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  #16 (permalink)  
Old Tue Oct 02, 2007, 03:16pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mbyron
Your daughter employed an excellent rhetorical strategy: since she conceded that he might be right, she gave him a reason for shutting up with which he couldn't argue.

Very clever. I wonder where she got it.
My money is on Juulie.
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old Tue Oct 02, 2007, 03:39pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 26 Year Gap
My money is on Juulie.
I will not take that bet.
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old Tue Oct 02, 2007, 03:52pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mbyron
Your daughter employed an excellent rhetorical strategy: since she conceded that he might be right, she gave him a reason for shutting up with which he couldn't argue. Very clever. I wonder where she got it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 26 Year Gap
My money is on Juulie.
Sorry, this happened before Juulie was born.
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old Tue Oct 02, 2007, 03:53pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eyezen
I wasn't implying your wife couldn't take care of herself but why even go there.

See now you got even more problems than the game itself.

But hey if that's what you want to do then go for it.
I really do not think this is a big deal at all. I know I have gone to places where it was very clear that my girlfriend or my Mother was with me just by looking at us. And believe me I was at places that were much more hostile on other levels that just me being an official. And I have never heard them have a problem with fans or anyone at those locations during HS or college games. So I have to disagree that this would be any different or a major problem.

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  #20 (permalink)  
Old Tue Oct 02, 2007, 04:02pm
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I keep thinking about this, and while my wife has never been to one of my games (she's just not a sports fan), I don't think it would really be a problem. She knows what people say to officials, and it's not like it's going to affect her impression of me.

Might there be some a$$hole who wants to make himself feel better by verbally assaulting the ref's wife? Maybe, but I'm convinced there'd be a few more folks in the stands who'd just as quickly take him aside.

Now, my daughter's another story. She's so sensitive and tender hearted, I'd rather she didn't hear people yelling at her father just yet. Maybe when she's 14 or so.
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  #21 (permalink)  
Old Tue Oct 02, 2007, 05:16pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JRutledge
I really do not think this is a big deal at all. I know I have gone to places where it was very clear that my girlfriend or my Mother was with me just by looking at us. And believe me I was at places that were much more hostile on other levels that just me being an official. And I have never heard them have a problem with fans or anyone at those locations during HS or college games. So I have to disagree that this would be any different or a major problem.

Peace
Your girlfriend and mother probably didn't wear ref jerseys that declared to everyone around them what they were there for. More than likely in your scenario they blended in with the crowd once the ball went up, yes even those situations you talk about where everyone knew who they with.

In the end, I just felt it could be undue attention, albeit with good intentions, that could run afoul. I have had my family attend games and they have never had a problem either, but they never declared to the world(or gym in this case) why they were there. The OP certainly knows his situation better than me and he can make his own judgment just as you felt it was OK for your family.

I never said anything about not attending at all. I was merely stating the opinion that it was a distraction I'd rather not potentially have to deal simply by choosing to not draw said attention. To each there own.

Last edited by eyezen; Tue Oct 02, 2007 at 05:18pm.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old Tue Oct 02, 2007, 05:24pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JRutledge
I know I have gone to places where it was very clear that my girlfriend or my Mother was with me just by looking at us.
Jeff - I noticed you said "girlfriend or mother", not "girlfriend and mother". Keeping your girlfriend and your mother apart is a very smart plan.
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Old Tue Oct 02, 2007, 05:47pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Padgett
Jeff - I noticed you said "girlfriend or mother", not "girlfriend and mother". Keeping your girlfriend and your mother apart is a very smart plan.
It's also best not to compare them to each other.

Not that I've learned this from experience, though.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old Tue Oct 02, 2007, 07:55pm
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The Coach Is With My Wife

Early in my officiating career, as a junior varsity official, before we had children, my wife would often go to Saturday night games with me, and we would go out to dinner after the game.

In one instance, a few weeks before, I had officiated a junior varsity game in which the varsity coach coached my game because his assistant was ill. He was, and still is, a real "old school" coach, who believed in "working the officials", as a very successful basketball, baseball, and soccer coach. I had to remind him several times in the junior varsity game to act in a sportmanlike manner. There were no technical fouls called, but I spent a lot of effort on maintaining proper bench decorum.

A few weeks later, I had the same school's junior varsity game on a Saturday night. This time the assistant coach coached my junior varsity game. During the game, I look into the stands to see the varsity coach talking to my wife, who is pointing to me. I couldn't imagine what he was saying about me to my wife, he always had an "anti-official" reputation. After my game, I spoke to my wife and she told me that he was very complimentary of my officiating and he wished that more junior varsity officials would "take care of business" in terms of bench decdorum.

Go figure.
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old Tue Oct 02, 2007, 10:17pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eyezen
Your girlfriend and mother probably didn't wear ref jerseys that declared to everyone around them what they were there for. More than likely in your scenario they blended in with the crowd once the ball went up, yes even those situations you talk about where everyone knew who they with.

In the end, I just felt it could be undue attention, albeit with good intentions, that could run afoul. I have had my family attend games and they have never had a problem either, but they never declared to the world(or gym in this case) why they were there. The OP certainly knows his situation better than me and he can make his own judgment just as you felt it was OK for your family.

I never said anything about not attending at all. I was merely stating the opinion that it was a distraction I'd rather not potentially have to deal simply by choosing to not draw said attention. To each there own.
Maybe they did not wear an officiating shirt, but it was clear that the only people of color were not there with all the players and coaches that were white. And in a few cases, they have had people make comments to them (so far good) asking which official they were with. Maybe they did not wear a jersey, but that had other obvious features that told on them. Also it is pretty obvious who they are with when the walk in with me.

Peace
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old Wed Oct 03, 2007, 06:25am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JRutledge
Maybe they did not wear a jersey, but that had other obvious features that told on them. Also it is pretty obvious who they are with when the walk in with me.
It might not be that obvious if you didn't make your mother carry your bag. No wonder the woman is a saint.

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  #27 (permalink)  
Old Wed Oct 03, 2007, 06:41am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Padgett
Jeff - I noticed you said "girlfriend or mother", not "girlfriend and mother".
What would Freud say?
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old Wed Oct 03, 2007, 10:32am
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Exclamation

Quote:
Originally Posted by mbyron
What would Freud say?
Not much - he's dead. Oh wait - are you referring to his brother, Murray Freud?
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