Coaching Comedics

[lawump]

I don't specifically have a moment where a coach said something funny...but I did have a moment where a coach did something that made me laugh at a player...for hours.

Plate meeting (MiLB spring training game...played on a cloverleaf field):

Head coach: "All I want you to do is call strikes. If you call strikes I'll say nothing. If any of my players complain about a strike, I'll take care of it, they'll be running on the other field for the rest of the day."

Me (rookie MiLB umpire): "o.k."


Later in the game (sixth inning):

Me: "Strike Three!"
Player: "That's bullsh!t. You're F&*%in horrible!"
Head coach (running from third base coach's box): "Don't you dare say anything. You ain't here to learn how to walk. Your mother taught you how to do that when you were two. You are here to learn how to hit. Get the G.D. bat off your shoulder. Joe (the assistant coach) take him over there, now!"

Sure enough, between every half inning for the rest of the game I could see the player running windsprints on the adjoining field. First and only time in my life where a head coach ejected his own player before I could!