what does a ref think when a player argues or talks?

[DrakeM]

If a player who committed a foul wants a brief explanation,
no problem. If a player who was not involved in the play starts griping, NOW we have a problem. When this happens, I usually ask the player, "were you in the play?" Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
As far as holding a grudge for the rest of the game?
If you're a total thug, you might find yourself out rather quickly. For game management and control purposes of course.