Kill it or let it play out?

[Dakota]

The Federation is pretty clear about this kind of thing, and it could very well have been handled earlier in the confrontation.

NFHS Rule 3-6 (Bench and Field Conduct)

ART. 13 . . . Unsporting acts shall not be committed, including, but not limited to:
a. use of words or actions to incite or try to incite spectators to demonstrate.
b. use of profanity, intimidation and/or deceitful tactics, or baiting or taunting; or
c. behavior in any manner not in accordance with the spirit of fair play.

PENALTY: (Arts. 11 through 16) The umpire shall eject the offender from the game, unless the offense is judged to be of a minor nature. If minor, the umpire may warn the offender and eject if the offense is repeated.

ART. 19 . . . Team personnel shall not participate in a fight or leave his/her position/ bench area when a fight has broken out or may break out. A coach who enters the field to restrain combatants from his/her team shall not be considered to have violated this rule.
NOTE:Fighting is any attempt by a player or non-player to strike or engage an opponent in a combative manner unrelated to softball. Such acts include, but are not limited to, attempts to strike an opponent(s) with the arm(s), hand(s), leg(s) or foot (feet), whether or not there is contact.

PENALTY: (Arts. 18, 19) Considered serious offenses, the offender shall be ejected.

The taunting / baiting rule may have been applied as soon as the "play" ended and the trash talking began. This could have (maybe) stopped things short of the fight.