indicators

[Skahtboi]

Anybody ever wonder why most bathroom scales end at 400 pounds, and most doctors scales go to 500? And how do you find out if you weigh 560?

[CajunNewBlue]

Originally Posted by Skahtboi

Anybody ever wonder why most bathroom scales end at 400 pounds, and most doctors scales go to 500? And how do youo find out if you weigh 560?

why would ya care?

[Skahtboi]

Originally Posted by CajunNewBlue

why would ya care?

Because maybe I want to be a contestant on "The World's Biggest Loser!"

[Dakota]

I use 3-2-2 indicators (with the wheels in the order of the count, too... ball, strike).

I use them just to keep other umpires from borrowing my spare!

[mick]

Originally Posted by Dakota

I use 3-2-2 indicators (with the wheels in the order of the count, too... ball, strike).

I use them just to keep other umpires from borrowing my spare!

I use 3-2-2, ... 2.
Don't lend 'em out, cuz they don't come back.

[Skahtboi]

Originally Posted by mick

I use 3-2-2, ... 2.
Don't lend 'em out, cuz they don't come back.

I have a policy with partners who forget their stuff. Leave a deposit for the cost of the item being borrowed. That way, if it doesn't come back, I really don't care!

[vcblue]

Originally Posted by Dakota

I use 3-2-2 indicators (with the wheels in the order of the count, too... ball, strike).

I use them just to keep other umpires from borrowing my spare!

I have one of those as a spare. By accident I grabbed it the other day. Boy was I screwed up the whole game. Send me your address and I will mail it to you

[IRISHMAFIA]

Originally Posted by Dakota

I use 3-2-2 indicators (with the wheels in the order of the count, too... ball, strike).

I use them just to keep other umpires from borrowing my spare!

Yeah, they are good..........for one-pitch games!

Originally Posted by Skahtboi

Anybody ever wonder why most bathroom scales end at 400 pounds, and most doctors scales go to 500? And how do you find out if you weigh 560?

Go to the local butchering shop.

[ChampaignBlue]

Originally Posted by Skahtboi

Anybody ever wonder why most bathroom scales end at 400 pounds, and most doctors scales go to 500? And how do you find out if you weigh 560?

Quite simple realy. Fill a very large container with distilled water (you can not use salt water or beer as substitutes). Put in a small boat capable of supporting your weight. Mark the water level before you enter the boat. Enter the boat and mark the water level again. Calculate the volume of water displaced by you in the boat. If the container is rectangular multiply the width by length by height difference of before and after you enter the boat. If the container is round like a very large beaker then it is height difference times ¼ times pi times diameter². If you measured in feet then multiply the results by 62.42796 and that will give you how many pounds that you weigh. If you measured in inches then you should use 0.036127 as the multiplier to get pounds. Formetric and odd shaped containers PM me.

The other option that comes to mind is to go to the circus and ask the amazing Randy to tell you your weight.

In coed slow pitch ball, sometimes we usually let the well-endowed female captain pick home or visitor. Usually the male captain from the other team is too busy staring at the rack to even notice. We umpires are sometimes counting our cash and wondering the price.

[NCASAUmp]

Originally Posted by Ref Ump Welsch

In coed slow pitch ball, sometimes we usually let the well-endowed female captain pick home or visitor. Usually the male captain from the other team is too busy staring at the rack to even notice. We umpires are sometimes counting our cash and wondering the price.

I once had a catcher with an absolutely GORGEOUS rack in coed SP, and she often wore spandex while behind the plate. During her pitcher's warm-ups, she said to me, "you're so lucky."

Me: Why's that?

Catcher: Because you get to stare at my fabulous *** all game.

Me (mentally): It ain't that fabulous, honey. Turn around, and I'll enjoy your fabulousness.

[IRISHMAFIA]

Should read:

Dave: Why's that?

Catcher: Because you get to stare at my fabulous *** all game.

Dave: Ball

Catcher: Didn't you see that? Wasn't it a strike?

Dave: Don't know, I was looking at your fabulous ***.

Originally Posted by IRISHMAFIA

Should read:

Dave: Why's that?

Catcher: Because you get to stare at my fabulous *** all game.

Dave: Ball

Catcher: Didn't you see that? Wasn't it a strike?

Dave: Don't know, I was looking at your fabulous ***.

And if the batter is looking at the rack, call all the strikes you want!

[bkbjones]

We used to do the "clean and sober league" here.

Among others, we had some strippers. I remember, six years later, this one catcher in particular. The formulae for figuring out weights, specific gravity and water displacement comes to mind. Not that she was heavy, mind you, but them coughsufferers were much more than a mouthful and she didn't wear a whole heckuva lot when she wasn't a stripper.

At the end of the third inning, she turned around and shook my hand.

"I've got to go now, but I wanted to thank you for not drooling on my shoulder."