absence of anger; anger control is the ability to recognize the emotion and resist the urge to act upon it. Under the circumstances that presented themselves last night, I was able to do that.

If you can go out on the floor, work your rear end off in two consecutive games (the first of which you worked alone), see a fine young man hurt and then listen to a fan screaming that it is your fault without getting angry, you're a far better person than I. Perhaps you are able to do just that, and if so, you are to be commended. I can always take whatever abuse the fans dish out about my eyesight, my family tree, my overall ability, etc. We all have our "hot buttons", and the fellow last night found mine. I'm glad the confrontation was limited to a verbal exchange.

[Juulie Downs]

Originally Posted by jearef

C'mon, Juulie. With all due respect, if you're looking for a reason to chastize, at least read ALL of the posts I put up about the issue. Particularly the one that says "it would absolutely have been the wrong thing to do", "it would have ruined my career", etc. I recognize that initiating a physical confrontation with a fan is never acceptable; I was simply trying to convey the extreme level of anger I was feeling at the moment. Anger control is not the absence of anger; anger control is the ability to recognize the emotion and resist the urge to act upon it. Under the circumstances that presented themselves last night, I was able to do that.

If you can go out on the floor, work your rear end off in two consecutive games (the first of which you worked alone), see a fine young man hurt and then listen to a fan screaming that it is your fault without getting angry, you're a far better person than I. Perhaps you are able to do just that, and if so, you are to be commended. I can always take whatever abuse the fans dish out about my eyesight, my family tree, my overall ability, etc. We all have our "hot buttons", and the fellow last night found mine. I'm glad the confrontation was limited to a verbal exchange.

I was responding to this sentence from your post, "I was so angry that if the guy had been standing in front of me, I might have punched him. I wish I could control myself better in those situations." I would have been exceedingly angry too, and I'm not saying that the anger is wrong. It's natural. But even you were worried about how you might handle that anger, and that's what you CAN and SHOULD work on. Do it NOW before you regret your response. And in fairness to you, I'll agree with Rich, that "grandpa" also needs to work on his anger issues too, he didn't vent his anger well at all!

[jearef]

Originally Posted by Juulie Downs

I was responding to this sentence from your post, "I was so angry that if the guy had been standing in front of me, I might have punched him. I wish I could control myself better in those situations." I would have been exceedingly angry too, and I'm not saying that the anger is wrong. It's natural. But even you were worried about how you might handle that anger, and that's what you CAN and SHOULD work on. Do it NOW before you regret your response. And in fairness to you, I'll agree with Rich, that "grandpa" also needs to work on his anger issues too, he didn't vent his anger well at all!

I understand the point you were trying to make. Twenty-three years in, and I still haven't had a physical altercation with a fan. I've been tempted on few occasions, but I've always been able to resist the primal urge. We all work SO hard at doing what we do: study, training, camps, scrimmages, time away from our children and our spouses, etc. Then to have some dope in the stands scream at us . . . . I know it comes with the territory, and we all knew that coming in. Like I said in the first post, one day, those folks will realize they are ruining the game for the kids. I just hope it isn't too late when they do come to that realization.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by Juulie Downs

Sounds like you need to work on some anger issues. And if you had punched that grandpa, it wouldn't be the fans who destroyed that game...

Sounds like grandpa needs to work on "shutting his freaking trap" issues, to me.