When did this happen?

[JRutledge]

I was quitely telling a coach tonite about his star player and his mouth. I was saying this to the head coach and one of his silly assistant's had the nerve to say to me, "you show him respect too."

When did kids deserve respect? When did a 16 year old deserve respect from an adult more than 10 years (and many that are here more than 10 years by far ) deserve respect. Especially if he is like most, that do not pay rent, do not own a car and definetly in most cases commit certain crimes will have it stricken from their record after they get 18. Did someone not send me a memo? When did kids over 10 years my junior, become so important that adults feel that basically children under the law can talk to me as an adult, let alone an official any kind of way?

When I was a kid, my mother would have dragged my behind off the court herself if I even looked at an adult with the wrong intent. Now these kids think they are in the pros and that because they are the star (who cares if your name is in the paper) and you think someone owes you something.

We have gone waaaayyy to far with this. I am not any of the player's peer last time I checked. I cannot even relate to many younger people that are in their early 20s and I am not 30 yet. And I am going to have to listen to some snot nosed kid and show him some respect because all he has done in life is play the same sport I did over 10 years ago (better than me I might add, but I was not 6'2 either) and has yet to go to college. And considering all the so-called great players that go to college and never finish, I am not personally impressed. But then again, I do not get impressed by athletic endeavors either.

But maybe it is just me.

Peace

[Redneck Ref]

A few weeks back (JV game) I called a "T" for profanity. When I went to report it I also told the coach what I had. He wanted to know what his player said and I told the coach that I would not repeat what the player said because I wouldn't be any better than the player who said it. The coach then told me that the only reason he used profanity is because I didn't call a foul on the other team when this player was shooting. I told the coach that's what's wrong with the game and life today because everyone has an excuss and also that he wasn't setting a good example with his team.

In order to get respect you have to show respect and I don't think our generation of youger players have been taught to respect officials. They witness how coaches and fans yell and use profanity at officials through out the game and think that's the norm.

[Mark Dexter]

I think everyone is entitled to a certain amount of respect just for being human and being who they are.

That said, I don't know what the assistant coach was talking about, but it doesn't fit with my definition of respect. The asst. is probably referring more to the fact that this was a "star" player and everyone should kiss the ground on which the kid walks.

BTW, did you T up the assistant?

[paulis]

Sometimes the best way to get something is to give something. Why not just take the high road and make others travel along the same path?

[rocky]

sounds to me like someone needs to get out of the game.-- Lumping all the players as one is extremely poor. I am sure not all the players you are officiating are criminals, i am sure most are very good kids. It aint a wonder officials get a bad name with attitude like this from officials. No you dont need to bow to them but at least treat them fairly -- dont think they have robbed you .

one word works here----RELAX

[Mark Padgett]

Originally posted by Red Neck Ref
A few weeks back (JV game) I called a "T" for profanity. When I went to report it I also told the coach what I had. He wanted to know what his player said and I told the coach that I would not repeat what the player said because I wouldn't be any better than the player who said it.

I really don't have a problem with repeating to the coach what a player said by using such euphamisms as "the S word", or "the F word". They usually get it.

Here's an old Davism off the shelf:

Dave Ts a kid for profanity.
Howler Monkey: What did he say?
Dave: Coach, he said that word that starts with "F" and ends in "U-C-K" and it's not "FIRETRUCK".

[zebraman]

Everyone deserves respect, regardless of age. If a player gets out of line, it should be dealt with and move on. No grudges.... Refs can't have chips on their shoulders and we're supposed to be out there to serve the kids. I respect any kid who has the guts to put in the time and effort in activities, whether they be athletic, academic or social. Those are generally the good kids.

Z

[Oz Referee]

What on earth does age have to do with respect?

If I am a 30 year old player, and the referee is only 20 should I grant them the same ammount of respect as the other official, who is 45? Damn right!

The only two things that have any relationship to the ammount of respect a person deserves is their position, and their behaviour.

An official demands a certain level of respect, regardless of their age.

A coach deserves a certain ammount of respect, regardless of age. BUT - if that coach's behaviour is out of line, then the ammount of respect they deserve falls.

As a referee that started at a young age (11) and is still reasonably young for the level of games that I do, I hate people that judge me on my age, rather than my ability.

I agree, the assitant was out of line, but Rut, so are you. Choose not to respect the player becuase of their attitude - never their age!

[bluezebra]

With an attitude like yours, and that 2x4 chip on your shoulder, you have no business officiating youth sports.

Bob

[JRutledge]

Originally posted by Oz Referee
What on earth does age have to do with respect?

If I am a 30 year old player, and the referee is only 20 should I grant them the same ammount of respect as the other official, who is 45? Damn right!

The only two things that have any relationship to the ammount of respect a person deserves is their position, and their behaviour.

An official demands a certain level of respect, regardless of their age.

A coach deserves a certain ammount of respect, regardless of age. BUT - if that coach's behaviour is out of line, then the ammount of respect they deserve falls.

As a referee that started at a young age (11) and is still reasonably young for the level of games that I do, I hate people that judge me on my age, rather than my ability.

I agree, the assitant was out of line, but Rut, so are you. Choose not to respect the player becuase of their attitude - never their age!

Sorry I do not agree. Age has everything to do with it. I am 29, I do not treat people that are 50 the same as I would someone that is 25. I was raised the you treat people that are older than you, especially people that were adults when I was a child. Maybe you were allowed to call the adults in your life by their first name, I was not. And with me being 29, I still refer to many of my friends parents as Mr or Mrs. I do not call my girlfriend's mother by her first name or any other women that I dated, and I will never call someone that is in a their senior (eg. aunt, uncle) and age matters then.

And when I was a kid, it was not even approved to call adults by their first name. And it definitely was not approved by my parents to say and do anything in front of adults. That is why this society is falling apart, the adults try to treat these children as adults. They are not. And I am not going to change that value. And if any kid wants to run his mouth, I will handle it or let the coach do so. I am not treating a teenager the same as someone that has lived much, much longer. That is not in my value system.

And that is why I never introduce myself as Jeff to any captain, I am Mr. Rutledge to them, because I will still show that respect to those adults and say the same to them and I am almost 30.

Coaches by the way are different. And coaches by position should be shown some respect, much more than assistant coaches. And coaches are adults, they do not have children coaching other children in HS. Players at the HS level, are not my peer in life or by position. And if this is suppose to be the extention of the classroom, I am not going to have any kid talk to me any kind of way. If they are not old enough to get a HS license in my state, they do not deserve more respect because they are a player.


Peace

[Edited by JRutledge on Feb 4th, 2002 at 12:37 AM]

[JRutledge]

Originally posted by zebraman
Everyone deserves respect, regardless of age. If a player gets out of line, it should be dealt with and move on. No grudges.... Refs can't have chips on their shoulders and we're supposed to be out there to serve the kids. I respect any kid who has the guts to put in the time and effort in activities, whether they be athletic, academic or social. Those are generally the good kids.

Z

Well, so you let a player talk to you any kind of way? Are you not in authority?

And if all that is the case, do you talk to your boss or the people that you work for the same as the people you work with. Please tell me you do so I can laugh. Because the guy or gal in charge is always treated with a certain level of respect, or you do not work there.

[JRutledge]

Originally posted by bluezebra
With an attitude like yours, and that 2x4 chip on your shoulder, you have no business officiating youth sports.

Bob

You are right, I am going to have a 15 year old say anything to me regardless of what the rules state. That is why we have kids killing parants, you guys want to be friends instead of parants. No wonder this world is F**Ked up.

Peace

[bard]

And when I was a kid, it was not even approved to call adults by their first name. And it definitely was not approved by my parents to say and do anything in front of adults.

Amen! All too often, respect is lacking. And I have considerable respect for a coach that makes respectable behavior a priority for his players. A local coach here has the #1 Class A team in the state, but his top player is a hot head.

Two weekends ago, the hot head pulled back-to-back T's for losing his temper and arguing with the official. He then proceeded to give the bench a swift kick. This past Friday, the player served a one-game suspension for his behavior against the #6 team in class 3A. Despite jumping out to a 22-4 lead, they finally lost in a nail-biter. Hot head never got in the game. The coach was willing to sacrifice the #1 ranking to teach this kid a lesson. I hope it took.

[tharbert]

Hey Rut, you have 33% of the posts in this thread and 66% ding you on your attitude. You were talking about a pregame comment from a non-counter. Maybe the assistant did look up to the kid. Let comments like that flow off your back like water off a duck. The alternative is that you get pissed off and it affects the way you call the game. The level of respect you hold for individuals on the court really should have no bearing on the game you call.

As for the pregame, maybe a more appropriate comment would have included the language used by all players. Why single out the habitual offender. Let the whistle do the talking. You think the coaches don't hear what's said on the court? Toss the little reprobate on the second fuc&.

[zebraman]

Well, so you let a player talk to you any kind of way?

If you read my original post, you'll say that I say to deal with it and move on. If I have to give a kid a T, I do so and then we get on with the game. I will continue to treat the kid with respect once it's dealt with.

Are you not in authority?

Yes, and people in authority are generally looked to with more respect than those who think they are better than others.

And if all that is the case, do you talk to your boss or the people that you work for the same as the people you work
with. Please tell me you do so I can laugh. Because the guy or gal in charge is always treated with a certain level of
respect, or you do not work there.

Laugh all you want, but the answer is yes. I treat my co-workers with the same respect that I do my boss. Brown-nosing not needed when you respect everyone.

What century do you live in where the amount of respect you give people depends upon their age and you're too good to do girls basketball? You give referees (and adults and men) a bad name. Amazing.

Z