just a little note- travel and coaches

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by BryanV21

That's good that you can concentrate on two words in the definition, but ignore the other 42.

If you do not agree that is fine. I am not trying to build a rapport with a coach. I want to be professional with what they ask and expect them to do the same. I do not have the same goals for the game that they do. They think they can say something to us and we are influenced. They are often mistaken and not my concern to have them like what they hear from me. If that is your approach, so be it. Just understand a lot of officials could give a damn and are fine.

mutual understanding

When are we going to have mutual understanding. If a coach feels you are wrong, you are not going to always change their mind by telling them something.

bond

What bond do I want to have with a coach? I might get a bond, but in the game not my goal. I develop bonds with coaches after being around them in several games and they realize I am doing my job and not much else. Most coaches will respect that fact.

empathy, sympathy

Not sure why I would have to have either of these things. Again I am not a coach and I know they can get frustrated, but I am not the whipping boy for them. If they want information I will give it to them. But feeling these things are not going to change the fact their team cannot stop turning the ball over or taking bad shots.

Peace

[BryanV21]

Originally Posted by JRutledge

If you do not agree that is fine. I am not trying to build a rapport with a coach. I want to be professional with what they ask and expect them to do the same. I do not have the same goals for the game that they do. They think they can say something to us and we are influenced. They are often mistaken and not my concern to have them like what they hear from me. If that is your approach, so be it. Just understand a lot of officials could give a damn and are fine.

Peace

Like other comments before it, this response tells me that you are not getting what I'm saying. Building a rapport has NOTHING to do with being friends, or being "chummy" as you once put it. You're simply figuring out a way to work with one another, so if a question or concern comes up you can take care of them without any misunderstandings or ill feelings, which could affect other things down the road.

I don't know another way to go, either. So I guess this is where our conversation ends.

[JRutledge]

Originally Posted by BryanV21

Like other comments before it, this response tells me that you are not getting what I'm saying. Building a rapport has NOTHING to do with being friends, or being "chummy" as you once put it. You're simply figuring out a way to work with one another, so if a question or concern comes up you can take care of them without any misunderstandings or ill feelings, which could affect other things down the road.

I don't know another way to go, either. So I guess this is where our conversation ends.

I thought you said to agree to disagree?

And all that you said is not my goal as an official. I have been in enough situations where no matter how much rulebook language you use, how nice you say thing, coaches do not have your agenda in communicating with you as an official. They want to be right. They often are used to being in control. So they think saying something to you is going to influence what you do as an official. They think that you have an agenda as an official (like protecting a star or not ticking off the opponent's coach). They think we care where the game is being played or who assigns the game. So why in the world would I try to develop an rapport with a person that thinks I have a certain agenda about the game? If that is your goal that is fine, but it is not the goal many I know have when dealing with coaches or trying to communicate with them.

Peace