Poisonous personalities

[KentuckyBlue]

After a pretty mild season AA-wise I might have had my guard down recently when I substituted in a friend’s league and encountered a team with a wise-mouthed, smart-@ss pitcher and catcher. (Adult independent men’s slow pitch, NSA, between C and D skill level).

Catcher was a particular puzzle. He told me under his breath, “I talk a lot, don’t get mad.” Then he proceeded to criticize out loud EVERY ball and strike. He never made me lose it but I was fuming inside.

Especially when combined with the pitcher, whose technique was to stretch his arms and raise his eyes to heaven after EVERY call, in obvious anguish over the fates that had saddled him with such an incompetent.

My principles are that a player can express disagreement with my calls one time without penalty – after all, we are all Americans and we didn’t lose the right to have and express opinions just because we stepped on a playing field. Express the opinion twice and I’ll warn you. Express it three times, or say anything personal about me, my mother or the other players and you’re immediately gone.

NSA has a good rule that if any player except pitcher, catcher or batter leaves the field position to argue balls and strikes, he or she earns an immediate no-warning ejection; but that rule doesn’t help when it’s the pitcher and catcher giving the trouble. Couldn’t go to the manager either, because it’s one of those collective everybody-plays teams that doesn’t really have one.

My substitute status kept me from immediately pulling the string here. (Though I only eject an average of one person a year -- a reflection of the very low-level recreation leagues I work.)

So all things considered, I decided that, however irritating the catcher’s constant comments got, I would honor my principles and not toss him unless and until he said something personal. In fact, I never responded to his indirect baiting at all except to tell an opposing batter who commented that I must be having a rough night, “Naah, got a gnat buzzing in my ear but that’s all.” Well wait, there was one other reaction. I did tell the catcher privately and calmly that “There seems to be two opinions on every pitch back here, yours and mine; how you tell the difference is, mine is the one that matters.” But those were my only reactions, I’m proud of that. (I’ve had other nights that haven’t seen me so calm.)

He never stopped his tirade about my calls, he never said anything personal, I never lost my cool, the pitcher never let up his impression of bleeding Jesus on the cross, and the only ongoing consequence was that I left puzzling over the mindset of an AA that would choose that way to enjoy an evening of softball. What poisonous personalities -- sociopathic ten-year-olds in the bodies of mid-40s adults who are presumably never as immature in any other phase of their lives.

The pitcher did make what could be construed as a personal comment griping to his teammates within my earshot as he was leaving, “Hope he calls the bases next time because he sure can’t call the plate.” (I’ve only been umpiring slow-pitch 12 years now.) But the game was over by then, and I didn’t feel like I had the authority to eject him from a game already over.

I was proud of the way I handled myself at the time but not proud of the way it’s stayed in my head since then. Gotta get over it. I guess every night you work moves you one step closer toward continuing with the game or quitting. This was one of those step-backward nights, I guess. Tonight will be different.

[IRISHMAFIA]

Originally posted by KentuckyBlue
After a pretty mild season AA-wise I might have had my guard down recently when I substituted in a friend’s league and encountered a team with a wise-mouthed, smart-@ss pitcher and catcher. (Adult independent men’s slow pitch, NSA, between C and D skill level).

Catcher was a particular puzzle. He told me under his breath, “I talk a lot, don’t get mad.” Then he proceeded to criticize out loud EVERY ball and strike. He never made me lose it but I was fuming inside.

Especially when combined with the pitcher, whose technique was to stretch his arms and raise his eyes to heaven after EVERY call, in obvious anguish over the fates that had saddled him with such an incompetent.

My principles are that a player can express disagreement with my calls one time without penalty – after all, we are all Americans and we didn’t lose the right to have and express opinions just because we stepped on a playing field. Express the opinion twice and I’ll warn you. Express it three times, or say anything personal about me, my mother or the other players and you’re immediately gone.

NSA has a good rule that if any player except pitcher, catcher or batter leaves the field position to argue balls and strikes, he or she earns an immediate no-warning ejection; but that rule doesn’t help when it’s the pitcher and catcher giving the trouble. Couldn’t go to the manager either, because it’s one of those collective everybody-plays teams that doesn’t really have one.

My substitute status kept me from immediately pulling the string here. (Though I only eject an average of one person a year -- a reflection of the very low-level recreation leagues I work.)

So all things considered, I decided that, however irritating the catcher’s constant comments got, I would honor my principles and not toss him unless and until he said something personal. In fact, I never responded to his indirect baiting at all except to tell an opposing batter who commented that I must be having a rough night, “Naah, got a gnat buzzing in my ear but that’s all.” Well wait, there was one other reaction. I did tell the catcher privately and calmly that “There seems to be two opinions on every pitch back here, yours and mine; how you tell the difference is, mine is the one that matters.” But those were my only reactions, I’m proud of that. (I’ve had other nights that haven’t seen me so calm.)

He never stopped his tirade about my calls, he never said anything personal, I never lost my cool, the pitcher never let up his impression of bleeding Jesus on the cross, and the only ongoing consequence was that I left puzzling over the mindset of an AA that would choose that way to enjoy an evening of softball. What poisonous personalities -- sociopathic ten-year-olds in the bodies of mid-40s adults who are presumably never as immature in any other phase of their lives.

The pitcher did make what could be construed as a personal comment griping to his teammates within my earshot as he was leaving, “Hope he calls the bases next time because he sure can’t call the plate.” (I’ve only been umpiring slow-pitch 12 years now.) But the game was over by then, and I didn’t feel like I had the authority to eject him from a game already over.

I was proud of the way I handled myself at the time but not proud of the way it’s stayed in my head since then. Gotta get over it. I guess every night you work moves you one step closer toward continuing with the game or quitting. This was one of those step-backward nights, I guess. Tonight will be different.

Warnings from a player mean zippo. If they start running at the mouth about your work, get rid of them. PERIOD. Don't be a good guy, don't try to be nice, just dump them. You are doing no one, especially yourself or other umpires, any favor by letting them think they can get away with that sort of crap.

And you can dump a player anytime you want. What the local association does with it is up to them, but if they do not accept it and back you up, find someplace else to work. If you give the coaches and players free rein just because the game is over, you/local association is just asking for trouble.

JMHO,

[mick]

Originally posted by KentuckyBlue

My principles are that a player can express disagreement with my calls one time without penalty – after all, we are all Americans and we didn’t lose the right to have and express opinions just because we stepped on a playing field. Express the opinion twice and I’ll warn you. Express it three times, OR say anything personal about me, my mother or the other players and you’re immediately gone.

[snip]

So all things considered, I decided that, however irritating the catcher’s constant comments got, I would honor my principles and not toss him unless and until he said something personal.

[snip]

He never stopped his tirade about my calls, he never said anything personal,....

Kentucky Blue,
I am a little confused.
Catcher's verbal and constant displeasure did not make the game better for anyone.
You showed more patience than I would have shown based on your principles.
Did you mean complain and being personal?

mick

[Bluefoot]

I have had similar situations with Men's ASA SP Rec leagues. On certain teams, the pitcher/catcher battery whine and complain to each other about nearly every call against them. I've learned that if I just ingore them, things go better. I never show that I care about anything they moan to each other. Unless it's a direct complaint right to me, or if they use a foul mouth, or if they are very demonstrative - then I give them a team warning. Earlier on, I'd try to answer them back, but I learned that that led to much worse situations. Not dignifying their remarks frustrates them more, and they're not happy when they realize that they can't get to me. Plus, I don't want to show the other team that I favor one team over another by trying to reason, explain myself, or enter into any banter with players. I've also learned that even when a game is going well, to talk with the players as little as possible. 'Cause even if it all seems friendly and happy, sure enough the game turns, and they'll be all over you on one close call against them. It does not need to be this way, but the players make it that way.

[LMan]

I'm kind of at a loss here. Why would you subject yourself to this for an entire game for no reason or benefit to the game? Purgatory?

I would have esp used my 'substitute' status to run those guys pronto (maybe a warning or two). Ann Landers always said, "no one can take advantage of you without your permission."

IMO, your laxity here just made life hell for the next umpire(s) that have to deal with these two jewels. Sometimes you need to take out the trash so others don't have to....

[kono]

Give me kids any day

[Dakota]

Originally posted by kono
Give me kids any day

My feelings, exactly. While I respect the job you guys do with adult leagues, it's not for me.

BTW, it would seem the pitcher's public, exaggerated deomonstrations were well within the definition of "disparaging" the umpire. As were any loud comments from the catcher. A kid doing this would have earned a warning to her and her coach. That would have most likely ended it with no ejection required. "Catch, if you want to see the end of this game, you'd better control yourself."

[CecilOne]

We would hope they "are presumably never as immature in any other phase of their lives"

Enough is enough. "criticize out loud EVERY ball and strike" or "stretch his arms and raise his eyes to heaven after EVERY call, in obvious anguish" would not have been continued by anyone remaining in the game.

[DownTownTonyBrown]

I vote for tossing but I also know how that can create some new problems unless you are ready to forfeit the game for the other team.

Another tactic you might try is to join them.

What!? Join them!

Yeh. Bleeding heart right along with them. They think it was bad call, agree with them. Blabber right along with them. Tell them about the worst calls you've made. Maybe you get a real kick out of making bad calls. I've got worse calls... wait till you get up. Oooh baby! I'm saving some hot ones for you.

In an adult rec league, I would be ready to forfeit in a heartbeart.