Communicating with Coaches

[Bird Dog]

My second year now done, I can reflect on where I need to make improvements.

While there are certainly more areas tan just this one, I think my communication with coaches can be greatly improved. Sample exchange from my 1st year:

Coach: (Caps indicate screaming) HOW WAS THAT A FOUL?!
Me: I saw number 24 foul, coach.
Coach: HOW?!
Me: He held his arm.
Coach: HE GOT ALL BALL!
Me: [silence, no eye contact w/ coach]
Coach: ...CAN YOU ANSWER ME THAT?
Me: You didn't ask a question.
Coach: WHERE WAS THE FOUL!?
Me: [moment of awkward silence, then screaming] I SAW WHAT I SAW COACH!
Coach: WELL YOU'RE A HORRIBLE REF!!
Me: THAT'S A 'T!'


Here's (close to) an actual conversation from this past year from a JV match:

Coach: HE DID'T FOUL HIM, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE LOOKING AT!
Me: Do you have a question, coach?
Coach: WHERE WAS THE FOUL!?
Me: He grabbed his arm, coach.
COACH: HE DID NOT!
Me: Look, the offensive player and your player, 34, were both facing me [I was lead in 2-man, opposite table-side]... meaning both players had there back to you. So you did not have the view that I did... I had a clear view of the play right in front of me, saw the grab and BLEW MY WHISTLE!
Coach: WELL THAT'S TERRIBLE... ARE YOU A JV REF OR VARSITY REF?
Me: [argumentative tone] Are you the head coach or the JV coach?
Coach: [glares at me]
Me: [silence, glancing at coach with raised eyebrows]
Coach: [trying to calm down] JV or Varsity?
Me: [trying to calm, but still sarcastic] I am licensed by the KHSAA to call any sanctioned game [our assignor] chooses to give me regardless of level.
Coach: [angry tone] Well your horrible.
Me: [angry tone] Unsportsmanlike. That's your 'T' Coach.


I later found it (sadly) ironic I was calling the Coach "Unsportsmanlike" in the tone I was using. Didn't change the fact he was, but was a poor reflection on me. While veteran officials can tell me certain things to say or not say - the one thing I noticed many of the top officials in my area do, is even if they are in an exchange with a coach where the 2 sides disagree, their tone is never, ever argumentative, never confrontational. In fact, I've seen a few argue with coaches while smiling. Example: [with almost happy tone] "Coach, I'm sorry I didn't see it that way [flashes smile]"

While I certainly can get better at communicating what I call - I can probably get better at how I say it too!