coach addressing ref by first name

[beachbum]

Situation:

boys Midschool game Coach for team A is long time friend. Every time I made a call or a non call that he disliked he would use my first name and yell "come on lets get it right". My partner stopped play and asked him to discontinue calling me by my name and address me as ref.

later in the game with me on his side, he again addressed me loudly and by name. I walked over and said "coach, I would like to be addressed as "Mr official" during this game". He jumped up and sarcastically said "OK Mr. Official I want to complain about the calls". I said, "coach, what would your question be?"

He then said " Oh now you are trying to show me that you know something", and walked away. I decided that a "T" would probably just escalate the problem, so I walked back to my post. After all, this is just mid school.

He was still chirping about this being the worst officiating he had seen, so as I passed, I said that he was acting un sportsman like and any further comments would result in a "T". that ended it. His team was blown out with more fouls called on the other team.

so, my question is, how do the experienced officials handle a coach when they are addressing you by first name????.

[JugglingReferee]

A long time friend treated you this way? Wow...

Seems like he needs to be on the receiving end of a heart to heart disucssion.

[zm1283]

Originally Posted by JugglingReferee

A long time friend treated you this way? Wow...

Seems like he needs to be on the receiving end of a heart to heart disucssion.

No kidding. I have called games for several coaches that I know fairly well, including a couple that I went to high school with, and they usually lay off of me and my partner.

[Eckley]

I know most of the coaches in my area as well and some of them will say my first name loudly now and again, which bothers me a little bit. It was nice to do a game out of the area a few days ago because NO ONE had any idea who I was. I never realized how nice it was to be anonymous.

[Jurassic Referee]

Originally Posted by beachbum

Situation:

boys Midschool game Coach for team A is long time friend. Every time I made a call or a non call that he disliked he would use my first name and yell "come on lets get it right". My partner stopped play and asked him to discontinue calling me by my name and address me as ref.

later in the game with me on his side, he again addressed me loudly and by name. I walked over and said "coach, I would like to be addressed as "Mr official" during this game". He jumped up and sarcastically said "OK Mr. Official I want to complain about the calls". I said, "coach, what would your question be?"

He then said " Oh now you are trying to show me that you know something", and walked away. I decided that a "T" would probably just escalate the problem, so I walked back to my post. After all, this is just mid school.

He was still chirping about this being the worst officiating he had seen, so as I passed, I said that he was acting un sportsman like and any further comments would result in a "T". that ended it. His team was blown out with more fouls called on the other team.

so, my question is, how do the experienced officials handle a coach when they are addressing you by first name????.

The problem is NOT the coach calling you by your first name. That's completely irrelevant to your problem.The problem is that you are taking way too much crap from that particular coach. And it being "middle school" or him being a supposed "long time friend" has got nuthin' to do with it either.

You do NOT let coaches constantly complain about calls or make derogatory comments like this jerk did to you. Ever!

You've got two choices. (1) Grow some balls and take care of bidness. Warn once and whack.(2) Continue letting this goof treat you like his personal whipping boy, as detailed in your post above. If you choose #2, then you deserve everything that you get...and you should quit whining about it.

Sorry...but there it is.

[beachbum]

So, maybe this is something i should get use to. I guess it comes into play more when they use your name when they are being critical. Plus, everyone in the stands now knew my name and could use it to heckel me.

I wouldn't have complained if the coach would have said "Nice call or nice game and used my first name.

[beachbum]

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

The problem is NOT the coach calling you by your first name. That's completely irrelevant to your problem.The problem is that you are taking way too much crap from that particular coach. And it being "middle school" or him being a supposed "long time friend" has got nuthin' to do with it either.

You do NOT let coaches constantly complain about calls or make derogatory comments like this jerk did to you. Ever!

You've got two choices. (1) Grow some balls and take care of bidness. Warn once and whack.(2) Continue letting this goof treat you like his personal whipping boy, as detailed in your post above. If you choose #2, then you deserve everything that you get...and you should quit whining about it.

Sorry...but there it is.

thanks. I think you are right on.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by beachbum

So, maybe this is something i should get use to. I guess it comes into play more when they use your name when they are being critical. Plus, everyone in the stands now knew my name and could use it to heckel me.

I wouldn't have complained if the coach would have said "Nice call or nice game and used my first name.

You'll find that many of us prefer when coaches use their first name and will always use theirs, too. Others feel differently.

[CMHCoachNRef]

Originally Posted by beachbum

Situation:

so, my question is, how do the experienced officials handle a coach when they are addressing you by first name????.

I know many officials in my area do not allow coaches to use the official's first name when addressing them. Some of them just don't like to hear their name shouted out (perhaps it reminds them of their childhood ). Others feel that it sounds too "friendly" that the coach and referee are on a first name basis. I view it a bit differently. First of all, we ought to know each other's first names -- after all, we introduced ourselves to one another before the game. When I am at work, if a client likes a decision I have made, they will typically use my first name. When a client does not like a decision I have made, they will typically use my first name as well. They don't refer to me by my title, they use my first name. Therefore, I have never had a problem with coaches using my first name -- as long as it is done in a courteous way -- even if they happen to disagree with a judgment that just went againt them.

[mick]

Originally Posted by beachbum

so, my question is, how do the experienced officials handle a coach when they are addressing you by first name????.

No problems.
Since I have a tendancy to shut out environmental noise, hearing my name puts me on alert. Thus, I am more likely to respond in kind.
...Yet, the coaches remain "Coach" to me.

[Freddy]

Welcome Back Jurassic Referee!

[mbyron]

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

You've got two choices. (1) Grow some balls and take care of bidness. Warn once and whack.(2) Continue letting this goof treat you like his personal whipping boy, as detailed in your post above. If you choose #2, then you deserve everything that you get...and you should quit whining about it.

Glad to see you're back, and in fine fettle, too.

What have you done with LahMe?

[ref2coach]

Originally Posted by Jurassic Referee

You do NOT let coaches constantly complain about calls or make derogatory comments like this jerk did to you. Ever!

You've got two choices. (1) Grow some balls and take care of bidness. Warn once and whack.(2) Continue letting this goof treat you like his personal whipping boy, as detailed in your post above. If you choose #2, then you deserve everything that you get...and you should quit whining about it.

Sorry...but there it is.

Good to see you posting again. When I came back to the board after the completion of my soccer season, I immediately missed your curmudgeonly wisdom.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by RichMSN

You'll find that many of us prefer when coaches use their first name and will always use theirs, too. Others feel differently.

For HS games put me in the "differently" category. The reason being that none of the coaches know me personally. I was brought to this community by the military, I didn't grow up here, didn't attend school with any of the coaches, and none served in the military with me.

There is only one coach who I wouldn't mind calling me by my first name and that's because when he sees me away from games he greets me by my first name and he engages me in cordial conversation. No other coach around here does that.

[Adam]

I don't mind first names. JR is right, though, you're taking too much. And frankly, I take less in middle school than in high school. Ask him much sooner what his question is.