Communicating with Coaches

[JetMetFan]

Originally Posted by Bird Dog

Coach: (Caps indicate screaming) HOW WAS THAT A FOUL?!
Me: I saw number 24 foul, coach.
Coach: HOW?!
Me: He held his arm.
Coach: HE GOT ALL BALL!
Me: [silence, no eye contact w/ coach]
Coach: ...CAN YOU ANSWER ME THAT?
Me: You didn't ask a question.
Coach: WHERE WAS THE FOUL!?
Me: [moment of awkward silence, then screaming] I SAW WHAT I SAW COACH!
Coach: WELL YOU'RE A HORRIBLE REF!!
Me: THAT'S A 'T!'


Here's (close to) an actual conversation from this past year from a JV match:

Coach: HE DID'T FOUL HIM, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE LOOKING AT!
Me: Do you have a question, coach?
Coach: WHERE WAS THE FOUL!?
Me: He grabbed his arm, coach.
COACH: HE DID NOT!
Me: Look, the offensive player and your player, 34, were both facing me [I was lead in 2-man, opposite table-side]... meaning both players had there back to you. So you did not have the view that I did... I had a clear view of the play right in front of me, saw the grab and BLEW MY WHISTLE!
Coach: WELL THAT'S TERRIBLE... ARE YOU A JV REF OR VARSITY REF?
Me: [argumentative tone] Are you the head coach or the JV coach?
Coach: [glares at me]
Me: [silence, glancing at coach with raised eyebrows]
Coach: [trying to calm down] JV or Varsity?
Me: [trying to calm, but still sarcastic] I am licensed by the KHSAA to call any sanctioned game [our assignor] chooses to give me regardless of level.
Coach: [angry tone] Well your horrible.
Me: [angry tone] Unsportsmanlike. That's your 'T' Coach.

At least you're learning As time goes on you'll realize fewer words are better because, try as we might, we're not going to make some coaches happy and that's not our job anyway.

Just my $0.02 but...In scenario #1 after "How was that a foul?!" if you just stopped at "Coach, he held his arm" it might have ended there. If he goes on in the way you say he did, I stop talking. He'll get the idea.

In scenario #2, I probably don't say a word to him after his first comment unless he's acted out before. In that case he may get "Coach, that's enough." If he actually got to the "where was the foul?" question then sure, tell him #34 grabbed his arm. Don't even bother with the extended explanation since he doesn't want to hear it anyway. The question about what level you work should shut down any conversation with him for the rest of the game and, in IMO, at least an official warning. Engaging with crazy can only lead to more crazy.