coach addressing ref by first name

[rockyroad]

I try not to use a coach's first name during the game - it's always "Coach" or "Coach Smith". But I have no problem with them using my first name...as Mick said, it gets my attention. With all of the "Hey Ref" stuff coming from the stands, I want the coach to be able to get my attention when they need to. It's what comes after the name that matters - in other words, if they say "Hey DJ, give me a 30 second time-out." we are fine. If they say "Hey DJ, you suck tonight." then we have a problem!

The other thing that will happen as you become more "well-known" in an area is that table crews will begin to know your name also. At least at schools where the clock operator, scorekeeper, etc.. are the same people all the time. It really isn't that big of a deal.

[PIAA REF]

I kinda agree with Snack and JR. But with this issue I may be a middle of the road type of guy. They can say hey Steve didn't he get bumped I have no problem but when it becomes an ongoing berating of my name then I have an issue. And to go back to this thread and threads of the past Coaches will respect you more for doing what is right ALL THE TIME. If they are deserving of a T give them one don't worry about getting scratched or whatever the case may be. One thing that frustrates me as I watch the JV games that precedes my game is some younger officials that allow coaches to walk all over them. Stand up to them, once you do you will gain respect. BUT there is a fine line. When I say stand up to them you need to do so in a professional manner. The other thing that I see is we have officials that have this big EGO trip as soon as they put the shirt and whistle on. If you want to be respected as an official you need to give respect to coaches. Answer their questions when they can be answered. A read an article that was written by a NCAA ref and it made a good point when talking to coaches. It's ok to allow coaches to have the last word every now and again. Because as officials we have the final word.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

For HS games put me in the "differently" category. The reason being that none of the coaches know me personally. I was brought to this community by the military, I didn't grow up here, didn't attend school with any of the coaches, and none served in the military with me.

There is only one coach who I wouldn't mind calling me by my first name and that's because when he sees me away from games he greets me by my first name and he engages me in cordial conversation. No other coach around here does that.

I am not from my area, either. Makes no difference. I would no sooner insist upon a player referring to me other than as "Rich," let alone a coach.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by RichMSN

I am not from my area, either. Makes no difference. I would no sooner insist upon a player referring to me other than as "Rich," let alone a coach.

Definitely wouldn't have high school or college players address me by my first name. But that has nothing to do with officiating. I don't let my children address adults by first name unless there is a 'Mr.' or 'Miss' in front of it. And I expect the same respect from their friends when they address me. All my teenage son's friends address me as Mr. 'LastName'. My 10 year-old's friends usually go with Mr. 'FirstName'.

[Rich]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

Definitely wouldn't have high school or college players address me by my first name. But that has nothing to do with officiating. I don't let my children address adults by first name unless there is a 'Mr.' or 'Miss' in front of it. And I expect the same respect from their friends when they address me. All my teenage son's friends address me as Mr. 'LastName'. My 10 year-old's friends usually go with Mr. 'FirstName'.

So you're one of these "I'm Mr. So-and-So" guys? I always like working with them so I can follow up with "and I'm Rich."

I'm not as big into formalities, apparently.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by RichMSN

So you're one of these "I'm Mr. So-and-So" guys? I always like working with them so I can follow up with "and I'm Rich."

I'm not as big into formalities, apparently.

It's really a southern/military thing. With kids, it's not so much about formality as it is about respect.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by RichMSN

So you're one of these "I'm Mr. So-and-So" guys? I always like working with them so I can follow up with "and I'm Rich."

I'm not as big into formalities, apparently.

I live in the South. And this area has the highest concentration of US military population in the world. Not a single official I've worked with has ever introduced themselves by just their first name. With the coaches we say First Name/Last Name or no name at all. With players it's "Mr. LastName".

It's just how it is. And why the feeling of satisfaction about saying "and I'm Rich"? Are you saying there is something wrong with your partners who say "Mr. so-and-so"?

[beachbum]

I guess it's not whether they use your first name, it's in what context.

hey Bill, I think that was a push
or
Bill, you butt head, you missed the call cause you can't see

[Rich]

Originally Posted by BadNewsRef

I'm live in the South. And this area has the highest concentration of US military population in the world. Not a single official I've worked with has ever introduced themselves by just their first name. With the coaches we say First Name/Last Name or no name at all.

It's just how it is. What is so special about you saying "and I'm Rich". Are you saying there is something wrong with your partners who say "Mr. so-and-so"?

I find it stuffy. It's one step less silly to me than "We are your officials tonight." I'd rather not introduce myself at all that say I am "Mr. So-and-so."

So be it. I feel one can show respect without being formal.

I lived in the South for 4 years and never once introduced myself as Mr. Anything.

[Mark Padgett]

If you don't want a coach to call you by your first name, introduce yourself as Alsdfuohqwerltnwledfjgasodfgkdrinldnpakdklkter. Works every time for me.

[Raymond]

Originally Posted by RichMSN

I find it stuffy. It's one step less silly to me than "We are your officials tonight." I'd rather not introduce myself at all that say I am "Mr. So-and-so."

So be it. I feel one can show respect without being formal.

I lived in the South for 4 years and never once introduced myself as Mr. Anything.

I'm one of the most easy-going referees you'll meet in your life. I grew up in California so I know everything there is to know about being informal.

This has nothing to do with being stuffy. I know parents who would pop their child in the head if they ever heard them address an adult by their first name. I often hear "Pardon me, Sir" from folks who are way older than me. On my father's side me, my brothers, and my cousins caught hell anytime we left off 'Uncle' or 'Aunt' when addressing our parents' siblings/in-laws.

I now work as a civilian on an Air Force base. On the 9-to-5 Mr/Miss/rank is expected. Away from work I insist my co-workers use my first name but there are quite a few who won't. We could be drunk together talking about sex and any sorts of debauchery and they still will put 'Mr.' in front of my name.

It's weird hearing my first name coming from a man. I did 22 years in the military. I'm used to my buddies just yelling out my last name by itself. I've had to train myself over the years to introduce myself by first name when meeting new people in social settings. Oh well, I digress.

[beachbum]

Concerning the sex thing, I've always made my wife call me MR.

[CMHCoachNRef]

Originally Posted by RichMSN

So you're one of these "I'm Mr. So-and-So" guys? I always like working with them so I can follow up with "and I'm Rich."

I'm not as big into formalities, apparently.

Two examples of the opposite side of the "Southern" or "Military" view of this topic. When I was 16, I got a job in a grocery store. One of the ladies happened to be the mom of one of my classmates -- I referred to her as Mrs. She told me that I made her feel old and she insisted that I call her Michelle. So, Michelle she was.

I have worked for the same company for over 25 years (started with them when I was 8 ). Almost that long ago, I referred to one of the senior system engineers as Mr. Holgate. He quickly snapped back, "My dad's name was Mr. Holgate, my name is Tom."

While I always referred to adults by Mr. or Mrs. (I have a friend who still does), I never really liked being called Mr. In my case, my dad was a doctor, so I couldn't even use Mr. Holgate's line. I preferred that my players called me Coach and my first name (when I was younger, just my first name was fine).

Ironically, I have never liked being called by my last name (perhaps, it's because my last name is Dumass -- you know doom-is ). I always preferred my first name.

[just another ref]

Originally Posted by mark padgett

if you don't want a coach to call you by your first name, introduce yourself as alsdfuohqwerltnwledfjgasodfgkdrinldnpakdklkter. Works every time for me.

C'mon Al!! That's over the back!

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by CMHCoachNRef

Ironically, I have never liked being called by my last name (perhaps, it's because my last name is Dumass -- you know doom-is ). I always preferred my first name.

I worked with a guy whose last name is Cheeseman. When his wife was pregnant, I told him that if it was a boy, they should name the kid "Hammond". He didn't get it.