JOKES!!!

[ChuckElias]

Originally posted by rainmaker
I'd like to see more of the shaggy-dog-story-multi-pun-punchline type. These are my dad's favorites, and I'd love to find a new one for him.

A long piece of rope walks into a bar, and sits on a stool. The bartender immediately tells him to leave. "We don't serve your kind in here!" he says derisively.

The rope sighs, gets up and leaves the bar. Once outside, he twists himself up and rumples his hair. He then walks back in, and sits at the bar.

The bartender eyes him suspiciously and asks, "Aren't you that rope who was just in here a minute ago?"

The rope replied, "Nope, I'm afraid not. . ."
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A mushroom walks into bar and takes a seat. The bartender immediately tells him to leave. "We don't serve your kind in here!" he says derisively.

"Why not?" asked the mushroom. "I'm a fun guy!"

I also love lightbulb jokes, such as: How many mice can screw in a lightbulb? Only two, and they have to use the missionary position.

I like that one Juules, and I haven't heard it before. Very cute.

Q: How many surrealist painters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Trout

And Steven Wright humor:

Well, you can't have everything. Where would you keep it?